in a roundabout boat
on a roundabout sea
about to get around
to becoming a new me,

where the commonplace
is rare
and the air is so clear
I can see almost forever
when forever is near,

rocking to and fro
to the yonder
where I go
on a roundabout sea
roundaboutly slow.

I remember taking a shower in front of him, the water drizzling down my body all the way to my ******, while he stared at me.
He liked what he saw, because maybe he didn't expect me to get undress in front of him, to be so completely comfortable in front of a stranger I knew nothing of.
I was in my own world, where I owned this hurt, of fights of  dying loving and passion for a lover I'd left back home.
He would call me and hear the anger steaming from my voice, yet not once did he bother to question it, out of fear of the unknown, out of fear that maybe I'd decided I was fed up and wanted to leave him and quit what we both called love.

So here I was in front of a man, who was clothed yet I naked.
After my long shower, I led him to a room which I took power of, and gently kissed him on the lips, without thinking about anything, even though all I could think of was, "What are you doing?"

People always think that cheating is wrong, that its not worth it, and that you'll never meet Mr/Mrs right if you leave your legs loosely open for men or women to feast at.
But they never tell you of what you go through to get to that point in your life,
Its where the cheating stems from, its where the hurt grows, its the root of all pain and suffering knowing that you have to live with this lie when you go back home to him, to a man you once'd urged to be with, craved every undying moment with him...Now you hate yourself so much, and you hate him too for not trying to put up a fight for you two. So I'm sorry my love. I'm sorry I lied to you.

He sits down
His every breath weaved with sighs
He sees the sun outside
He sees children laughing and playing
He sees their smiling faces
He looks deep within
He can't seem to find it in him
He questions if this is what it means to be happy

My head is red
My eyes have pain
I've been drinking *** from dusk till dawn
Will I wake up in the morning?
The sky exploded in a blinding light
Stopping what would have become a fight.
A man I'd known from a time back when
Shook his head when he downed number 10.
Away, away, away we go.
Where will we end up?
Nobody knows.
We'll cross the seas
And collect our fees
Singing all the way through
Drinking our *** and having our fun while singing a dancing tune.
We'll dance a jig
And take a swig
Surrounded by jewels and ***.
Away, away, away we go
Where will we end up?
Nobody knows.
But away, away, away we go
Drinking our *** and having our fun.
Where will we end up?
Not even we know.

Pushing others away is your way of saying "I'm okay in my own way".
Let me build a box around me letting someone in only when things are getting lonely or maybe when i need advice to carry on on my own.
Let me make a friend, getting to know her end to end just to let her be alone through time watching wondering where the friendships gone.
In a haze I'm amazed with a heavy heart to see our friendship falling apart, yet little glimpses of hope arises when I'm thanked for being the friend who sees and understands, who supports and comforts.
How am i to understand where i stand?
Just let me be and i shall feel a little better in the end i hope...