No longer makes her heart race, stomach churn, or knees tremble.
It is like hearing the door open, and his voice float down the hall as he says,
There is a certain Beauty in Brokenness
And Purpose in Pain.
After all this time,
It wasn't you breaking my heart.
I held the hammer even when you were gone.
She lay naked and raw in the back of his car with all her clothes on.
Every time we meet,
There's an awkward pause between each word said
as if it was rehearsed a thousand times in our heads.
There's a tension that pulls us together,
but keeps us apart forever.
You look at me
no longer with love.
Searching to see
an opportunity to leave.
"I miss you. I always have and always will. Please come back to me."
Of course, I don't say this out loud
because I know you don't want to hear it.
As a matter of fact,
you don't care enough to not want it anymore.
I make up an excuse that we both know isn't true.
But you let it go
because us being friends is all for show.
You did a hell of a good job convincing me that you love me.
*What a fool I was to believe.
You told me I didn't love enough,
So I changed.
I told you you didn't love enough,
So you left.