I hate you
But you're a part of me and I don't know what to do

I love you
But you don't make me feel good

I want to leave you behind
And stay strong by myself for once

It's been 6 years
Please give me a chance

i turned eighteen today
the voice in my head had, something to say
“you’ve done so well, 132”
she told me “no one will recognize you”
that was before i lost all self control
looking around i see the ice cream bowl
now all i can do is eat
and eat

When I was 130 pounds
I was always jealous of my 90-pound mother
One day I told her I wished she was fat too
Instead of telling me I wasn’t
She said “that’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me”

Your laugh brings out mine
i miss it so much
the way you would lean back as you laughed to a joke
you say you hate it
something about it not sounding right
but to me
its perfect

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

don't break what is already broken

don't touch what is already on fire

don't look for what is shattered

but most of all ..

don't talk when you left me unspoken

nothing you say will fix me ..