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Jiya Feb 2019
the blink of an eye was enough to scare
poor little julia into despair
clutching onto her favourite teddy bear
our poor little julia found herself dead

murdered
stabbed in the chest
an excerpt from a song im working on at the moment
Jiya Feb 2019
a week in the sun
a year in the clouds
a decade in the dark
make it stop

please
depression, anxiety, the world, meds, friends, people, life.
it just needs to stop
Jiya Jan 2019
I’m angry
So tirelessly angry
At you, my mother.
For that I’m sorry
I don’t want to be angry
Yet I feel it more and more
For no valid reason
Except for something I can’t control
I’m tired
I can’t cure it
It turns me into something cruel
So let me say sorry
Sorry for the pain my anger causes you.
Jiya Jan 2019
they say screaming isn't art
they say it tears your ears apart
brings no substance to the heart

but screaming can be art
a soundtrack to the dark
the da Vinci of the heart

it depends on your tastes
your lifestyle, your faith
the friends you are so desperate to make

but let's make one thing clear
no matter how you feel
screaming is beautiful
to those with the right ear
so don't try to tell them that it brings only fear
a poem about my love for metal music and how many people tend to perceive it in the wrong light and never give it a shot.
Jiya Dec 2018
I'm being sent away.
Far away to a place I can't explain.
A place filled with my secrets.
Where all my problems are on display.
A place where they open up your insides.
Where they prey on your pain...
A quick little poem about the fact my teacher and the school counsellor are sending me to a doctor to sort out my mental issues. It feels like the last straw for me, being sent away to a sterile unfamiliar place.
Jiya Nov 2018
i want to tell you.
i really do.
i'd love to spill my secrets, my issues to you.
yet i can't comprehend it.
i can't communicate it to you.
and the fact you could leave me.
it makes my heart a tearful blue.
you already look at me as if i'm broken.
what do i have to lose?
i want to tell you.
i really do.
yet i can't cope with the fact.
the fact your presence may fade.
vanish without a trace.
except you'd still have that key.
the key that can unlock the darkness in my brain.
this poem is in honour of my teacher who wants me to know that i can talk to him. but it's nearing the end of the year and he may not be my teacher next year. i fear that if i tell him too much i won't be able to cope that next year he might be wandering around with the burden of my thoughts i selfishly put on him without being able to do much to help me. and that i won't be able to connect with another teacher like i have with him. so, in general, this poem isn't really about telling him about my issues. it's about the fact that i might lose his presence in my life and that he's one of the last things that's keeping me sane. this poem is about loss. XD sorry for the mini rant i just needed to get this out there y'know.
Jiya Nov 2018
Listening to Christmas song in the early hours of the morning.
Don't ask why as I myself have no clue.
I often despise their catchy tunes, yet tonight they are appealing.
Whilst I'm holding back salty tears, sleep is yet to consume me.
There's little chance it ever will.
I've had five cups of coffee today, yet I know that doesn't affect me.
My cycle is already disrupted and unhealthy.
A teenager in the midst of development.
I shall be waking in six hours.
It's the weekend.
Yet if my eyes are open before then, don't be surprised.
It's unpredictable.
It's self-diagnosed.
It's been here for over a month.
It is seldom taken seriously.

My fellow insomniacs would know.
This poem I wrote at two in the morning. For the past month, slightly longer even, I've had insomnia. It takes me hours of laying wide awake staring at the wall for me to fall asleep. I wake up multiple times a night and extremely tired in the morning. I lose focus at school, especially in the afternoon. I constantly feel in a state of sadness, frustration or anger and I just really needed to express my feelings. So... thanks for reading and understanding :)
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