They say trust me because I know what's going to happen.
They say believe me because I don't want you to end up hurt. they say your getting old but still treat you like a kid.
they say love but don't love at all.
They say some day your going to thank me but I feel trapped in a cage.
They say some day you'll understand but you do but you still feel like a flightless bird.
Maybe that's the adult life I don't know.

Do you know why?
Why I always panic?
Why I always worry?
Why I always ask all the stupid questions?
Why I'll ask you if you love me?
Because I never been anyone's first.
Never have been someone's fire
They're reason to keep fighting.
I've always been just the little spark like a cheap lighter.
Never have I ever been anyone's first.
I never had anyone ask me if I'm okay.
I had never had anyone to hold me not with their touch but with their soul.
I had never had someone cry to me
I had never had someone confess all there feelings and secrets.
You want to know why I ask all these stupid questions?
Because I've never had ever been anyone's first.
So for once in my pathetic life
I want this to last
I want this to work
I want this to be my true last.
Because your the first person to love me.
And all I can do is hope and pray.
Because you know what?
From my broken heart and trust from so long ago.
I want to let you know these words.
I love you.
I truly love you from my body and soul.
So please understand my way of thinking.
My worries
My anxiety
Because I've never been anyone's first. And I promise and pray.
That I'll be your last if ...
If you promise you'll be my last love from now and forever.

Where a love song can't explain everything I feel. Where I try to write down emotions you make me feel.
but ..
can't get the right words coming out like it should..
Where should I begin?
You got me fantasizing you and me
Going on dates going in love and deep just you and me.
Not gonna lie I never thought I would hear myself saying these words but you got me sprung got me in love flying in the sky like a pure dove.
I never really knew what to say just knew I was lucky to say lucky to be your one and only future king. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun enjoying the fun but from the heart I just want us to hold hands and run.
Run into a never-ending dream just you and me where we see our dreams and goals becomes more then just words.
We're a team were a couple were a castle filled with endless love and I know it's a battle. A battle harder on our own but I know together will always make it and change it to a forever. Like I said maybe I'm just jumping the gun enjoying the fun but I do believe in this dream called you and me because you know what? We could fight we could scream or shout but at the end of the day I can never life another day without you in my mind and your voice playing that sweet melody that makes my heart melt to two. That's why forever and ever more I promise I'll be your knight in shining armor and you'll be my princess that saves me from myself

One thing I've learned is the one thing hurts more then a break up is loosing your best friend it's a wound the size of a hole inside your heart and nothing to fill it back

You know your growing when your just hungry for more you want more you want to achieve more you want to gain more when your shirt is covered in sweat and you still want to keep going. Your muscles can't even hold you and test your faith to see if you will finally break but your will holds it like a firm hand shake. making you want to push to your limit and break it where your not satisfied and hungry even though you got things going for you you want more and all I would love to say is Feed. Me. More. The struggle of a young adult that finally found the value to life.

Love is something special and adventurous it's okay to be scared of it because it feels new every time you fall and you just can't stop loving the thrill of them

You lost trust in yourself from every beating you get but the war is far from over and this is a fight your not gonna lose

Lever lose for forever more you're going to win this war never doubt a thing just know everything will turn out straight.

Life is hard and love hurts but don't worry theirs a reason why you hurt not because the sky above wants to see you cry just wants you to learn what's love and just try

There could always be disaster but after all the warfare all the shaddow of defeat you see a rose growing on top of the gravel that's when you know things are gonna get better ahead

When you let go of what hurts you everything starts to fall into place just gotta have the Faith  and the will to reach the persuit of happiness

Beautiful full moon in the night sky
Your light shines bright even if there's dark clouds. Makes an individual want to look up and make a dream make a wish like its a shooting star. Your light digs inside in my skin touches the darkest part of my heart and soul and gives me something I rarely get, a spark a lighter that has the power to make a wild fire. Beautiful moon you give me warmth you give me peace you make me want to keep fighting for my beliefs my dreams and conquer my deadly fears.I don't know what tomorrow has in store for me but I know you will guide my way to a staircase to give me the chance and touch and feel your warmth.

To be honest.
I'm scared.
I'm scared of giving every ounce I got.
I'm scared that my happiness would blow up on my face and turn into despair.
I'm scared that this new love will only be for the moment and not for an eternity.
I'm scared that I would be lied to when I've done and gave nothing but the truth.
But on the other hand.
You make my heart whole just by hearing your voice.
You make me smile just by looking into your gentle smile.
You make my heart skip a beat when you be your adorable self.
And in truth.
You make me want to believe in this magic that we call love.
I never been a believer till you casted a spell on me.
And now?
All I can truly say is I let you in restricted grounds
The center of my weakness.
The very emotion that goes through my veins.
I want you.
Your the cure to my disease.
I just hope and pray that you let me in long enough to be part of you like you have to me

Why is it hard to smile ? Why is it hard to think? Why is it so hard to look at someone else and think it's you why do I gotta have memories replay on my mind when I'm trying to sleep why do you pop In my head when I say I love you? Why are you not letting me move on since you already have? Why is it so hard to just let everything go? Why is it so hard to move on? Why is it so hard to listen to the radio without a memory of us replaying in my mind like a song? Maybe it's a sign for hope for the future or maybe the devil is just playing with my heart. Going into the land of lies and grief maybe this is my place in the world? Or maybe I just gotta go through hell till I learn my lesson

Know what you had. Know what you lost. This world goes on even if your gone. Tears down the drain and anger out the hands. History in the mind moments in the heart. Names  through the ear emotions out the eyes. Close the eyes letting it out. The nightmare is soon to be gone with a new twist in this game we call life.

Her smile got me like its a first kiss.  Seeing her name out of the blue got me wondering who this beautiful girl? Heard her voice my mouth droped. Is this for real? Is this a dream? The more we talk the more we connect the more i just cant help but smile like i got my birthday wish. She has dried tears in her eyes a smile that has been shattered but she keeps going. Just something about this girl got me hook like its from a melody from the radio. I know i shouldint.take.it fast but the more i talk.to her the.more i.fall.and now i cant help but smile and look at the big.moon because now i just wana share it with her

Lost in a void of darkness mentally and stuck in a box physically. Mentally I try to answer the question of all questions but get backtracked from feelings coming through and common sense out the window. What's
in store at the end of the tunnel ? Is there gold in the end or just a mental trap ?