It was like removing an arm
Severing flesh and bone,
Sawing down through ligament
Until the muscles shown.

I felt the weakness pull me down;
A riptide of lost blood.
Swirling in the undertow,
Yet hiding from the flood.

Alone, the other arm groped
The space its twin had been,
Fingers only closed on air
Around the phantom limb.

Gone and yet still here with me
In everything I do.
Feel as though it never left
Though in my heart, I knew.

And though this piece, this part of me
Is never coming back
I feel it still, so tangibly
As I stay the track.

A life is made of moments
Of both good and bad
 
In your present,
On your lips

All our conversations linger

You will not look at me.

Not even look at the brave face I practiced
Not look at the smile I painted
Not at the dry eyes I skillfully mastered

This mask I made for you to see
But still, you will not look at me
As if my fakeness, will mutilate the image you have of me

*I can tell you, it will.

Peering through a wasp's wing
at shadows on the wall
Hear the whispered whimper
echo down the hall
Glass thump of bone and feathers
against the bedroom window
Motes of darkness floating
to air a moldy winnow
Creak of standing knees
rise in opioid haze
To wander past the shadows
and sniff of death's bouquets.

r ~ 6/11/14

I want to be a tree.
All that they do
       is love.
They allow the cold weather to **** their leaves,
yet they shed them gracefully,
and peacefully wait through the winter
rooted in the ground with the knowledge
that again one day, they will be warmed by the sun
and unfurl tiny leaves
again.
    And again.
        And again.

and even hold the body of a soul as they look up at you in disbelief and say
"Look what trees can do"

The world I live in now
With you
Will be the world I live in for the rest of my life*

And then I woke up to reality.

the tears fell
onto her feathers
in iridescent moonlight
after she broke her own
wing attempting
to fly away from
home.

I rolled you up
Your insight, your beauty
And all the love you had to offer me
I threaded you with American Spirit
And tucked you in an origami wrap

From grass and earth...
To clouds
One hit
And the world went silent