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eliana 5h
It's only through mistakes we make
We learn where we went wrong.
It's only when we're far from home
We realize where we belong.

It's only when we close our eyes
Our dreams seem clear and bright.
It's only in our darkest hours
We truly see the light.

It's only when we lose our way
We pray to the stars above.
It's only through times of grief
We learn the true meaning of love.

It's only when all hope seems lost
And our weary journey seems so far,
When all the world's against you,
We learn how strong we really are.

All things are sent to try us.
We must strive and give our best.
I believe God is watching over us,
And he guides us in our que​st.
Like a teacher, I believe God sets us many tests in life to prove how strong we really are. We wonder where he is when times are tough, but as we know, a teacher always stays quiet during a test.
eliana 6h
Look into my eyes
and tell me what you see.
Do you see a reckless girl
or someone depressed at 13?

Do you dare see the tears
that spread across my skin?
Do you see all my losses
or the very few I win?

If you dare to touch my hand,
will you feel my softness
or will you feel the calluses
from burns and feeling-less?

Do you see unflawed youth,
or do you see a broken child?
Do you see all my pain,
or do you see me just as wild?

Can you tell I'm screaming
out for help I need?
Or am I just the silence of
the whistling wind without heed?

Look into these eyes
and peer into my soul.
Tell me, what do you see?
Am I broken or am I whole?
10h · 51
whats next?
eliana 10h
I lie awake tonight,
Wishing of things I can change.
I try to convince myself,
But it's all so strange.

Is it me,
Or is it you?
Do I try,
Or are we through?

So long we've shared
Just to walk away.
But so much hurt
To want to stay.

Why do we do this,
Try to hurt the other more,
Only to watch one
Walk right out the door?

I love you so much,
Yet I push you to the point of breaking,
But why do you play with my heart
And never stop taking?

Is this the end
Or a new beginning?
Only one can guide me
When my head is spinning.

Don't push,
Don't try,
Don't stress,
Don't cry.

That is what plays
Over in my head
As I try to close my eyes
And just go to bed.
draft
eliana 14h
Have you ever held in pain to the point where it seemed like you didn't care?
You could've sworn you were crying,
But when you went to wipe tears away there was nothing there?
Going through life empty,
Just letting the world pass you by.
Numb to any feelings,
Just wishing you could die.
I feel like this daily.
So lost I don't know what to feel.
When in fact I do feel pain, I can't believe that it's real.
So as I lay my head down tonight,
I close my eyes and pray.
I pray that God will give me guidance and to maybe feel someday.
This is dedicated to all the  people struggling to feel something other than emptiness or pain
14h · 30
Tears
eliana 14h
I come when pain
Becomes too much to take.
I come when you're sad,
Or your heart starts to break.

I might come when you panic,
I might come when you're mad.
I'll show up here and there,
When enough is what you've had.

I'm salty and warm,
I might be big or small.
Sometimes when you're strong,
I don't come up at all.

I fill your eyes with moisture,
I roll down your cheek.
Sometimes I mean joyous,
Sometimes I mean weak.

Sometimes when you're scared,
I come as a sign of fear.
You can feel when I'm coming,
Whether far or near.

I may come along
When you hear your favorite song.
Sometimes I show up
When you've been strong for too long.

I know you want to fly away.
I know inside you're a mess.
You long for a brighter day.
Tears are words the heart can't express.
i wrote this after crying. :)
18h · 136
battle scars 2
eliana 18h
Be brave.
You already are.
Look at what you've made it through.
The wounds of your past have healed.
The seemingly endless chapter has ended,
And those bruises have faded.
The battle, you survived,
And you are still here.
Be brave.
this poem  is about my battle scars. I hope it gives the people who have cut or are still cutting inspiration
18h · 23
Mt. Take Heart
eliana 18h
Often we can't see
The beauty in the pain.
Often we can't see
The treasure we gain.

Often we can't see
Pain has an ending.
Often others can't see
Our hearts are breaking.

Often we just see
The mountain of blame.
Often it's a journey
Full of lies and shame.

Take heart, dear little one.
The scars will heal in time.
I know it weighs a ton,
But you'll be fine.

Listen, my love.
The mountain is strenuous.
There comes hope from above;
Take heart and be courageous.
We have all been through tough times: break-ups, fights, deaths, etc. It hurts too bad or it envelopes the mind... but take heart and hope for better days. Your mountain of inflictions will soon pass.
eliana 2d
Friends are far, friends are near.
Friends will be there to lend an ear.
They listen, laugh, and care,
But most of all, they're always there.

Through thick and thin, up and down,
Your true friends are always around.
For treats, hugs, and real big smiles,
They'll travel to you from several miles.

