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Mar 2016 · 655
Headline
Jacob Traver Mar 2016
We all look the
Same
When all the lights are
Out --
Headline -- evidence --
"Two Big Dark Looking Men" --
Objection --
Why Big?
Dark?
Men?
Overruled --
We all take on
Difference
When all the lights are
Out.
Inspired by Machinal by Sophie Treadwell
Mar 2016 · 1.2k
Rising
Jacob Traver Mar 2016
I rose --
Sick on an Easter morning
To my 9:40 alarm
To another mourning
Of another alarming
Attack on lives
And I live on
Feeling secure.

I rose --
Sick on a Maryland morning
A week after Italy
Three days after Ireland
Being closer to Pakistan
Being too close to Belgium
And all I felt was a pat down
And more secure.

He rose --
For the mourning
And on this morning
I can't help feeling
Helpless,
Confused,
Sick.
But He will make secure.
Prayer for Pakistan, Belgium, and the nations around the world. He lives and God bless.
Mar 2016 · 854
A Second Time
Jacob Traver Mar 2016
What is harder than
Walking away again
Knowing all and then
Already
Feeling
Distance.
For two more months --
A second time.
Jacob Traver Jan 2016
Yearly, yearly I knew you dearly --
Watched you blossom and sincerely
Hope to be more than merely
A seed without the sun.

Yearly, yearly I held you dearly --
Sown deep in the ground and growing nearly
As stretched as the sky and you now clearly
A seed within the sun.

Yearly, yearly I loved you dearly --
Nurtured as nurtured rarely austerely
Intertwined as death lets us be
Two seeds beneath the sun.
Jan 2016 · 782
Snow Falls
Jacob Traver Jan 2016
Through the eight-paned stained glass window,
I sit and stare and ponder the snow as though
I am a single solitary flake falling slow with no
Worry of leaving the sky.

I float on air carried and ferried by wind flow
As I gently come to lie on the blank covered ground low
Below the sky stretching grey over white as a plateau
Of heavy clouds on high.
Oct 2015 · 946
Poetry
Jacob Traver Oct 2015
Simply writing for fun?
Or developing skill?
Will I one day be done
Or is poetry will?

I can be it. I know it.
"You're not a real poet."
Oct 2015 · 1.3k
Distracted
Jacob Traver Oct 2015
Distract the heart with other emotions than that of
Love.
Distract the heart with excitement, with laughter, with joy.
Distract it with memories of being a little girl and boy.
Distract it with conversations of intellectual thought,
Though sometimes distract it with those that are not.
Keep it enthralled with the day's many moments.
Enthrall it with what options that day were not chosen.
If sadness does come, welcome it to see
How deeply I do care for thee.
My dearest friend, the only
Whom I write of,
My heart is now
Distracted
Completely
With
Love
Jacob Traver Oct 2015
A right at the end of the tunnel --
I am not yet free.
The rocky path is dark and long
And slowly nearing I see --

A freedom at the end of the tunnel --
I know I'll escape soon.
It is a constant and pressing struggle --
Though I'll come out to the moon.

A hope at the end of the tunnel --
I feel it -- I know it -- It comes.
It is hard to grasp, though now I see
My journey no longer is numb.

A right at the end of the tunnel --
It's not freedom nor is it hope.
But it's a right at the end of the tunnel --
Not a left -- Not to wrong -- But to cope.
Sep 2015 · 53.7k
Heavy Eyes
Jacob Traver Sep 2015
Worn
They -- fall
Slowing down sight
I draw closer and closer
Then --
Flutter to stay awake and realize I'm not ready for this
I'm not yet able to enter that dark place of meditation
-- But
I feel it coming more swiftly
My heavy eyes falling
With every
Last shutter
Closer
Closer
No -- yes
Sleep.
Sep 2015 · 796
Simply Inquiring
Jacob Traver Sep 2015
There are mornings I hurt --
And there isn't a remedy.
But to my subtleties you're alert,
You see the pain beneath me.

