feel the muscles tensing there
softly hear my praises sing
raise my pulse, and pull my hair--
my body is a loving thing.

touch my neck: its hairs will raise
feel my goosebumps spread;
if your lips on mine should graze
i shall never join the dead.

but to you i'm only skin
and all my tears are not enough
to baptize me from how you've sinned
and how you took advantage, love.

Dear Bitter, Broken, me,

To the days that you have longed, but never received
To the days that you have questioned, but never conceived
To the days that you have sought freedom, yet still have not broken free.
To the days you have sought outcome, yet still have nowhere to be.

And to the days you have spent broken and battered; this might set you free

So Dear bitter, broken, you;

Courage, my friend.

Don’t die wondering
It might look like the end
but this is only the beginning.

We have to walk, even though it hurts.
But we can take our time
because I know it gets worse.    

Believe me, I get it.
We’re blinded by what we see, yes I get it.
A moment of silence for those who don’t get this.
I pray to God “can I please just forget this”

But now listen it won’t always be like this
Don’t fall for the words the enemy has prescribed us with
We’re consumed not immune to what we think is true
To the pain we sustain because it makes us feel good

So dear bitter, broken, me;

You’re a time bomb awaiting to break lose.
Confronting yourself wasn’t always the best thing to do,
Aware of the guilt and falsity of disregarding this book
I can’t bare its facts to what seems to be the truth.

I can’t stand this.
Why does it feel like I can never surpass this.
My broken heart and upset mind can’t comprehend
So dear bitter, broken, me is coming to an end

Lured and lusted to internet sociality
Upset and degraded because i’m not what instagram tells me to be
My life consisted of adversity in reality

I’m marked with scars
scarred for every reason that i’m not
Ive died on the inside allowing my outside to rot
It’s me and my sin until death do us apart

or so I thought

I flip the pages of the book of James
And I’m reminded about this love that never changed
But allow me to speak this truth for you
This grace, This love let it pursue you

We out to sought the truth of whether or not this God we speak of has truly existed
And trust me I wouldn’t speak of it if I didn’t already know this.
And it may sound crazy the way I say this but the relationship I have with my Jesus is more than just religion.

Believe me, He gets it.
A bitter, broken me, yes He gets this.

He showed me His scars,
Scarred for every reason I thought I was
Once died on that cross
For the bitter broken me that I once was

Simplicity at its finest
Complexity has no life in this

A love I thought I forgot
Was once reintroduced by the begotten son of God

Time is a dandelion sprouting up between jagged cracks in the sidewalk
It is a child ripping that dandelion from the ground
Time is standing at a truck stop between here and nowhere at midnight
It is the empty dark and the smell of gasoline
Time is fingers playing a black grand piano effortlessly
It is the splintering of the piano string
Time is a fluorescent, sterile doctor's office after a collapse
It is the "I'm so sorry"
Time is the green tiled bathroom with the broken shower curtain
It is the positive and it needs to be the negative
But time is not the ticking of the clock
But it is the sound that softly ricochets off the walls as you lie awake

every word
is bitter now
each slowly
turns to smoke
some fires take
too long to die
these ashes choke my throat

But bright hope begins to clear the flu
as brooms do sweep the hearth
stronger flames burst bright anew
And joy dances!
Sing my heart!

There are demons in your closet
It is obvious to me
You left the door wide open
Setting those ******* free

Anger lashed out first
With razor sharp claws
Shredding the unsuspecting
Without hesitation or pause

Beneath him is resentment
Forever locked up tight
Hidden within for years
Now more than ever, ready to fight

Betrayal weighs heavy
Taking up the most room
Can’t sweep it under the rug
There isn’t a big enough broom

Don’t disregard the guilt
Or forget about shame
These two big players
Are leaders of the game

Amidst the whirl wind of chaos
And the fury of rage
A broken heart exposed through fear
Makes its way to center stage

Vulnerability is waiting
She can keep your closet clean
Nourish you with love
Making those demons less mean

As the spotlight shifts its focus
There seems nowhere to hide
Will you crawl back into darkness?
Or simply swallow your pride?