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 Sep 2015 Jacob Traver
Lukoje
White noise buzzing about my skull,
Incessant thoughts without meaning,
No reprieve and no reason.

Other worlds all progressing steadily,
Overlapping with my own reality,
No definition between them.

You might not be able to see what I can,
Thinking I'm a fool or just insane,
No acceptance of my truth.

Always I will know that this is reality,
It is out there just behind the veil,
No way through to get home.
 Sep 2015 Jacob Traver
Tryst
Night and Dawn,
Two lovers lorn
To languish unrequited

Their fingers strain
To touch in vain,
Yet never be united

In dreams they roam
Sunrise to gloam,
Entwined till evening wakes

On mountain halls
When first:

Night falls

And then, alone:

*Dawn breaks.
 Aug 2015 Jacob Traver
tap
So lovely are the constellations
when I see them in your eyes,
shapes of stories and legends
and dreams of light.

My heartbeat accelerates
at the speed of sound.

Perhaps aliens who are
zettameters,
lightyears away
can still hear this muscle
singing your name
like a magic chant.

Heaven lost a star,
and you are right here,
just barely out of my reach.

*Even in this clouded city,
I can still look at you
and see the entire galaxy
in the span of a nanosecond.
8:47 pm. he barely tells me "i love you."
8:53 pm. i tell it back to him, the sentence foreign in my mouth.
9:02 pm. he says "goodnight" and i'm left awake, redder and warmer than the coronas and solar flares of the sun.
look at what you've done to me.
I find you in a room of a hundred walls where you can’t find yourself. You presume you too can find me, but I can’t feel it. I move my feet towards you and scream:
“I EXIST. YOU EXIST. I EXIST. YOU EXIST.” But you don’t seem to slightly hear me. Your eyes still pitch black, darker than the night but glittering and shimmering brighter than a million constellations. Does that indicate a near burnout? Or are you still in the process of combustion? Maybe you’ve exploded many light years ago but the aftermath is still demonstrating in your eyes fierier than ever.

“Insignificant.” You mumble.
“I exist, you exist.” I weep.
“I exist, you exist. But do exits exist?” you smirk, and I no longer want to exist.
 Aug 2015 Jacob Traver
epictails
Dig yourself
but not too much
or you'll be setting a* **grave
Haven't written in so many days though that is all I think about. No rhymes or ideas come no matter how much coffee I drink.
 Aug 2015 Jacob Traver
rlb
5/28/15
 Aug 2015 Jacob Traver
rlb
A pencil is as permanent as your love was for me.
Can't find real love, I've traveled sea to sea.

But it's real beauty, if you think about it real hard-
for atleast I've known how loneliness feels from the start.

A pencil is as permanent as my time is with you,
I've never heard haunting repeated words spoken so true.

I'll hold off and wait for the boy that will stay.
I'll hold off and wait for the one who makes all my terrifying thoughts fade.
 Aug 2015 Jacob Traver
rlb
My handwriting gives
me a headache to read.
My mind wanders with
memories I can't repeat.

So worried about tomorrow,
but stuck in the past,
that even a single good day
doesn't seem to last.

No one to love.
No one to hold.
No one to share secrets
and let my fears unfold.

There's crime in the streets,
there's past pain in these sheets,
there are scars a lot deeper
than me.

I sing to escape,
I take what I need for the pain,
and I wait out my days.

And just like that, I fade away.
 Aug 2015 Jacob Traver
Z
12:27 AM.
 Aug 2015 Jacob Traver
Z
I'm mad.

I'm mad I can't express myself without the fear of being judged to the point of a breakdown.

I'm mad I can't be with you and your whole existence I call perfection without being looked down upon and shamed.

I'm mad that 'us' will never exist.

I'm just mad...
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