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 Dec 2015 Jacob Traver
JR Rhine
Privilege: written on my skin
I swear I'm on your side
Though I lock my doors when you pass by.
Try to ignore what's within
The enraged masses to whom I spoke
Though I'm guilty of what's battered down their throats.
Get me by the *****
The phallicist marvelously displayed in power
Squeeze out every drop of lust; watch me shrivel and cower.
Place me within these walls
Walking along your glass ceiling as I dream
Fondling your ******* on behalf of the company.
I'm no passerby
Though I weave you on the street like a fleeting ghost
I serve like you're a growth and I'm the lucky host.
It's a **** good lie
To myself; believe I'm not guilty too
Of all the hate and greed that's crippling you.
As a middle class, Christian, heterosexual, American, white male, My privilege sickens me, as is the deep satisfaction in my comfort sickening. But what can I do about it? I supposed the first step is to acknowledge it in depth and breadth.
 Dec 2015 Jacob Traver
JR Rhine
Nervously fidgeting with ring unaccustomed to left ring finger.
"It's a purity ring."
"But I'm pretty sure she gave you a *******."
No, I lied.

Remember the inside of her mouth as
warm and wet;
passionate gnashing of tongue
weeping of lust
eyes widened to this
novel sensation shocking
a pubescent body.
The world melted away
cares and woes cast in abeyance
watching her perform eyes closed
like an artist.
Entranced
the cry of love's voice silenced
with carnal desire drowning the sound,
a warm sticky tidal wave
sending sensation tingling down the spine
kicking through feet to the toes
gasps getting shorter, quicker.
My God
A car crash
What to come next
Feeling a pressure build like a flood to the dam
Concrete cracks
Levee breaks
A monument of celibacy obliterates
Dissolution into oblivion

then release.

Tension carried
slipped and you
gazed upon her
like a goddess
unlocking the eternal secret
of Man.
She sheepishly looked away
You worshiped where she lay.

Years later, nervously fidgeting with ring
well worn onto bony finger.
"You remember the warmth of naked torsos
furiously kneading like dough,
juxtaposing the harshness of denim crotches
grinding vivaciously
hoping to catch the spark to a fire."
A fire alright,
burning inside(s)
with the unlit match ready to ignite
between quivering thighs.
You had the key
undid the button of chastity
fingers slithering down
through ground fertile tillage
to a hidden chamber.
The guest pirouettes
but keeps her on her toes
in and out,
rapturous gyration.
Watching the air leave her mouth
head tilted back
til washed away
atop a sigh
that pleases an ear
to this day.
Ring feels a little looser than I remember.

Sitting atop a grassy hill,
her head on your shoulder,
watching the sunset for hours.
"Do you remember the taste of her ****** in your mouth?
I bet you can recall the path from
her kiss to her cheek,
jawline to the nape of her neck,
glissade from retreating lips
dragged across smooth skin
saliva trail moist
sliding down ever so tranquil,
velvety skin ever so alive.
Weaving through the meniscus of her breast,
expertly with eyes closed
(you've done this before, it's almost a chore),
fingers tight around waist grip a little fiercer
mouth digs in deeper.
Corner of lips communion with
goose-bumped areola;
mouth dances 'round like a native ritual,
til you pounce on the prey
proceeding with the furious primal *******
of a ravenous child,
only charged with the lustful energy of
an insatiable beast in euphoric heat.
Did your tongue rotate clockwise or counterclockwise?

Snapped back to the present,
eyes had burned holes in the fading sun
a million times over.
She had looked up at you curiously.
A weak smile in return.
You glanced down wearily at the ring that matched hers.
I still tell myself I'm a ******, having never had Vaginal/Penal ***, but at the same time I feel I have robbed myself of that purity. Sometimes I feel filthy. Always these memories arouse desire and simultaneously regret. I think its the darkness trying to get its hold on me. It's in moments like these that I feel the filthiest. Perhaps I may be able to purge by casting these demons onto the page.
 Nov 2015 Jacob Traver
JR Rhine
It felt
Routine
The way you kissed me.
Happy Anniversary.
A spell
Chlorine
Kept pure when I'm filthy.
Celebrated monthly.
Fare well
Pristine
A dose of euphoric fancy.
Sinless fantasy.
The belt
Fastening
A drive's home, song's playing.
Dazed wondering.
I fell
Preying
Eyes danced like a gypsy.
Lost remembering.
Late thoughts driving home leaving a lover's house. A relationship I know is no good.
 Nov 2015 Jacob Traver
JR Rhine
The left wing and the right
Well you need both to fly
This bird of black and white
Tearfully looks up to the sky
And you know why.
I'm not very political, but at some point I think I will be, because things seem pretty bad.
 Nov 2015 Jacob Traver
JR Rhine
Hope
 Nov 2015 Jacob Traver
JR Rhine
I hold onto my prayers
Like freed baby teeth under a child’s pillow
We hope to wake up to an answer
A treasure to call our own.
The difference being my hope is not a fantasy
This is reality
And I trust in this
Whether I wake up
Lavishing
Or suffering.
I sing praises in your name.
maybe in 10 years we'll bump into each other

we'll catch up on all the time we let run away

and how desperately in love I was with you

and we can laugh about how we broke eachothers hearts.
though something tells me you'll be around for a while
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