They'll always be there to hold you tight.
Anytime, no matter if it's day or night.
You really know when your friends are sincere
When they always show up to lend their ear.
eliana 3d
A hero to me is not just a person who died for their country
or went inside a burning building or stuff like that.
A hero to me is a single mother who survives every day by herself,
A teenager against all odds getting through life,
An alcoholic walking into a rehab center,
A father being not just a father
but a friend, caregiver, supporter, a brick wall for his kids.
A friend, who no matter what or how wrong you are,
stands up for you and takes your side.
A hero, who no matter how hard they are being hit or pushed or beat down,
no matter how bad they are emotionally or physically or psychologically,
they stand up and keep going.
They push through the pain of life, love, kids, work, school, drugs,
sports, parents, heartbreak, alcohol; that to me is a hero.
A person who isn't just there, but is there living, breathing, and surviving.
i have been feeling a bit better, i still have some moments where i feel like everything comes crashing down but its better than before. I will be writing more now just depends on my mood
eliana 3d
Time is slow, time is fast.
It never stops, but it always lasts.
It's time for bed, it's time for school.
To waste your time is to be a fool.

If the time is right, the timing will be perfect.
Having the time of your life will always be worth it.
Some spend their time mad,
Some spend their time sad.
For some people time is all they ever had.

Some spend their time and some people save it.
Some love wasting time and some people hate it.
People waste time being in jail
People waste time being mad when they fail.

Some people have lots of time to spare.
Others spend their time not having a care.
It's time to stop, it's time to go.
Time can move fast or it can move slow.

You can lose yourself or lose your mind,
But as life goes on you will never lose time.
been thinking about time and passing. (draft)
3d · 129
That Someone.
eliana 3d
Someone once told me,
"You’re shining. Even if it doesn’t always feel that way."
I in fact, have been feeling that way.

I sit and think about all the pain and problems I've gone through.
Thinking before, "I'm so done. What am I gonna do.??"
I now say to myself "I am so strong for keeping up and fighting my hardest. "

"I'm
so
proud
of
you."
To that person, you know who you are. Thank you for your kind and meaningful words. They have helped me more than you know.
3d · 40
He'll never know
eliana 3d
I want to run, I want to hide
From all the pain he caused inside.
I want to scream, I want to cry.
Why can't I tell him goodbye?

I want to move on; I just can't let go.
I love him more than he will ever know.
I want to start over, I want to feel free!
But this pain will never leave me be.

He hurt me bad; the pain is deep
From all the promises he couldn't keep.
All the lies I heard him say
Are in my head and just won't fade.

How can I forget him, leave him behind?
Erase the memories from my mind?
He doesn't love me, and he never will.
He will never care how I feel.
for the people who have been heartbroken. im on a writing streak!
3d · 44
Bathing suit.
eliana 3d
Sun's out, the water gleams,
A vibrant lure of summer dreams.
But in the closet, hangs a dread,
A whisper from inside your head.
The bathing suit, a tiny span,
A mirror reflecting a flawed plan.
Each stretch mark, every curve and line,
Becomes a subject, far from divine.
The whispers grow, a judging choir.
Unable to do what my heart desires.
i am supposed to be going to this pool party for my best friends bday soon but ive been second guessing it all today. It will be the only time i have been out this summer but i dont feel confident enough. eh whatever i decide.
4d · 28
Pain
eliana 4d
Pain is a lot of things.
Pain is falling off your bike and scraping your knee.
Pain is being bullied by the cool kids.
Pain is having your first heartbreak.
Pain is feeling left out.
Pain is not knowing how you feel but it makes you angry.
Pain is losing the thing you most cherished.
Pain is knowing you can't go back in time to relive those happy memories.
Pain is getting injured.
Pain is being taken away from your family.
Pain is not being able to show your true self to others.
Pain is being scared.

But one thing pain isnt
Is that it doesn't last forever.
For all the pain you are put through or have been put through,
Is a day you will live to see and heal.
A day to remind you that your pain doesn't define you.
A day to show you that YOU are STILL living.

