i found myself last night whispering your name under the shield of my duvet, willing myself to pronounce every syllable of your name to the darkness of my room. i looked up to the plastic stars on my ceilings, remainders of the childhood i once had, and said it:
“yoon. jeong. han”
every syllable clear and true.
and it occurred to me, how beautiful your name was.
“yoon” — the moon and the whistles of the wind, lulling me into dreamland. “jeong” — a masculine edge. and finally, the concluding “han” that returns it into its original softness.
clean milky way.
i’ve never expected to fall for a boy with your name. but i’ve always been fascinated with the universe and all the bright lights surrounding our blue planet. so i guess, it is only fitting for me to fall for a boy whose name means “clean milky way”
so i whispered your name over and over into the night. yoon jeonghan. yoon jeonghan. yoon jeonghan. until the taste of it becomes as familiar as the quiet. and i swear, i saw the plastic stars on the ceiling growing brighter with every syllable.
i whispered and whispered until i fell into morpheus’ charm, and awoke with a new realization:
*your name is my favorite sound.
to the boy who made me feel
{or alternatively — "it's 3 in the morning and you still haunt my mind so i decided to write this piece i wouldn't call poetry and post it on a poetry website for hundreds to see"}
Love, Care, Joy ove, Care, jo ve, Care, j e, Care , Care Car a Ha Hat Hate Hate, Hate, A Hate, Ab Hate, Abu Hate, Abus Hate, Abuse Hate, Abuse, Hate, Abuse, S Hate, Abuse, Sa Hate, Abuse, Sad
Strong winds may uproot you Unsettle your stoic resignation You will be shaken and stirred Lot of ponderings and doubts In the middle of nowhere When gravity does not give hope Become a fearless traveler Encounter the strong winds No matter where you settle Continue to spread your roots, deeper Your soul is still with you Nothing can stop you from reliving Every unsettling episode Will teach you to be more resilient
It has been four whole months since you’ve left, your jacket still hangs in my closet and you still have a draw full your stuff in my dresser.
We never celebrated valentines day - yet I still think of you and our misfortunes - of our three year path that lead to heartbreak.
Often I break down I sit on my knees and pray that you never meant the things you said - I keep your number saved in my phone with hearts and x’s and o’s just in case you call me
which, you have when you’re drunk or high when you’re trying to remember why you hate me - why my world crumbles when you’re around I can’t see straight or hear the words coming out your mouth everything you do for better or for worse just sounds to me like you saying
I ran. Not knowing what else to do There was so much blood on my hands It was mine The kitchen knife Caught in my chest Guilt Consumed by Fear I was heightened by Adrenaline But running on Wasn’t enough While trying to stay calm, Losing control It was me that would end up Dead. Because He was In front of me The whole time It was too late Trapped I found myself Locked in chains My fate was Death.
Forward: from the victims perspective. Backward: from the murderers perspective.