"Are you okay?" simply inquiring --
I don't know what to respond --
I lie here, in truth, admiring
You of whom I've grown so fond.

Must the moment end?
Must we so soon move on?
Knowing what comes 'round the bend --
Must we face the dawn?

To which there can be no answer,
To which is attempted and tried,
Life is not well-mannered --
We are not forever beside.

"Are you okay?" -- simply inquiring --
"I'll be fine." I say.
I will from afar ever be admiring
You -- when comes that day.
Sep 2015 · 770
Shattered
Jacob Traver Sep 2015
The mirror is shattered.
So without any reflection on the misuse of this image,
The shards will be incarnadine.

The bleeding will ne'er end.
It drips drops of thick sick thoughts,
Smothering the scattered shards.

A sight bred for horror.
Speckled endlessly, sorting sorrows
Into uniquely spattered shards.

The fulmination of self-imitation.
No longer are little words taken lightly.
You are now obscure shards.

I, too, once saw clearly.
Mirrors are often (overly) used as metaphors, similes, and symbols- what was set out to satirize and comment on the over use of the mirror imagery became one of my most cherished poems. Even though this was written awhile ago, I haven't published it until now and can only hope that the meaning comes across. But for you - poets of the mirror image - enjoy.
Aug 2015 · 639
Sleep
Jacob Traver Aug 2015
Needless to say
I'm a disaster.
Peaceful breathing
Next to my
Endless seething
About the constant feelings
That confuse me
And enslave me
And ravage me
And leave me craving an escape.
Your peaceful breathing
How it ever so slowly calms my raving mind.
I can't sleep.
You're lying next to me and I am
Helpless, needy, and hurt.
Helpless - though your attempts to calm me are caring and sweet, I can't help you sleep by staying awake.
Needy - I desire your company at 3AM when the world should be silent and yet here I sit wanting your attention.
Hurt - I can't hurt myself anymore than to know I am hurting you.
I love you.
I lie here and weep.
I need what you have,
Your peaceful sleep.
Aug 2015 · 1.5k
Insecurity
Jacob Traver Aug 2015
Sometimes I just want to see another way of being me
Another way of being free of all insecurity
But there are times when that is hard
And there are wounds that have been scarred
And now I'm trying to get by with what in my life has been marred.

I keep trying to escape all of the lies that cover my eyes like tape; such a disguise, I can let out only sighs.  
It's hiding all of my fears deep inside all of my tears that never flow, I don't let them go, so I keep moving, I reap what I sow.
So no, I'm not fine, I walk a fine line between peace and what is at least my foreseeable destruction.
And I know I'm laughing and requesting you leave it alone but what is worse is the curse of knowing I am and will always be unknown.

All weight will drop off my shoulders, but before, it gets much colder,
So cover me in this vacancy of emotion and make me bolder.
Make me able to stand under the pressure of the hand that smacks my hand and tells me "Man, it's just a phase." which does the opposite of
Raising me up and making me new, so if you only knew that what you do makes me rue the so-called man that I've become and now
The future man that I will be will never rise up from his knee
So I'm left stirring in this mind of never-ending insecurity.
Style and Rhythm inspired by Twenty One Pilots
Aug 2015 · 1.4k
The River
Jacob Traver Aug 2015
I walk
Nightly
To the place where I find
Silence.
Silencing the world
Silencing the mind
Silencing all that creates
Havoc.
I create havoc.
Day after day
I walk
Wondering when I will
Finally
Be able to find that
Silence.
But day after day I am
Silenced.
That is why
Nightly
I walk
To the place where I find
Silence.
To the River
Where drowns the havoc
Around me.
Where flow the souls of the silent.
To the River
Where I find
Silence.
Aug 2015 · 1.4k
The Radical
Jacob Traver Aug 2015
Something about him never stops.
Embodying a constant pursuit of life goals,
Impacting lives while truly living his,
Being the beacon that sends the light out.

He stands at least a head taller than everyone around him.
Not because of his physical height, simply because he
Carries himself with such an air of confidence and humility
That we all like him, desire to be like him, need to be him.