You will feel pain, you will be at lost for hope, you will feel all these things but someday, somehow
It. will. all. make. sense.
i felt like writing so i took the chance to as idk when i will feel like again. not my best but i needed to make sense of whatever is in my mind. love it, hate it, i tried my best <3
Jul 7 · 31
Untitled
eliana Jul 7
hi um i got back from vacation yesterday and today i had a appointment with my surgeon for my knee and i just got terrible news and i cried so much and ive been crying right now and i just wanted to let you know that i wont be as consistent with my poetry. I am in a really bad place and my depression is getting so bad and its getting the best of me. I wanna take the time to focus on my mental and physical health. I also wanna be patient and wait to heal as i am not happy because of the things i am not able to do with this messed up knee. It may sound stupid how im giving an excuse to random people why i wont write as much but ive felt more love on here than i have from my family. I love being able to write and share my thoughts and feelings without the need of being judged. I love every one of yall and am so grateful you take the time to read my words and give your feedback. Thank you so much and i hope to write sometime soon.
❤️ i will check this sometimes just to read poems and respond to anything.
eliana Jul 2
As the fireworks
Burst around in
Circles and all the
Different designs, the
Evening gets longer. So cheers
For all the
Good times we've
Had.
I wouldn't trade them for anything. It's
Just so bitter sweet.
Kids having the time of their lives,
Lost in time.
Memories in the making.
Noises of the summer.
Overwhelming excitement in the air.
Patriotism, the red, white, and blue.
Quick little moments fly by.
Relatives and friends having a blast.
Smells of good ole homemade cooking. Just some
Toasting and traditions along the way.
Unbelievable love and sacrifice.
Visioning every night like this one.
Water balloons flying in the air.
eXpectations of the night, blown away.
Yelling and singing every word to every song.
Zoned in on honor and enjoying life on the 4th of July.
i will not be able to write as i am going on vacation so happy 4th of july ! (early)
Jul 2 · 81
Untitled
eliana Jul 2
I beg to you.
I cry to you.
I wait for you.
Do you even care?
Are you even listening?
I mean i've been getting closer to you more than ever.
I've been doing better for you. For me. For my family.
But hey,

Not ever your best is enough.
seems like ive been waiting the longest, waiting so **** patiently for God to give me a miracle, a blessing. Instead my whole world is falling down and i cant save it. im not sure i wanna write poetry rn im struggling to be alive and i have no motivation. sorry , im not sure when ill come back.
Jun 30 · 21
False Identity
eliana Jun 30
Sometimes
I wish that you could see
This scared girl inside of me.
I'm not really as I seem.
I'm not tough, strong, or mean.
That isn't me.

This isn't the real me.
I fight by day,
Yet cry at night.
No one can see through
My false identity.

I've been hurt,
As you can see,
So I created
A fake me.

No one ever tries
To get through my shield.
All I want to be is me.

How do I show
What I've kept hidden for years?
How do I show
All the silent fears?

What would you think
If I showed you me?
What would you say
Without my false identity?
i couldve sworn i thought i posted this but maybe it was a glitch so heres this..
Jun 30 · 36
Just One More Day
eliana Jun 30
If I had just one more day...
I'd tell you I loved you.
I'd tell you I need you.
I'd tell you that you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

If I had just one more day...
I'd give you that one last hug.
I'd give you a kiss goodbye.
I'd give you my world.

If I had just one more day...
I'd show you how much I really loved you.
I'd show you why I loved you.
I'd show you why I NEED you.

If I had just one more day,
it would be okay for you to go away.

My life is so lost without you here.
Please come back, for just one more day...
just one.  (another draft)
Jun 30 · 196
If I Could
eliana Jun 30
If I could catch a rainbow,
I'd do so just for you
So you could share its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could, I'd buy an island
You could call it your very own,
A place to find serenity,
Where you could be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I'd throw them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
Are impossible for me.

'Cause I can't buy an island
Nor catch a rainbow fair,
So I'll just do what I do best:
Be someone who's always there.
i havent had any motivation or energy to write but i pulled myself together to write this one for lyle. i have read your recent poems and i wanna try to cheer you up. You have been there for me and I wanna be there for you.
eliana Jun 29
In the shadow of your warm love
I feel so safe and secure,
And your soft, caring hands
Urge me on to bravely endure.
Your smiles soothe and ease the pain
Of another dark and lonely day;
The rainbow appears amid the rain,
My sorrow as quickly melts away.
A reassuring glow within your eyes
Tells me that you understand
The complicated ways of my sighs
Born of thoughts truly grand.
I continue to look upon your face
And gain a calm heart, my sweet solace.
Jun 28 · 42
Untitled
eliana Jun 28
Fleeting eternity
surrounds the mountaintop,
nestled in a lush green valley
time forgot.

We're born, we learn,
and sometimes we weep.
No thought of time,
it quietly creeps.

Stones skimmed
through freshwater streams.
Breathing the harmony
of childish dreams.

We frolic, we flourish,
often in haste.
Time saunters by,
ample to waste.

Where seconds seem
to have immortality,
distant clouds tick to the beat
of our destiny.

We aspire, we desire,
we love and fulfil.
Time, we notice,
hasn't stood still.

It unravels
and unleashes.
It's sentimental,
yet sprightly releases.

We respired, we loved.
The winds of change blew.
Time we pursued,
yet it silently flew.

Gently fade into the
midnight hour of peace.
Our dreams immersed,
their flickers cease.

Ashes will carry
on a summer breeze.
Floating skyward
beyond the willow trees.

From earth to heaven
with God's grace and a prayer.
Listen to your heart,
you can find me there.
reflecting on lifes fleeting moments.
Jun 28 · 56
imagine
eliana Jun 28
Imagine yourself
Alone in your head.
You're hanging, dangling
From a silver thread.

