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In eighty four,
when I was eighteen.
I joined the Navy,
so proud and so lean.

First day aboard,
my ship I laid footed.
An accident happened,
this guy was beheaded.

I witnessed it all,
a faint scream, now gone.
Blood everywhere,
I was shocked in stone.

Life is but different,
floating on the sea.
But darkness still lurks,
coming out of the deep.

They called it traditions,
it brought back my past.
The name callings, the torture,
How long will it last?

Hours turns days,
days into years.
Counting my time,
holding back tears.

We had risen the Shield,
another accident happened,
lost twenty one shipmates,
Never forgotten.

At one in the 'morn,
the ferry went down.
In the Bay of Haifa,
twenty one did drown.

They finally came home,
in a flag draped box,
Hearing taps on corner,
Home but not lost.

My demons continue,
to many deaf ear,
bring sadness and sorrow,
bring heartache and tears

One final vision,
that I can not erase.
my friend screamed horror
and the look on his face

The wheel of an aircraft,
rolled over his femur,
crushing and smashing,
Lost in a fever.

Blood and bones,
I'll never forget.
His piercing screams,
still gets me upset.

Twenty long years,
I lived on the sea.
Lost many great men
and their pain is still with me.

Onto my next step,
But what do I do?
These demons keep chasing me,
Can I **** them off too?
Part 3 of 4
Anxieties fear agnostic fronts seeking a plethora of suicidal nightmares.

Drowning in the pools of  blood of the sacrificial lambs.

The reaper depraves our body of our soul;
leaving us in a pile of dark ashen earth.

That pile is blown away by the dusts of time, he crept in and we are no more.
This is my story,
so it will be.
Open your eyes,
but don't cry for me.

Started at five,
dad home from work
I had to grab him a beer,
oh, what a ****!!

Everyday he came home,
more drinks would follow,
off came the belt,
making me hollow.

Yelling commenced,
my mom on the floor,
"What did you say,
You ******* *****! !"

My screams were but silent,
in my own empty head.
Get out of this place,
wished I was dead.

Many years did follow,
of abuse on the walls,
Pounding and slamming,
No crying no calls

I never did laugh
and never did smile.
Just went to school,
getting by for awhile.
This is Part 1 of  4!!
You will see my demons and why I write!!
Dear Depression,
It has been about 6 months of being away from you
I would breathe a sigh of relief
but I am afraid to let down my guard
If I give you an inch you would take ten miles
You are like a lion seeking to devour me
You are like a cobra waiting to strike
They say that misery loves company
You hang around with doubt and despair
You are close chums with Anxiety who I know to well
I have know you since I was a kid
Your connection to me grew stronger in my teens
I had a few good years apart from you here and there
Then all of a sudden you were back with all your bad friends
  and my life fell apart again even worse than before
  You robbed me in regards to my relationships with family and
  friends
  Sending me into isolation
  I have to make it clear I don't want you around
  I have had a taste of happiness and peace without you
  I don't want to give it up
  I will be better without you
  I will be in the company of family and friends and with other
  people who understand
  I will be the one wearing a genuine smile
  I will be the one encouraging others when they have a bad day
  I will be a shoulder to cry on for my friends and family or for any one else who needs a friend
I will be the one who is grateful for each new day
I will be the one who is hopeful that I will part ways with you forever
I am the one who is finally pursuing my hopes and dreams
That is why I need to be away from you and all your friends
Goodbye depression I will not cry, I need to part from you
In favor of an improved life
I know at times I will have bad days but I had worse ones with you
   Sincerely,
    Ann
Hands where
They are not welcome
Against flesh too young
And too willing to please
Pushing to break the last barrier
That separates
Innocence
From exploitation
Lips parting what should be closed
Taking what is not theirs
And can never be given back
A body demands
As the other yields
Bending to its will
And calling it "love"
I went to school,
wanting to learn.
Instead of friends,
I just got burned.

I wasn't the fastest,
or even the smartest.
I sat in the back,
next to the kid with the glasses

First came the names,
I thought was a joke.
but the mood all changed,
internally I choked.

When the games were played,
I was picked last,
standing by myself,
it was always a laugh.

Names grew meaner,
as tall as the lad,
the hits came with it
I knew it was bad.

Black followed blue,
on covered up arms.
Didn't show my teacher,
I was afraid of the harms.

I had few friends
and they didn't even know.
The torture, that beset me,
hidden down below.

Each day, home from school,
I cried in my room.
Isolated and degraded,
Embedded in my tomb.

No one would be believe,
No teacher or a friend,
Had no where to turn to,
Felt like the end.

Teen life was a disaster,
living in solitary.
Wanted to change my life,
I joined the military.
Part 2 of 4.
On rainy days
I see the gloom
Close the curtain
Here comes the doom.

Look out the window
Drops on the pane
Pulled me away
Feeling the strain

Yelling and screaming
Covering my ears
Away in my room
Distant from fears

Make it go away
Squeezing my pillows
Don't want to hear it
The argument continues

The silence is brutal
I hear no more falls
No slapping or cursing
The final curtain call
When parents argue..how I felt!!
I stacked up these bricks,
to build this wall.
You knocked it down,
to see it fall.

Higher and higher,
brick by brick.
Mortared and solid,
six feet thick.

Your words were explosive,
like gasoline.
Burning me inside,
feeling so mean.

All day and all night,
the barrage never stopped.
Feeling so guilty,
my senses were cropped.

I stood there and took it,
while you were so wild.
I was a boy,
but you were the child.
Pierce the veil or pierce the heart

Close the wound or let it bleed it out

Stand together or stand alone

Be strong or be afraid

Fight the war or raise the white flag

Lets be friends or just walk away

Choices
We make many choices in life... but do we make the right ones?
 Oct 2014 Jennifer Collins
alasia
Galaxies in your lips
And stars in your eyes
You're a piece of outer space
And on Earth you shine.
A celestial being
With a poisonous kiss
But dying at your hand
Is a fate I'll accept
#Margin poetry
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