Yet what The Radical does not show is what tears him down on the inside.
He is exhausted. He is worn. He is anxious of what the masses think of him
When he stands (a head taller) and is expected to lead.
Nothing outwardly bothers him, yet inwardly everything hurts him.

The Radical changes the world around him while the world changes him.
Aug 2015 · 488
As Now We Are
Jacob Traver Aug 2015
I used to think there was a common lure,
A common attraction to the love we built.
But every relationship begins to crumble
As now we are.

If I could simply explain that all of your
Words cut me. All of your flowered colors wilt.
But I simply cannot and I fall into mumble
As now we are.

What was clear between us begins to blur.
There is grey area, no clear sign is felt.
But how is it we never used to stumble
As now we are.

You were impossible to blame
And as was I.
But the Moor left life due to outwardly shame

And the lure into our deceit was too great
And what we had built no longer held meaning
And the stumble was hardened by the foundation
And it was no more,
As now we are.
May 2015 · 1.3k
Dream
Jacob Traver May 2015
If dreamed any harder
Vivid light would fade away
Under the ecstasy of color
That would illuminate the day
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Storm
Jacob Traver Apr 2015
Quickly come
Harshly rushing in
Flurries of inklings
Blow in through my pen

Slowly come
The unique flakes I know
Wisp around in my head
Creating drifts of snow

Forever come
These blizzards, suffice
Enticing my hand
To form sculptures of ice.
Dec 2014 · 645
Tense
Jacob Traver Dec 2014
Always there are
Your little lips that lightly lie upon my own
Delivering an expression in monotone phrase
That softly implies "I love you"
But expresses
Distance

Always there are
The mornings after making midnight memories
Believing that connection was made between
You and I
But knowing
Resistance

Always there are
The times that it took ten tiny glances
Into the depths of each other's intense glassy eyes
To feel anything
But knowing
Persistence

Always there are
The seconds that seldom slowly sifted like sand
In the hourglass that ran out...
Ending our time
But realizing
Existence
Working title. Just wanted to get the poem out there...
Dec 2014 · 715
Phonograph
Jacob Traver Dec 2014
Never ending in my head
Notes I love and simultaneously dread
Dancing from ears to mind to tongue
Leaving not a single song unsung

Around and 'round the classy tune
Convinced I am the happiest loon
By this art that does consume me
Playing my heartstrings constantly
Nov 2014 · 744
A Simple Word
Jacob Traver Nov 2014
Live by our actions
They'll see who we are
But when they're never askin'
Who's gonna raise the bar?

They'll see our good?
An attempt, I'll admit
But you're foolin' yourself
You're nothin' but a hypocrite.

What makes us better?
"Holier than thou"?
We've never been loud
So go on, take your vow.

Actions speak louder than words
Except when those actions don't speak
So give those motions a voice
And be there for those who seek.
Nov 2014 · 787
May
Jacob Traver Nov 2014
May
There quiet you lay
Body cold as wintered day
Hurting in silence
Subject to violence
Waiting for the coming of May.
Nov 2014 · 878
Dishearten My Fear
Jacob Traver Nov 2014
The time is too late
Flee from me hate
I now open the gate
The time is too late

It's already begun
Radiant is the sun
I now cease to run
It's already begun

Dishearten my fear
Falls not my tear
For you, my dear,
Dishearten my fear
Nov 2014 · 853
Nine
Jacob Traver Nov 2014
I wish I had
Nine
Reasons to give
As to why
You
Capture my gaze
Yet I'm missing
One
Reason to live
So why would
You
Lengthen my days
Nov 2014 · 743
Little
Jacob Traver Nov 2014
Growing slowly in my mind
Little traces of lines I find
Lines drawing me ever closer to you
My longing desire I can never pursue
May 2014 · 1.1k
Expression
Jacob Traver May 2014
Never do I laugh at you
With intention to tear apart.
Only would I laugh with who
Forever holds my heart.
Day 4 - To You
May 2014 · 3.5k
Coastline
Jacob Traver May 2014
The coastline I walk, I walk not alone.
Solitary strolls, I do not condone.
I'd rather walk, hand in hand,
With you my love, upon the sand.