Empty, alone
With the monsters within.
Internally screaming,
You just want to give in.

Now imagine that's you
Every day, every hour.
Forever sinking
Like a wilting flower.

You try to tell your dad
And you try to tell your mom,
But they say you're being silly,
You've just got to move on.

Because teens don't know sorrow
Nor the hardships of life.
They're just kids with imaginations
Just looking for attention, right?

You think that there's none
Who knows how you feel.
You're just so alone,
But the feelings- they're real.

Useless,
Neglected,
Forgotten,
Distressed.

Alone,
Afraid,­
But mostly
Depressed.

And you're friends,
They go on
Like nothing has changed.

"They must not care,"
Your thoughts whisper,
The lies in your brain.

You can't escape it,
Trapped in your own skin.
You're ugly,
You're hated,
But you mask it with a grin.

You hate what you feel,
So instead you feel nothing.
Your insides are numb,
Your confidence crumbling.

You look to other things
To stop the pain.
Like cutting
But it gives you no gain.

And the people around you
Shout abuse your way.
"You're hurting yourself, stop it!"
That's all they ever say.

No matter how you plead
That you're broken inside,
They turn the other way,
They run, they hide.

They say you're just foolish,
It's all in your head.
What they don't know is inside
You're already dead.
another draftt
eliana Jun 27
The plates will still shift
and the clouds will still spew.
The sun will slowly rise
and the moon will follow too.

Life’s beauty will continue
to flourish all around,
but now you are gone,
these birds have no sound.

And my heart does not beat.
It is still inside my chest.
My tears keep on falling
and my head will not rest.

But I have no choice only
to move through this life.
Endlessly attempting
to fill this longing that is rife.
draft
Jun 27 · 47
Despite The Storms
eliana Jun 27
Despite the storms,
beauty arrives like
it was always going to.
Despite the darkness,
the light returns.
Despite your loss,
your heart will be
full again.
Despite the breaking,
your heart will feel
like it belongs in the
land of joy once more.
This is how it will
always be. Keep living.
Jun 27 · 90
loneliness
eliana Jun 27
Aching heart and mind
Needs touch of a caring soul
Yearning company.
this summer is not the best ive had out of all the years. just want time to go by fast.
Jun 27 · 144
One Look
eliana Jun 27
As I stand on that muddy grass field,
The roar of the cheering crowds
Is all I seem to hear.
No specific voices; it's all just a blur.
The only person I really notice
Is the yelling of my coach.

As I go to challenge the ball,
I think, "I want my coach to be proud of me."
The ball is at me feet, I have to be quick.
I dribble up the side of the field,
Cut in and cross, one touch,
From another player, and goal!
I know my coach is proud of me
From just one look.

Walking to the car,
Ball in hand, covered all in mud,
I receive compliments on a great game.
I say thanks, but all that matters
After the game winning goal
Is that one look from my coach.
feels like my life is over. only a a year to recover but thats a year of doing nothing. injuries ****.
Jun 27 · 76
Through Thick And Thin
eliana Jun 27
I could skip a heartbeat, and I would survive.
I could be in a car crash and still be alive.
The clouds could fall out of the sky.
The oceans could disappear and all turn dry.

These things in life are all bad, I know,
but there's far worse things, just thought you should know.

Life would not be the same without someone like you.
You're there when I need you to help me through.
Through the good times and through the bad,
Be them happy or be them sad.

I don't have to be with you to know you're there.
We don't have to see each other to know that we care.
We could be apart for years upon end
and still remain the best of friends.

Life goes on, and people change,
And through it all, our friendship shall remain the same.
That's such as life and how things come to be.
Just thought you should know how much you mean to me!
wish she knew she saved me from such awful things. i hope to be there for her in the way she is there for me ❤️
Jun 27 · 78
Untitled
eliana Jun 27
You and me alone
Madness of world locked away
Peace and quiet reigns
another haiku. i was thinking of my grandma. ❤️🕊️
Jun 27 · 52
Your Wounds
eliana Jun 27
Time doesn’t heal wounds
to make you forget.

It doesn’t heal wounds to
erase the memories.

Time leaves you with a scar
to remind you of how you fought through it.

Time leaves you with a scar
to remind you of how you bled

and how you survived.

