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Time has come
For me to let go
Of the things that hurt me and you
Of the things that made us suffer
Like an old guitar
Slowly losing its strings
Running out of tune
These feelings we once harbored
Are now fading
Like the last notes of a song
It is a shame
That we have to separate ways
That we're now on our own
You and I are now nothing
But an old memory
A black and white photograph
Slowly fading into the background
I'm so sorry for this goodbye
We both know it's for the best
Because if we keep up this love
I'm afraid we'll both sink deeper
Into the depths of pain
And endless melancholy
So now, our hands are drifting away
My eyes brimming with tears
Your lips turning into a frown
Our hearts slowing its beat
We bid farewell to our past
We leave all the pain behind
As we approach a new day
A new tomorrow
A new future
Without the warmth
Of each other's embrace
The burning presence
Of each other's company
And the glowing love
That we once shared
Still, I thank you
You made me love
Like no other has done
Let's not be too bitter
About this separation
Because good things
Await us in the end
Of this tragic story
We'll be the very best of ourselves
Even without each other
Goodbye, my sweet love
Happiness is on its way
To make us smile again.
Crawl into my heart
There Will be No place more safe
To stay
As long as you'd like
I'll keep it warm.. For you to hide
When he left,
he took away with him
half of my heart.

I don't mean it literally
but why does it feel so physically real?
Put down that blade.
Put down that bottle or pills.
Don't you dare tie that rope.
Please stop.
I know you think you don't matter.
I know these days are getting hard.
I know you feel like God gets pleasure out of messing up your life.
I know you think no one will care, but you're wrong.
You're smart.
You're attractive.
You're funny.
You're weird but the best people are.
You're body is perfect the way it is.
You are not defined by your grades, your acne, your clothes, the scale, your imperfections.
You are beautiful and valuable and amazing whether you think you are or not.
If you are looking for a sign to stay, let this be it.
Please stop. Stay here and breathe and love life because your body loves you, feel your heart, your body loves you enough to keep it pumping.
So drink your favorite tea and go to sleep to your favorite movie in your favorite PJ's and wake up tomorrow and smile because you are still alive and you have so much to live for.
You will make it.
Stay here.
"Court, you can't die with him. You have to let go."

But what if I need to?
I can't go to that coffee shop without losing my ability to breathe, as if I was hanging next to you.
I can't  listen to "Chasing Cars" with thinking about lying next to you and forgetting the world and myself.
I see your cousin at school and I see so much of you in him.
I can't go to the movies without wishing our fingers were intertwined.
I see flowers on the side of the road and all I can remember is your parents in all black kneeling at an alter in prayer.
Snow globes, hot chocolate, super hero movies and all the things that reflect us pull me through our timeline and remind me that I can't bear to look at rocks without seeing your name in that stone.
I can't drink coffee without tasting your vanilla kisses.
I can't look at ropes or strings or laces or ribbons without seeing your body hanging from your ceiling.
You used to leave me with smiles and stupid jokes but on October 13th, all you left me with was our history. And now its slowly carving my name into a rock and that's all I've ever known about letting go.
I miss your bad jokes....oh God, especially your bad jokes...
Sometimes I would hold the hand that broke me, expecting it to be a barricade between me and a vehicle.

Sometimes I got so scared of the monsters under my bed,
but I didn't realize that I crawled into bed with one, expecting it to stop the nightmares it caused in the first place.

Sometimes it kissed my finger when I got a paper cut,
but never once did it cool the tobacco kissed burns on my arm.
Sometimes it whispered "I love you" with the same lips that screamed "You're worthless!"

I remember when I hated everything about it but I still craved it to stay.
I remember when it left, but its presence still breaks my bones and cuts my skin.
I still have nightmares and you still exist in the pictures my mom ripped off the wall.
maybe the secret to their love was that they didn't know they were in love
Can I not take

A compliment

Without questioning

Whether he means it

Look into the mirror

See what his eyes believe

Sees me as it is

Red lips he wants to kiss.
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