The pier we see reaching out
Into the ocean, gives no doubt
Of our love's walk off into the sea
Where we drown in the depths of our eternity.

Let not the waves disrupt our affection.
Wake in the comfort of our perfection.
Though gulls will call and sandcastles fall,
You will remain my all in all.
Day 3 - To You
May 2014 · 1.0k
Smiling
Jacob Traver May 2014
I smile when the wind blows upon your face
And how you slightly laugh as it does.
I care for you as a rose within a pastel vase
And run with you from the bee's buzz.

We live free of burdens until the day that we marry
And then, will we test our love.
It will last; for you I will forever carry
Past the line where we've both had enough.

Nothing will break my eternal love for you.
The vase which holds you is my heart.
I'll be here; waiting for the only one who
Captures my being. Let us never part.
Day 2 - To You
May 2014 · 6.9k
Position
Jacob Traver May 2014
Harken ye temptious ear
To this scandalous tale
Of the indebted lovely Lady
Sorrowfully saying "For Sale."
May 2014 · 1.4k
Unforeseen
Jacob Traver May 2014
Contain the wind and darken the Sun
Dim the stars and let Havoc run.
Let Havoc run the world once glad
And thieve the joy that we once had.

Let Summers scorch the dying soot
And Autumns grow darker than the dirt under foot.
Let Winters cover the dead with fierce cold
And let Spring's regeneration never be told.

Harken pain and mourn the slain.
Let cries fill the skies and drive thee insane.
Never smile lest it be brightly seen
And thou be known as Evil's Unforeseen.
May 2014 · 1.7k
Ropes
Jacob Traver May 2014
Show me how
To continue the climb
Despite the burns
That sear my hands.
May 2014 · 2.1k
Charlie Brown
Jacob Traver May 2014
The crooked stripe across your shirt
Matches the frown that shows your hurt.
But the yellow brightly shines above.
Your slight, thin smile makes all feel love.
May 2014 · 1.2k
The Goomsler
Jacob Traver May 2014
Around the corner the Goomsler stalks
Never he worries, Never he talks.
Always he follows, Always he's there.
Around the corner, the Goomsler stares.
May 2014 · 1.0k
Waterfalls
Jacob Traver May 2014
Water falls over the chasm that holds eternity.
It is the thin wall that separates us from falling
Into the chasm together. We are chasing the eternity that lies at the bottom,
Where all the world no longer matters and all that remains is our joy and love.
Then can we simply be.
Day 1 - To You
May 2014 · 600
Alone
Jacob Traver May 2014
Little you know of the life that once was
Before the breaking of light. The soft sphere
Of the broken formed from the falling tear
Of your beloved, your forbidden cause.
All of our past came to this halting pause
When in my eyes, we became vain and clear.
Nothing was real! Now take heed in your ear!
I never sought to leave. You were my all
In all. In all I did, I thought of you.
Intended not our love, now gone, to fall
Like it did. And now every lone soul,
Forsaken as mine, welcomes me as one
Who knows the heartbreak’s swiftly passing role.
Alone you left me. Alone you remain.
Mar 2014 · 613
Jezebel - A Villanelle
Jacob Traver Mar 2014
Why dost thou hate me for I did thee no wrong?
Our love once strong you now swiftly flee
Thus I bid thee farewell with this harrowing song.

I would have searched for thee among the throng.
There was nothing that could keep my heart from thee.
Why dost thou hate me for I did thee no wrong?

Thy voice always lovely, Thy beauty remains strong,
But your lips dripped with lies which I could not see.
Thus I bid thee farewell with this harrowing song.

How sweetly thou carried me gently along,
Only to shun my steadfast loving plea
Why dost thou hate me for I did thee no wrong?