You survived.
i feel im not so good at short poems as i like to express as youve seen in my past poems, in lots of words but im trying to give it a second chance and see how creative i can get.
Jun 27 · 116
I Love You
eliana Jun 27
I love you.
I truly do.
For all I've put you through and made you ask "Do you even love me? Do you??"
I'm sorry.
I love you so much.
So much to the point where I'd rather not tell you how I feel because I know that it would break you.
I can't show you the things that I go through.
The demons I face.
The never ending race.
The situations that make my heart beat race.
Because I truly love you.
i cant let her see the real me. because there shouldnt be a reason that im feeling this way. i love you nena.
eliana Jun 26
To me, you're like an angel, sent by God above,
To cleanse my soul of sadness and fill it with love.
You are my inspiration, and I want to thank you,
For without you, I don't know what I would do.
You've changed my life around
And turned my frown upside down.
You have shown me the way
So that I will never stray.
For this I want to thank you again,
For staying close by and being a friend.
And to end this off, I just wanted to say
That if you need a friend,
I'll be there till the very end.
its only been a year since we became friends but i hope we are best friends forever. i hope we all stick together.
Jun 26 · 44
Untitled
eliana Jun 26
Sometimes I hate my body
But sometimes I feel like a hottie
It's unpredictable how I feel
The feeling of hated can easily steal
It feels like such a crime
But I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time
To relearn to love myself again
Maybe I'll feel like a ten
Having something of my own
Wishing I didn't feel so alone
To feel more confident in that bikini
Sometimes I wish I was just a little more skinny
It's hard for me to see other girls look the way I want to look
But in the end I don't want jealousy in my book
They say the prettiest thing a girl can wear is confidence
I wish I had more of that.
havent had much energy or whatever to write but i wrote this. some people struggle with how they look and how they look to others and I sometimes feel like that so I understand.
Jun 26 · 53
Last Whispers.
eliana Jun 26
In the quiet of my room  shadows creep  
A heavy heart  a soul that weeps.
Time ticks slowly like a fading light  
Each breath a burden  each thought a fight.
The mirror shows a face I barely know  
A reflection of pain  a heart full of woe.
Whispers of darkness fill the air  
A lonely echo  a deep despair.
The memories linger  like ghosts in my mind  
Happy moments lost  so hard to find.
Friends and laughter  now distant and pale  
In this heavy silence  I feel so frail.
I write my goodbyes on a crumpled page  
Words spill like tears  a heart in a cage.
I long for peace  for a way to escape  
But fear grips my heart  a tight  aching shape.
The stars outside seem to dim and fade  
A world without me  a choice I’ve made.
But deep down inside  a flicker remains  
A whisper of hope  amidst all the pains.
I think of the love that I might leave behind  
The faces that cared  the ties that bind.
But the darkness is loud  it drowns out the light  
And I’m lost in a tunnel  no end in sight.
I remember the laughter  the warmth of a hug  
But shadows are heavy  and the world feels so snug.
I wish I could see the beauty out there  
But my heart feels so tired  too weary to care.
In these final hours  I search for a sign  
A glimmer of hope  a reason to pine.
Yet silence surrounds me  a blanket so cold  
I long for a story that’s yet to be told.
So here I stand  at the edge of the night  
With a heart full of sorrow  and dimming light.
But if someone hears this  if someone can see  
Know that you matter  and you’re not just like me.
Though my journey is ending  yours has just begun  
Hold on to your dreams  face the rising sun.
For life can be heavy  but love can be found  
Seek it in shadows  let hope be your sound.
Jun 25 · 38
Summer!
eliana Jun 25
The sun is out.
The children scream and shout
All about.

There is no more school.
Everyone in the pool!
No more looking like a fool.

They run outside,
Find places to hide
And bikes to ride.

Everyone is having fun
No rush, no places to run.
Relax and play with anyone.

