We started on the bed,
With hushed tones.
Hesitant on how to tread.
Still, an urge within our bones.

At first it was soft gazes,
Even softer gasps.
Like a fire that blazes,
Embraced in a heated clasp.

The heat of soft lips,
Pressing down, leaving trails
Along soft ******* and hips.
I took in all the details.

Then night after night,
I would see the marks,
The bruises, the bites
Within dips and arcs.

It couldn't stop there,
I never wanted it to.
Though I doubted to care,
For the things you could do.

Now I lay sated,
Awaiting the next encounter.
The next fire to be created
With flames that devour.

It was sweet innocence,
found in TV and films.
Oh, such simpleness.

In sheds, in the woods.
It was whimsical and fun.
Unspoiled by dark moods.

Countless nights in front of a screen.
Just as many mornings running late,
Building a foundation in-between.

Unknown to us both,
Life wouldn't be kind.
We still found growth.

Look at you now,
Gone from strength to strength,
As if having given a vow.

If my heart is black,
And my soul is lost.
I, having lost track
Of the hours it has cost.

Can I be free?

The bite of the wind is chilling,
Yet it does not reach my core.
But I stand there, unwilling.
Facing what it has in store.

Can I be free?

The ground sinks,
With one foot in front
It's as though the other shrinks.

Can I be free?

I wish to collapse,
My energy is spent,
Healing the breaks and cracks
With mortar, brick and cement.

Can I be free?

The chains are unshackled,
But no less heavy.

Can I be free?

Bruises and marks appear.
They come as no surprise,
I do not face them with fear,
Nor with weeps and cries.

Can I be free?

This is all unknown,
I am burdened by my mind.
This path is mine alone,
To discover, to unwind.

Am I free?

You see him rise,
With warmth and light,
Fiery yet wise.
Behold his might.

He gazes over all,
And judges none.
Now I hear his call.
The journey has begun.

Then he sets.
I await the morning,
Watching silhouettes,
As the moon comes calling.

Now it's her time.
Her loving energy
Is a gentle chime,
Leaving me in a reverie.

Did you think you'd win?
For a moment I did.
As if death or something akin,
Of you, I would never be rid.

Instead I came back,
Fighting tooth and nail,
Healing the breaks and cracks,
Living to tell the tale.

It's not my time,
Not for a long while.
I still have mountains to climb
And am yet to face more trials.

This shadow fades away,
I bid it goodbye.
It fades to grey,
Invisible to the eye.

I found that darkness within,
That which kept me awake,
And would lead me into a spin.

Found under blades,
On mellow nights.
As the sun fades

The shadow appears.
Bringing all my sorrows,
All my worries and fears.

The knife would cure
The overwhelming feelings,
All which I saw impure.

Blood would run dry,
Leaving me scarred.
Yet, I would still cry.

That shadow is gone,
Though there are many more.
I am no longer a pawn.

It's certainly harder,
To try and get by.
Speaking aloud with less ardour.

One hour into the next.
Time ticks by,
I begin to feel vexed.

The days are long,
the weeks are short,
I keep moving along

Determined to stay alive,
In these low moments,
Where I feel deprived.