I watched you from afar

though I couldn’t see you,

and I still wonder where you are,

a part of me sees you

gazing under the stars.



And dear,

even with all of the friction,

the manipulation and confusion,

even with all of the fear



I still hold you near.

There’s a part of me

that will not release you

or am I simply

still your captive my dear?

Center of the day begins to unfold

Already gone through the marshes and mixes

Alive & full,

Lick our lipses

Do what we can to get our fixes

Skin as oily

as Honeydew

You caught me in a full-on looptiloo

With grace
I see you pace
throughout the corridor,
concern lavished upon your face.
But it always comes back to me
and I get curious, what is it in you
that I see? That draws you to me?
At the end I understand it’s my
desperation
But in the beginning it feels like
magical procession.
It’s insights like these, I’d rather keep to myself,
frustrations rooted in
lack of respect for self,
kinder words for the reality-
a putrid, decaying necessity
of external validation,
your hands on me,
telling me everything’s ok.

Placing words into what you feel
Cause the layers of your core to peel
Whether it's  Anger that distraughts  you
or Confusion that betrays you
It's Anxiety that simmers within
The good angel seems to never win
It's the Sadness that overwhelms for no reason
and Loneliness seems to be it's closest cousin
Sometimes all of these things that are unseen
Seep out of the pores altogether, making it Mean
A scene never meant to be seen
The only Context that gives it most Meaning
Is putting the text on paper, so Rich, so Gleaming
It does its part to soothe the Heart
and transforms it intrinsically into Art.
It takes your inner bag of ****
and becomes the Number One Smash Hit.
Or you can keep it to yourself in private
To make your journal utterly vibrant
No way is Right, no way is Wrong
As long as you make it sing like a Song.

Diverted eyes
sticky skin,
she never wants to look back again.
Hushed mouth
clenched jaw,
most frightened face you ever saw.
Faded glory
in no hurry,
continues to wallow in her worry.
Lack of reason
personal treason
but what is life if you give it no meaning?

Constrained, I feel
Insane, everything
in Vain, my mind
being Trained,
just want to
escape the Pain.
The riplets of Time,
an everflowing Game,
nothing different,
always the Same,
a constant repetition,
Sweet Nothing is her Name.

Purple pen
Cursive handwriting
Voices
Laughter
Sadness
Joy
Binaries
Are what life is made of. Not too much in between. Completely addicted.
Or utterly sober.
Joyously happy & content
Or gray skys sad
Too much energy to sit down
Not enough energy to think
Hot as *****
Or cold as the titanic.
When will we be able to find something in the middle?
They made me take a medication to put me in the middle. Don’t know if it works. Because sometimes I don’t have any emotions at all. I’d be content with staring at the wall.