No one is stressed,
No more weight on their chests.
This is why summer is the best
freedom of finally being out of school and being able to do anything. Going out whenever, not having to wake up early, hanging out with friends. These are all things I think of when summer comes to mind.
eliana Jun 25
A silly girl
Loved a stupid boy
He was her everything
She was just his toy
He played with her emotions
Put mixed feelings in her head
For that stupid boy
A million tears that girl had shed
His friends would laugh
In his fun they would share
They knew he was a player
While she thought they were the perfect pair
Then came that horror
She was two weeks late
So she took the test
Could this possibly be fate?
She told that boy
The news she had found out
That was when she discovered
What he was all about
He showed his true colors
And crushed her pride
Left her all alone
For someone he had on the side
Born to her
Was a perfect son
This war she was fighting
The new mother had won
The prize was hers
To keep for a lifetime
A baby boy
Born to shine
I wrote this because i live with my dads mom and she takes care of me and my older brother by herself. she is like the mother i never had. i wanted to put myself in her shoes as a single mom and so this goes out to any single mothers, your doing awesome and even thought you may have times where you just break down, remember that those kids are the reason you are doing this. because you love them and what would they do without you? they may not understand that yet but soon enough they will, and the sacrifices youve had to make. be patient, as God will guide you.
Jun 25 · 43
Sunset Park
eliana Jun 25
The feeling was one of being forgotten.
The air stagnant, almost rotten.
The ceiling was a tonne of stone.
Beneath the foundation, I feel prone.
Sorting through the ration, and the emotion.
The pain. The rain.
A malfunctioning drain.
Overzealous. Overflowing.
The treacherous creature, furiously rowing.
Water on the stony floor,
from the Storm above the ground.
I never heard the thunder sound,
from the cell, where they dwell
in the dark.
And have never been to Sunset Park.
And never heard the rooster crowing
before its light.
Because they know it's not their fight.
In that case, it must be mine.
Is it my responsibility, for the sun to shine?
Did I paint the clouds of my own free will?
For people to sit on their window sill,
and glumly look upon the Grey.
Was it only me who had a say?
The truth is it was your day,
as much as it was mine.
And it was your crimes
that you did in your primes that shape the world today.
And then there were those who hid when they should have lived.
And thrived where I would have died.
We're threatened by light.
Found freedom in a lack of space
and victory at the end of every race.
I couldn't keep me safe, even with mace.
For I was dazed in the sun that blazed too hard in certain places.
But disappeared at random phases.
It is for them to bite the dust.
And lust for god knows what.
That will help me stem the rot
in your spine.
Even though you tell me everything is fine.
draftt .
eliana Jun 25
People say it is a field,
A lovely field of happiness.
With flowers spread,
Throughout this field.
Skies,
So clear and blue.
The sun,
Shining ever so brightly.
Birds chirping as if it were
The first of spring.
Rabbits hopping around
As if they could go on
For forever and eternity.
As the creatures enjoy,
Enjoy this wonderful place,
For it makes everything
Joyful, exciting, and happy.
A dark cloud has come,
Taken up the rays of sunlight.
With one cloud,
Brings many clouds.
The flowers,
Have now died,
And weeds
Have taken their place.
The skies
Are no longer clear and blue.
The sun
No longer shines with the rays,
The rays from the heavens above,
Instead it rains,
Rains as if it were meant to do so.
Birds no longer chirp as if it were
The first of spring.
Rabbits don't feel the need to hop,
For they won't go on,
For forever and eternity.
People say it's like a field,
A lovely field of happiness.
They don't understand,
For every field of flowers,
There is a single ****,
That one **** eventually spreads,
And takes over the flowers
Replacing them as if
They have never existed.
For every time,
It is sunny and blue,
There will always be
That one small, dark cloud,
Hovering right near by.
There is no such
Thing as a lovely field of happiness,
Every field has its flaw.
It is a field everyone lives in
Some point in life.
Once you are in this field,
There is no way of escaping,
There is no way in making it perfect,
For there will always be that one,
That one **** or cloud,
Standing in your way,
Of perfection and happiness
Everyone wonders what life really does have to offer and wonders what the meaning of "The Perfect Life" is. The truth is there isn't one.
Jun 24 · 120
Care And Happiness
eliana Jun 24
You came as a ray of light,
Made my life cheerful and bright,
Showering your affection over me
So that my face was full of glee.
Taking away my complete loneliness
And giving me back all the happiness
With a Midas touch of your care
To keep me away from despair.
I'll never leave you midway,
And tales of our bond people will say.
I wrote this poem to tell my best friend that her support and care during a period of loneliness and despair has helped me to regain happiness. though we are apart this summer, i look forward to seeing her soon and hanging out more.
Jun 24 · 39
You're Not My Father
eliana Jun 24
To have your last name
makes me ill.
You make me so angry
I want to ****!

I hate your voice
and the thought of you.
You were never there
when I needed you!

You're inconsiderate,
you're a lazy slob.
How could you do
what you did to mom?

It's like you don't
even accept me.
What kind of father
can you be?

You're stupid for thinking
that I'd forgive
what you did to me...to mom... to grandma.
How do you live?

Do you regret?
I hardly doubt.
I bet that I'm
the last thing you think about.

Don't lie to me.
I know I'm right.
I don't want you
in my sight!

Stay where you are;
don't bother.
You're lousy - I hate you
You're not my father!!

But that's okay,
you see,
because I don't need
your love!

You've forgotten
me before.
Go ahead...do it
some more!

LOSER! ****! - I hate you
you're not my father,
and guess what,
I'm no longer
your daughter!
while ive never thought to "****", at times when i was grieving my father being in jail, i hated him for quite some time and hated talking to him over the phone and hearing him tell me he misses me and loves me, thinking it was lies. i still have times when he calls it just disgusts me but im trying my hardest to not hold a grudge. i love him still but hes just not the same in my eyes.
Jun 24 · 49
Fork In The Road
eliana Jun 24
I came to a fork in the road.
I could have went left.
I could have went right.
But i just turned around.

See,
If i went left, down that path,
some might have,
Picked at my insecurities and laughed,
I may have tripped on a branch and crashed,
The grim reaper could have slashed,
My brains could have been Smashed.

