She will fight
for Survival, and
we are first casualties

reality does not exist
in the mirror

On cloudy days
She was the sun
Hiding away
And away from the fun

On winter days
She was the rain
Falling over
And over again

On night skies
She was the moon
Out to be shown
But shown too soon

On hot days
She was the heat
Fighting and fighting
To struggle through beat

On clear skies
She is the sea
Floating and floating
Over top of me

On gloomy days
She is the sun
Hiding away and away
There's nothing to be done

On miserable days
She said her goodbyes
Waving and waving
To me and her lies

On cloudy days
I sit and pack
Maybe the sun
Would bring her back

On winter days
I miss her so
Thinking and thinking
Of ways to let her know

That in the summer
She was my sun
Keeping me up
And enjoying the fun

And in winter
She was my coat
Keeping me warm
And staying afloat

On miserable days
She'd smile away my tears
I wish she was here
To recover from her years

On cloudy days
I feel like the salt
In cursed ocean water
It's all my fault

I'm at home, all alone
But please do not come around
Because alone is what I like to be
Without new faces or new sound

I'm at home, all alone
I think you know my address
But please do not come around
Because I will only love you less

I'm at home, all alone
You believe that no means yes
But please do not come around
Because I look like quite a mess

I'm at home, I'm not alone
Please don't say to me
That you misheard what I said
Because I could hear you clearly

I'm at home, please go away
I did not want you to come around
Because alone is what I liked to be
Without new faces or new sound

I'm at home, now alone
You've left me at my address
But please do not come back around
Because now I love you less

I spread my fingers through her hair, all in knots.
An empty pie tin lies on the floor, binged and dropped
from her side. I'm propping her on the dream she's slipped in.
Cherry goo stains her lip. I thumb the remains,
wiping it on my jeans as she breathes
stale, sugar crust. Her mascara clumps
underneath her lash-line, eyes blinking
like a monarch's wings.
I peel her socks off, cold toes resting
in my hands. She curls beneath
a layer of down and ratty, baby blanket.
Quietly, as she ties herself to another
panic-induced slumber, I flush
her ***** down the toilet and clean
the rim of the bowl with bleach
and the towel we wrapped
each other in the night before
after our shower.
She wakes at the sound of me *******
the lock on her bedroom door, begging
Do you really have to go?
I fall into the falsetto of her trance,
tasting her paleness before I've even
begun to kiss her skin to sleep again.
She sighs as I fit the mold,
wrapping my arms around her frailty,
tucking this Saturday night episode
under the bed skirt.

We are the girls who walk around with little bird bones,
rib cages ready to snap when we spread our wings and
fly away

and for my next act,
I shall disappear little by little until I am ash.

I’m not eating for four days or until
I can feel the ***** that is my stomach start to shrink

I used to refuse food for weeks
it amazes me how self-indulgent I have become

I am ready to eat spoonfuls of air
spin my hair into a models top knot and
know that water is a privilege not a right

a million screaming girls saying
“but im not hungry”
while a tiger flays their insides open at night

Kate Moss said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"
and I suppose she is correct
What happens when you learn the tongue is a muscle not to be used

What happens when sustenance is no longer needed
When the mind decides
the very thing that keeps the body alive is a punishment

What happens when you refuse a necessity of being human

I've always been a lost soul,
striving to find some piece of mind.

Only caring for the things that inspire me;
lighting up my fires and burning down in a flash.

I live for the rush of the moment,
I seek endless adventures and enjoy the sensations they give me.

I don't know what's good for me, darling
and the truth is *I don't wanna know.