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sometimes i wonder

what it would be like

if we were still together

and it feels like a dream

not a nightmare
hello?
can you hear that?
me begging for you to stop-
to get out of my head.

hello?
can you taste that?
i have no idea why my tears taste this way...
i guess you were right, i really should drink more water.

hello?
can you feel that?
as i continue to slice myself open in attempts to hurt you,
my idea of containing the wild beast but,
you must be a *******.

hello?
hello?

is now when you leave?
do you not want me anymore?
you’re just like the others.

can’t you hear me?
do you not want to?
have i become too much for you to handle?
are you now scared of this chaos that you’ve created?
do you fear that you’ve lost control of me?

is it because i almost took 15 pills this morning instead of 1?
i told you i was sorry.

hello?
you tore nebulas out of my mouth and left a blackhole as my smile, stardust is clogging up my throat now.
i can’t breathe.
hello?
hel-hello?
i guess this was the plan all along.
Living in a fantasy with me,
Encased within a dream.
Circling the stars just like
We were in the sea.
And soon you will see,
That I cant differentiate between
What's real?
And what's make believe?
Nothing is as it seems;
Eat me, drink me,
Sky high, down low,
Wherever you may go to,
I will follow the maze into the deepest depths of you.
Dreaming
too many ways
to say you no longer love her
without making her understand
that this is the end
i always hope
you will fall back in love
with the first girl you fell for
but she's just fading away
in your mind
she can do nothing
to win back your heart
nothing
some conjectural nonsense on a day
where she is working late
and I'm listening to her playlist
since we are, I mean I'm nearly positive
I am, therefore,
there can be no zero,
I got to looking at mathematical
conundrums, why?
your guess is good as mine.
What is 0 divided by zero, the question
pondered.
I looked through all the differing opinions and listening
to a favorite love song of ours,
recalling in all the detail
our fantastic times together,
the meals together, no one else
around a snuggle on the couch watching Netflix,
(where every movie has Morgan Freeman in it)
the calm contentment of nothing else
to prove nothing left to need, I had
her here,
and some argued 0/0
was one others said it was
undefinable a few said it was infinity,
and before I knew it,
It was seven o'clock and she was going home,
texted me that.
And I played real quick
a song we danced to way back when
last year, November it was
and I had her in my arms for real.


And,
I decided....there ain't no zero.
you were the scab comet
lingering past my conscience
my marshes baked to craters
tore them ablaze
craters as the enchanted trees
alongside the solitary riverbanks
solemn splashes of silvery water
eternity longs as I pour void
the gleaming stars that were shooting
Hordes of them
I'm entangled in  a destiny
of gleaming stars
in a cherished constellation..
Don't follow in my footsteps
I warn you,
Soon they'll disappear
For my dreams won't
Keep me grounded
Before long,
these wings will lift me
In the air

© JL Smith
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