If i went right, down that path,
Who knows what may lie,
Might be a hot, sweet pumpkin pie,
A warm, voluptuous woman willing to give me a try,
A shoulder on which when hurt I could cry,
Shelter from weather so I could stay dry,
Or love,
an everlasting supply.

But those paths could also be vice versa.
And I'd have no way to know.
so I realized that when I came to the fork,
I had to think consequentially.

So when I say "I just turned around",
I wasn't running due to confusion, or in need of protection,
I simply turned to ask for help,
I needed some direction
Jun 24 · 41
Dear Mom
eliana Jun 24
Dear Mom,
Have you forgotten?

Sitting, waiting, hoping

Where did you go, Mom?
Did I do something wrong?

Lost, lonely, sad

Are you really gone, Mom?
I waited...
I'm with my grandparents now, Mom.
I have a room now.
Are you there, Mom?
Can you hear me?

Tired, crushed, defeated

Started school again.
It's my birthday, Mom!
It's okay, I don't need a birthday card.

Broken, lacking, sorrowful

Broke an ankle, Mom.
Got a school award.
Are you happy?

Undefined, sinking, heartbroken

Went to the school dance, Mom.
Had my first relationship!
Do you miss us, Mom?

Warped, torn, tangled

You're really gone now.
Why?
I'm moving on now, Mom.
I miss you.
I love you.
Goodbye.
i lied mom. i cant move on. i will look for you again one day mom but for now, its goodbye.
eliana Jun 24
When resentment and offense
Invade the very crevices of your heart
It burns fierce like sulfur
As it forces love to depart.

Causing only the mention of a name
To consume you with hate
As its poison reeks havoc
on the next generation's fate

This grudge festers on
Keeping you imprisoned in pain
Causing every life force around you
To bear the effects of your strain

For hate and love
Cannot reside in one heart
Just as hate takes a family
And tears it all apart

Without forgiveness the heart dies
As it mourns the loss of love
Never understanding its very being
Is created in the heavens above

So then, how can we be reconciled
To God, who is LOVE, the creator of life
If the heart still remains
Unforgiving and full of strife?

I believe mankind's greatest lesson
What we are sent here to learn
Is how to love God and our neighbor
Before we return

So what's more valuable to you
Is it love or is it pride?
Because a heart without love
Has already died!

And understand that if pride
Is what you choose
There are many generations to follow
Who have everything to lose!

Ask love to return again
And invade every crevice of your heart
Seek the courage to make amends
Let love give you a new start!
draft after a broken family tree
eliana Jun 23
Ice cold
frozen home
psychotic tone
I'm in a coma with Osmosis Jones
I should have known
That if I got to blown
I'd be stuck here all alone

Lesson learned now it burns blue
Like a dry ice brain freeze mentally abused
Split paths loyalty or love so much to lose
Better choose young blood before the devil comes to you

Click clack. Click clack. Click clack.
a reminder of the past
The golden apple god forbid me to grasp
Temptation took its toll and consumed me. . .
And cast the Devil's curse ~ he had me at last
My soul changed
Hell's chorus sang
His reaper came
And unleashed his chain
I strip you of all you love
Walk the earth alone in the dirt and the mud . . .

I put the blood in the jug
Now solitude is the only friend that has my back
It creeps on me as I lay ~ a ghost in a box
Tic Toc. Tic Toc. Tic Toc.

I hear laughter as I lay purple and blue
My eyes see red
Swollen half dead
Stabbed in my bed
By the spear of destiny . . .

Two maidens rise
The sun and the moon
They see right through my disguise
The black thorns embedded in my heart by my own devices
One too many vices
Forsaken by reality
The black thorns consumed me
Set me me free
I pleaded
Put an end to this monstrosity by ending me...
I should have known they would pity me
Instead they cleansed the beast in me

The sun shined her rays and warmed my home
I cannot bring them back, but your loved ones gave me light so you'd never feel alone
The moon gave me a voice to battle my insanity
I cannot take your pain, but speak and your words will grant you serenity.
I thanked the sun
And fell in love with the moon
But she lived in the sky and left too soon

So now I speak to her with poetry
Standing here hoping she'll notice me
But till then I'll keep using this gift
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
I will turn pain into strength
Jun 23 · 232
Be The Spark
eliana Jun 23
Be strong and have courage
Soar among the stars
For you have a purpose
Be as bright as a wildfire

This is a message
For the damaged
For the broken
Even with your wreckage
God will help you to be outspoken

Be brave and kind
Be a light in the dark
Let your light shine
Be the spark
Jun 23 · 54
Strawberries
eliana Jun 23
I think Im rotting from the inside
A feeling of constant suffocation
A need to be wanted, loved
The beauty of it is on the outside
It's not a disaster
Embrace the fake smile
Force out the laughter
To scared to embrace flaws
That made you lose it all
From friends to family
I hate the late nights when I cry and ask myself what is wrong with me
After a while you learn
That picking fruit from the forbidden garden can't be the root to all your women problems
That your just an issue beyond the point solving
There is no point of solving
The sun can't hide it's tears from the sky
Eventually it'll rain
But as time passes
Strawberries grow from pain
Jun 23 · 42
Mood Swings
eliana Jun 23
My head is not right today.
I have no idea why it's this way.

