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 Sep 2018 John Stevens
Bella
I'm doing so good
so good
but I know it's just distractions
and what happens when the distractions run out
at what point is getting rid of the bad
by ignoring the bad
a bad thing?

I mean,
it seems good
until you think about it
and I think about it
it's all still there
I just kept tip toeing around triggers in the battlefield of my own mind
and I can't just do nothing
and I can't be alone in the dark

because then I'm not better anymore
and all of that hard work of ignoring and ignoring and distracting and ignoring just crumbles
it all goes to ****
and I'm left sobbing desperately so desperately

so tell me
which is better
being depressed all the time
or distracting myself from my own depression
tiptoeing around my own thoughts and dying a little every time I step on a creaky board

which one is better
 Sep 2018 John Stevens
Chiquita
The pain she bored was heavy to hold ;
It ate her mind but she never told,
To anyone she never shown;
She sat by herself and wondered why,
Life was unjust and made her cry
Heavy bags were evident to see,
That the pain she bore was not letting her sleep;
But she somehow seemed to cast a smile
Silently telling me she was alright
But in those glossy eyes I could see
The pain she bore was there indeed
My heart hurt to see her pain
Which she tried to hide again
So I held her close to let her know
That I'll be with her and never go.
 Sep 2018 John Stevens
Chiquita
She looked so happy that you can't tell
Under that smile was a hurricane;
She wore a mask that looked real to the eye;
But underneath it was the scars she hides;
Every pain she felt was hidden in her smile,
The more pain she felt the more she smiled ;
She laughed so loudly ,
That no one knew she was lonely;
She showed herself as whole,
Skillfully hiding the hole;
She never cried she never tried,
All she did was hide it and smile;
Her hurt was stronger than her smile ,
Her emptiness was deeper than her laugh,
She never moaned she never swore,
Cause she was strong and had hope
So all she did was smile.
Stay strong. Everything will be over soon
 Sep 2018 John Stevens
Chiquita
She was sad,
She needed someone who cared.
She went into her room
Just like every night
And held onto him
She cried her heart out
Though she never spoke
He could understand everything
He knew her better than anyone else
People would think she's crazy
But she knew better
She knew he knew
He'd been watching her from a child
Yet he never judged her
Teddy was always there for her.
People who hold their Teddy bears for comfort will understand this
✿⊰✲⊱✿
"Indeed. Well, I won't keep you. Seems like
you are rather hungry."
"All I had was breakfast and Pu'erh tea so I was
being good.  And I still am! I don't plan on
eating too much until the honoured guests
arrive." I smile.
"As do I. Enjoy your snacks. I'll bid the time
with more admiration for Paul's collection of art...
after saving your handmaids from Paul's relentless
flirting."
He points at Paul with a flushing Esshi and a
giggling Ainhana as I shake my head.
"As you will." I smile.

✿⊰✲⊱✿
King Omni, Fugue and Emeka are all
seated on one table laughing. I notice
King Edmund tucking a rose behind his
wife's ear; Queen Sarita and Jugnu sit
with Kim, Yidna and Sue all laughing,
Queen Robin and Fawn admire the ice
sculptures. True to his word, King Brandon
went to save Esshi from turning more deep
shades of red, playfully scolding Paul for
embarrassing her. We are all having a good
time until it is broken by the herald's cry,
"Queen Donna of Vesian! And her husband, King Dean!"
Final part!
Part 9 will be out tomorrow!
Just a few more chapters to go! ^-^
Hope you're all enjoying this as much as I am!
Lyn ***
..


Save from the hidden nests of birds,
it was the only one there...isolated,
like an isle...crested on the leveled
top of a gorge...its way down or up
was through a hand-carved series of
steps on its *****...at its front was a
curved gorge......one would think,
it was trying to cross over

the cottage was small, weather-beaten,
desolate......its wooden walls seemed to
have shrunk...its faded colors proclaimed
its age...its having survived past storms....
from its window, the stream was seen,
and heard, flowing on and on between
these two precipitous valleys.

light came from the sun...and moon,
music was provided by the murmurs of
the forceful wind, the continuous flow of
water on the stream, the stirring of the leaves,
the crackling of branches and twigs, the birds'
singing in the spring...the pounding of heavy
rains on its roof...and countless other hymns
of nature......the dweller had heard them all...

beneath a lonely moon glow,
when nights were cold,
there hovered low 'pon its aged roof,
rounds of layered fog...like a series of
steps....like a stairway to the sky...
fog slyly crept, and wilfully shrouded
the cottage.....it vanished from view,
the two gorges and the stream, hushed,
in the dark loneliness of that secluded
spot......their vulnerabilities, trapped
inside....misshapen silhouettes...

in light and in dark,
the whistles of nearing and departing
boats....were wailing, haunting calls,
piercing the peaceful calm of the valleys, or,
maybe, the stilled complacence of the cottage,
or...of the one living in that lonely cottage,
...lost, or gone astray, now weary and worn,
willing to be found...longing to be reunited
.......with the light and warmth of love...

the cottage, the gorges, and the stream
would be loneliest,
without the cottage dweller...


Sally

© Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
August 27th, 2018
"...no man is an island..."
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