Hence the pain in my soul you constantly prolong
And I despise thee and my agony is set free
Thus I bid thee farewell with this harrowing song!

And to whom’s passion thou now belong,
She is your Jezebel. To you, I could not see
Why dost thou hate me for I did thee no wrong?
Thus I bid thee farewell with this harrowing song.
Jan 2014 · 1.4k
The Lonely One
Jacob Traver Jan 2014
Have you heard of the great Klapi?
Who's wings magnificent help him fly,
Who stalked the village and made that his feat,
With a loathing heart that contained his heat.

Every day he prowled the trees
And waited for the King's decrees
Then he'd take flight and soar overhead
And force the villagers to flee in dread.

Until one day, he felt quite off
And feared he was becoming soft.
His fear was confirmed when in the wild,
The beast, the monster, met a child.

"Come play with me" the child invited
And upon the dragon, the child alighted.
Somehow the beast felt happy, at last!
And took off flying very fast.

The child gripped to the dragon's mane.
The monster finally felt humane.
And every day they'd play 'til night,
And the Klapi was filled with sheer delight.

The beast gave up his violent ways
And lived for love throughout his days.
The child grew throughout the years
And never had any fears.

Then one day the child so tan,
Suddenly found he was a man!
And as all men were to do their best
To **** a beast, that was the quest.

The test of manhood, his calling hour.
The rise or fall of his life's tower.
Upon this task, his future rested.
His way of life would soon be tested.

The man approached his friend, the Klapi,
A look of grief deep in his eye.
The beast felt his friend's heavy heart
For he knew now, that they must part.

With many tears and moments shared
Between the two who deeply cared
More for the other than pleasing men,
Sharing the bond that goes far beyond our ken.

A man grew old and racked his mind
For a glimpse of the friend he could not find.
So he imagined a story, an adventure, a lie…
Of youth, of fun, and of the great Klapi.
Jan 2014 · 2.0k
His Birth
Jacob Traver Jan 2014
I fell from the stars that night
I feared the clouded dark sky
And severed all ties with my world
I collapsed from within
And cried

A Birth called forth my fear
Brought about worry, my tears
For five long months it had built within
Until it happened and I fell to the ground
And cried

An excuse to begin closing my windows
Yet no blame can I place on him
Inwardly broken and frightened of the unknown
That weary cool night, my brother was born,
I cried

No control had been placed in my hands
No one had asked me what I wanted
My God simply had different plans
For my family, for his birth, for when
I cried

Plans that would prove greater than I could imagine
For a boy to show us all what life truly is
To prove that love is more powerful than sin
To teach us what it really means
To cry

That night was the foundation of following feats
My brother would breathe and walk,
His mind would prove stronger than possible
The miracle of our home caused us all
To cry

Despite the distress caused by his birth
In time I grew stronger in mind and in heart
For that night I knew that everyday I’d see his face
And realize his joy, his mind, his life. And I’d smile
And cry.
Dedicated to my younger brother with HPE.
Dec 2013 · 816
Hope
Jacob Traver Dec 2013
'
Night engulfs
But do not fear
Light breaks through
Every falling tear
'
Dec 2013 · 9.9k
Stress
Jacob Traver Dec 2013
Stress overpowers
My everyday thinking.
I appear to be afloat
But secretly, I'm sinking.
Dec 2013 · 6.4k
To Paint
Jacob Traver Dec 2013
Across an ocean of canvas white
A stroke of beauty comes to light
The patterns even, contrast, and fair
Complexity in the mind created with care

Do not allow a single smear
To blotch the canvas and make unclear
What blossoms made with hand and mind
What intricacies you will find

A root of commons grown within
of Artist and Gazer's ken
Now engrossed with personal thought
Through paintings on canvas, connection is sought.
Dec 2013 · 906
Poetry
Jacob Traver Dec 2013
Simple expression
I am free
Genuine music
Critical of me
Created with words/phrases chosen from descriptions of poetry.
Dec 2013 · 4.7k
My Princess
Jacob Traver Dec 2013
Beauty, lovely, my young friend
Your name brings joy to no end
My Princess, know my love is unending
My brokenness you are mending

The one I always long to see
With no one else I'd rather be
My Princess, your heart is my gold
Let your hand fill mine, the mold.