It switches from one thought to another.
I feel like I am being smothered.

I can't finish just one thought.
In a group is where they are brought.

I'm under so much stress.
There are things I should confess.

Some people say I am so strong,
But in reality, they couldn't be more wrong.

The outer part of me puts on that smile
While the inner me has been dying for a while.

I hate this part of my disease.
It literally brings me to my knees.

From a great mood to nasty as hell.
Which it's gonna be, I can never tell.

Most of the days I can push through.
Today I don't know what to do.

It comes with no known trigger.
It's not going away; it's only getting bigger.

Bigger, louder, and extremely strong.
I wish I knew what was wrong.

I want to cry, but I don't know what for.
I hate this disease; I don't want it anymore.

I get these terrible pains in my chest.
Feels like the Lord is gonna lay me to my final rest.

Will these feelings only last for today?
'Cause it feels like they will never go away.

In reality it will not.
A life sentence is what I got.

I could be flying high in the fluffiest cloud.
Then, bam, I crash onto the ground.

I wonder if people truely understand
What really goes on in my land.

How could they when even I don't?
How could they when they simply won't?

This not only takes a toll on me,
But it affects my friends and family,

Especially those days I cannot hide
The deep dark depression I feel inside.

Some days I'm just not strong enough.
Some days are just too tough.

But most of the days I seem to manage
To get through them without serious damage.

Well at least to others
Is what I mutter

Things aren't usually this bad,
But you won't know which I have had

'Cause that is what we do.
We pretty it up for you.

I can't keep that clear thought in my head.
I'm done with this crap; I am going to bed
i inherit some traits from my mother who is bipolar and as i am a little bipolar myself, the constant stress from others is tiring. There are emotions and feelings i cannot control but some don't seem to understand that.
Jun 23 · 41
innocence lost
eliana Jun 23
I don't like it when people fight.
My mom and dad do every night.
I lie in bed and pretend to be asleep.
My mom looks in; I don't make a peep.

Sometimes I wish I didn't live here.
I'm a little girl who only feels fear.
When I go to school I put on a big smile.
I pretend things are fine, and it works for a while.

But there are days when I am very sad.
When I've been called names and told that I'm bad,
Then I keep to myself and hide my shame,
For I don't really know who to blame.

I'm scared to have friends come over to play.
I never dare ask if my friends can stay,
For I don't know when they will start.
I'm just a little girl trying to be smart.

The dishes breaking, the yelling, the shouting.
Their fights are ever so mounting.
I'm the innocent victim who feels rejected
Instead of feeling loved and respected.

But maybe if I wish really hard
The memories will ease and I won't be scarred.
When I awaken, maybe my wish will come true.
Out with the old and in with the new.

A new way of living for my parents and I.
There'll be no more tears for the little girl to cry,
But it's really ******* children to grow up like this.
They'll look back on a childhood they really missed.
i tried to write in the perspective of my little self and the childhood i had, and older me looking back at it.
Jun 23 · 36
Pain Told Love
eliana Jun 23
Pain told love I'm not here to stay.
Once I've taught all I can, I'll be on my way.
It might be tomorrow or next month or year.
Each lesson is learned with every new tear.

Pain told love she needs to grieve.
Once I've done all I can, I'll take my leave.
These tears that she sheds won't be here for long.
She'd hoped he would live, but I guess she was wrong.

Pain told love she feels empty inside.
It's not something she can easily hide.
A short time ago all she did was smile,
But now that he's gone, she won't for a while.

Pain told love she'll be okay soon.
The sadness she feels lessens with each new moon.
She looks past his death to the memories they made,
And with each new day, her despair starts to fade.

Pain told love my job here is done.
Her shadows fall behind as she faces the sun.
The girl steps forward and starts to smile.
She hasn't felt this way for a good long while.

Love told pain you're no longer needed.
I'll take over from here as your lesson was heeded.
The feelings you gave her, they tore her apart,
But it's time for me to piece back together her heart.
pain doesn't last
Jun 23 · 37
Cleansing
eliana Jun 23
You don't want to meet me here
Torn between my hope and fear
A fallen angel lurking near
Is looking for an honest ear
The angels in a demons cloth
Impurities into the wash
A strength of which the weak will watch
When time is at a pricely cost
But you cannot teach the blind to see
Only feel, only be,
An insight that must come from thee:
To absolve the soul; I set it free.
pt 4.
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