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you listen.

when he tells you
you
are
worthless.

when he tells you
you'll
never
be
anything.

when he tells you
it's
always
your
fault.

when he tells you
you
aren't
good
enough.

you listen.
because im your father, and you have to respect your parents. you're just 16, you don't know anything. you won't succeed, you'll be just like your druggy brother, your other drop out brother. you're just like my bipolar ex fiance, that's the kind of stuff she would pull, you know better. you don't need that medicine, just get over it. you're going to hell for believing in that, you don't know any better, you're just 16. you are so disrespectful to sit there and talk back to me. you're wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong, im always right, you're only 16, you don't know anything. youll grow out of it, you need to do better, you need to try harder, you'll never amount to anything. you need to stop, you need to listen, you need to think. why are you crying because i raised my voice to get my point across, you weren't listening, you should've known better, you need to hear the truth. you need to get your act together, you're 16. you don't need to say things like that, you don't need to go there, you can tell them you can't go, you're only 16.
Dear dad,

in case you didn't know,
the moment you raise your voice,
I space off -
you can talk to me without an angry tone,you know.

Thanks.
All he does is shout... all I did is say sorry when he's done, without being able to recall the lecture he gave.

-just being honest
DON’T CALL YOURSELF A FATHER WHEN ALL YOU EVER DO IS DRINK
DON’T CALL YOURSELF A FATHER IF ALL YOU EVER DID TO ME WHAT POINT OUT MY FLAWS
DON’T CALL YOURSELF A FATHER WHEN YOU TREATED THE ONLY WOMAN IN MY LIFE LIKE *****
Don’t call yourself my father.
You didn’t raise me
You are not my father
You never were.
All the things I've wanted to say to my dad since he left, but always been to afraid to.
You can tell alot about a man by the way he treats his dog
*and my dad just beat ours for doing puppy things
Dad
You don't even deserve the title.

My fake smiles that took hours in plastic surgery
The hugs I give you just to feel like I'm one of your kids
You say I love you as if you meant it
"I'll take care of you" but you never did

The forgotten child.. The middle child
All in the same
I can trust no one
And you are to blame

I promise you.. I swear on it..
You make those seem like prepositions
Used so often that I don't even notice anymore
I loathe you, I forgot to mention

It's not only me you hurt
You've hurt my mother as well
Physically, emotionally, and financially
So with that said... Go to hell
I know he's my parent in all but... he does nothing, he's all *******. And he's only that way with me.
my other siblings and their mothers have no issue but I guess I was born into the curse.
I've been here before
sitting, waiting, wishing,
but for what, love from another
or just a longing for a real love
do I really need you in my life
or is it just a want
am I thinking too hard over this
or am I on the right path
should I be waiting here
waiting for some sign
a sign to tell me where to go
or what to see
or who to love
is it right for me to wish that you were here
to wish that for once you could see me
is it right to wish for you to truly show me how you feel
to show me that you'll be here for me
be here when I slip up
to show me that you'll be here to tell me its ok
to tell me you love me
as I sit here longing for comfort
the comfort I know I'm suppose to receive from you
I can't think of one time you've been here for me
you were always around but you never lived up to your title
you are suppose to carry me when I'm hurt
you are suppose to rescue me from the situations I get myself into
you are suppose to be the one guy I can trust
but I can't, I can't depend on you
I can't be sure you'll be here when I'm in trouble
I don't know if you'll always be here for me
my one wish more than anything is for you
for you to wake up and see what your missing
for you to realize why you are losing us
for you to see the pain you cause us
the pain that happens because of your action
it's not a physical pain that you cause it's emotional
it's the kind of pain that lingers there for years and years
the kind of pain that cause us to lash out at you
the kind of pain that makes us wish you weren't here
where in turn we truly want you to be here
but to be here in a completely different mind set to be here in love
to be here with a caring and trustworthy attitude
to show us not tell us you care
to use your actions to let us see you changed
your word means nothing if there is no difference in your actions
I say all this just to be left here
left here sitting, waiting, and wishing.
This poem is about my father who has always been around but never lived up to what a father should be.
This girl I know
She is just ... like a book.

Her cover is so beautiful
And yet ... forever changing looks.

But this girl's beauty
Is unlike any that you've seen.

It really comes from all those pages
Those pages in between.

Each page tells a story
Some of sorrow oh so sad.

But for every one of those that you read
You'll find one of better time's she's had.

This girl I know
She rules a realm that no one ever see's.

This girl will never show it to you
And she will never show it to me.

This girl is tough
And dauntless and strong.

This girl she sings
The most beautiful songs.

This girl will never let you see her cry.

This girl will never answer you why.

This girl she doesn't need wings to fly.

Because this girl ... She is the sky.

You will find her overhead
Every day and every night.

Her sun will warm the hardest heart
And her stars they shine so bright.

If you should ever catch her and open that book
You'd better read as fast as you can.

Standing still in any one place
Is never in her plans.

But, this girl I know isn't running from something
And it's not that she's some bird on a wire.

She isn't blindly running through time, you see
This girl I know ... She has a world to set on fire.
Written in the Fall of 2012 about a friend of mine that just means the world to me. I'm too shy, or whatever, to show it to her. With my chronic case of Charlie Brown Syndrome, I am forever in fear that I will be somehow misunderstood. I hope one day, if she ever see's it, that she realizes it is about her.

PLEASE, with all due respect, do NOT tell me to give it to her. If I haven't in 5 years ... I am never going to. That's just me. I PROMISE you that I am THEE most stubborn Aries that you will EVER encounter. My stubbornness has made my family and friends, quite often, call me "The Immovable Object".
Hope surges upward from your core and to the heart. It warms your blood as your heart crushes into itself twice every second and unbelievably, your mind starts to think of a million and one possibilities. Your hand tingles and finally, after what seemed like eons, you think you are feeling hope again. You start suppressing it out of reflex- an unconscious, uncontrollable action. You push it down, right back to the void it came from but its too late and your lips are curving upwards into a gentle smile. You anticipate euphoria -almost can feel it at the top of your fingertips and you finally let yourself believe and hope.

It comes crashing down without warning. For a second, you still smile because your mind could not process the disappointment yet. Then - hurt, sadness, shock - flits through your mind. You still hold on to your hope like a child who refuses to let go of candy. Your smile wavers. But just like grabbing onto handfuls of sand, hope will fall out through your tightly clasped fingers. You realised that your hold on hope is no longer and instead, it is replaced by cold, unforgiving reality.

Like an icy slap to your face, like an unexpected kick to the stomach, like a bite from a dog you have always love- that is how disappointment feels like.
my feelings are so poignant, i don't think i can ever express it adequately in words. but i tried.
Never thought i would cry over a girl
Never thought i should
Never thought i could
Never thought she would hurt me
Never thought she tear my heart out
Never thought i would take my blades back up to the bathroom
Never thought suicide would cross my mind again
Never thought that i was going to **** myself
Never thought i would be here again with my blades
Never thought i would cut again
Never thought i would overdose again
Its over
 Mar 2018 Joshua Michael
Jessy
I find peace in the rain
I find comfort in the lightning
I find relaxation in the thunder
The storm holds me tight
The humidity keeps me warm
The weather doesn’t let go

I feel at home
When there’s a thunderstorm
Because the weather mimics
What goes on in my head
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