Forever to know you, Forever as mine
To let love grow as a flourishing vine
My Princess, love me, as I love you.
For a greater love, I never knew.
Dec 2013 · 1.8k
Tapestry
Jacob Traver Dec 2013
Complex as the universe this universal ache
My thoughts, my life does it overtake.
How deep the pain caused in troubled outside mind
How lost… the love I cannot find.

What longing and desire I have for love
Yet anger - hatred like a falling dove
Passion for both good and evil
Does no good, sees no evil.

The sun does rise therefore light can flee
From its dark captivity that repeatedly traps me
In this heavy heart that tortures my soul
And never is content, never full.

Why must I feel empty when I understand
The trap of the heart hiding beneath the sand,
The sand of lies, the sand of promises,
The sand of betrayal through wrenching kisses…

I walk alone…

No one lover can ever comprehend
The love I found, lost, and could not defend.
I drown off the shore of the gleaming sand
Catching glimpses… but not feeling the warmth in my hand.

Does no good, sees no evil.
- Love - a complete upheaval
I walk alone, by choice, my own
Love is a tapestry; sewn, torn, sewn…

I walk alone…
Sewn, torn, sewn...
Dec 2013 · 582
Breather
Jacob Traver Dec 2013
AND now to smile!
Forget the sorrow,
Laugh with me for awhile
And we'll wait on tomorrow.
Dec 2013 · 667
There
Jacob Traver Dec 2013
Death was behind us
Eternity ahead
Living to whisper
Words unsaid

Drifting to drift
No goal in mind
Until certain provoking
I unhappily find

When one is dead
With one frightening goal
The living should dread
Or pay the toll

The toll beyond
What any can bear
A constant haunting
Silently lurking there
Nov 2013 · 1.3k
Life
Jacob Traver Nov 2013
Ponder life
Free of strife
No scars of knife
Ponder life

Would no strife be good?
If all grief asked "should
We leave humans? We could. Leave them no weight, no hood."

"What lessons would they learn?
For what pleasures would they yearn?"
"If we , grief, held no concern
For grieving humans in their turn."

So ponder life
Free of strife
'Twould not be good
To never wear the hood
Of worry and concern
For that is from which
We truly learn.
Nov 2013 · 833
Heart
Jacob Traver Nov 2013
I remember the hope you once had
When you knew happiness as a lad
But the clock ticking
The attacks kept knicking
Away at your heart once glad

Something shattered the person you were
Something initiated your life into blur
I can not know
How deep the sorrow
That your heart seems to lure

Where O light did you go?
Why this baggage must I tow?
To help you find
Your own self and mind
That your heart has long let go.

We, hand in hand, must not part
The binding of self is an art
You are me
The one who can't see
How lost, how desperate, our heart
Jun 2013 · 1.3k
Failures
Jacob Traver Jun 2013
I fail; still you succeed
I cry; still you smile
I stumble; still you stand
I crumble; still you're strong

Where my failures fall into a darkened hole
They hide and grow and wreck my soul
They torture me until I am no more
And like a lion they fiercely roar

I scream; you answer
I need; you supply
I find; you're treasure
I fall; you rescue

I find you like a dove alighting
And I slowly, slowly give up my fighting
I run into your outstretched arms
Where you protect me from failures and harm.
May 2013 · 3.5k
If I am Salt
Jacob Traver May 2013
If I am salt
In your wounds, I burn
In your mouth, I leave distaste
In your glory, I am the particle swept away
In your ocean, I am the invisible lost one
In your life, I am salt
If I am salt
Then what good am I?
In your burns, I bring cleansing
In your wounds, I bring healing
In your distaste, I bring flavor
In your glory, I stand aside smiling
In your ocean, I bring life
If I am salt
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