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 Jan 2017 Gant Haverstick
hiraeth
why wont words come
i have things to say
i know my message

but nothing comes out
im angry and frustrated

i want to express and not feel
empty

but when i try to show what i feel it
refuses
to show it's self.

im alone and unable to share
no one will know no one can see

because my brain wont let me rhyme
my heart wont give me word
my soul doesn't have a rhythm

and when i turn to the comfort and
therapy
of poetry....

try to let it bee also it has been...

i'm empty.

no words
no rhythm

no rhyme
no reason
 Jan 2017 Gant Haverstick
L
Eyelids are heavy.

I can feel the full moon
eating away at my former self.

I’ve never felt so sick.
I’ve never felt so alive.
My body is crushed
must’ve gotten hit by a truck.
My head is bleeding.
My fists recently crushed something.
There’s a body next to me; knocked out and bruised.
I’ve never felt so alive.

Demon drugs.

2:30 in the morning
In the middle of nowhere.
I walk, each step echoes
like drums
like drums.
My fists want to crush something.
I’m bleeding.

Give me more demon drugs.
Give me more demon drugs.
Like drums, like drums;
give me more demon drugs.

I’m running now,
I can’t see anything.
My legs lead me into the void.
I’ll get shot, I’ll get killed, *****, eaten, loved.
I’ll **** whatever I find, I’ll **** anything that moves.

It’s cold. My blood is boiling. I’m sick.
I’ve never felt so alive.
I’ve never felt so sick.
My body is crushed.
I’m running, like drums, like drums.
I’m so hungry.

Give me more demon drugs.
Give me more demon drugs.
Like drums, like drums;
give me more demon drugs.

I’m so hungry.
I’m so hungry.
**** me. Hit me.
I’ll **** you.
I’m so hungry.

Give me your love.
Give me your drugs.
Demon drugs.

Give me more demon drugs.
-To ****'em with silence is to ****'em with words.
-The words that express the distress of blatant disrespect.
-A treachery, not against me, but the history his story tells.
-Under one crest, but I can't call family those without respect.
-However, these words concocted cannot come forth.
-For these few words actually feed the fire.
-A passion built on perseverance that's serves as precedence.
-This unseen fire my friend, is how you ****'em with silence.
 Dec 2016 Gant Haverstick
Eloi
My house is filled with ghosts,
That only I can see,
I try to tell my mother,
But she laughs at me.

They haunt my every step,
Whispering past events,
telling me their stories,
Filling me with worries.

I lay in bed at night,
Full of anxiety and fright,
That one of them might try to hurt me.

I see jet black figures in my mirrors,
And deformed silhouettes in my windows,
I close my eyes and pray for them to go away.

I guess I'm just intruding,
Living where they once did,
They have followed me around since I was a kid.

My mother takes me to the doctor,
Who diagnoses  me with schizophrenia,
Says' it's all in my head,
That I can't see anyone who's dead.

Locked in an institution for days,
They still wouldn't go away,
They never left my side,
They haunt me still to this day.
This is a true story, that happened to me not so long ago.
sleep melds
in a vat of night
    the streetlights are deathly still

unperturbed on this black book of silence
      tears tap-tap on your windowsill.
the waves roar,
toes cuddle the sand
and the shoreline invites legs
with licks of salty breaths.
in and out,
the tide sighs
while tiny tourists glide
on sail boats in the distance.
and ice cold coke,
and you.

the sea purrs,
the sun begins to set
along the dusty horizon.
laughter becomes muffled
and the sand now naked,
stripped of umbrellas,
leaving behind
only foot prints.
a half-melted strawberry sundae,
and you.
this is the only normal thing i think i have ever written
Kids running amuck in the streets,
burning lamps glistening to life with buzzes and beats.

Wonder and awe floats through their eyes,
a life of possibility calling loud and raw and they don't realize.

No vice infecting their dream,
no skewed perceptions morphing life into schemes.

Until they awaken one morning and gasp one deep breath,
and suddenly realize their childhood has finally left.
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