i am a work of art only a true artist can handle

i run
and i run
and i run
and when i turn back shes still there
i keep running
but i can never escape her
she knows me too well
because she is me
the old me
but i keep running anyway
and running
even though i know
i can never out run myself

my veins are the strings of a violin
yearning so desperately to be played
by that sharp silver bow
knowing that every stroke is one more scar
every cry is the music that my broken symphony of a body releases as a call
a call for help, a call for safety
every breath is music that my ears crave and
my orchestra has just begun
the drums in my chest begin to play a tune i’m way to familiar with
the cymbals in my head crash with every beat
my legs shake from every vibration
the symphony has started
i reach for my bow so i can begin
i start with a tune thats comfortable
eager to release my energy i play
and with every stroke my symphony slows
the cymbals stop crashing
the drums fade
and the orchestra has come to a stop
i release my bow and look at what i have created
i read the lines on my skin like lines of sheet music
the songs of sadness have stopped and im finally at peace
i know the consequences of being a composer
but my art is so addicting

i'm not supposed to miss you
i'm not suopposed to care
i’m not supposed to live my life
wishing you were there.

i’m not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do
i'm sorry i can't help it
because i'm in love with you.

when you look into my eyes and search for me, just know you cannot find me for i am locked away in a room that has no key

you wrapped your hands around my throat and told me to breathe

i want to walk and make flowers bloom around me with every step

you told me youd love me for all that i am but i guess im just too much

you gifted me a sunflower
the petals were a hue ive never seen before
they had a glow brighter than the sun
so i kept it and rooted it deeply in my heart
i watered it and helped it grow
and one day you told me you didnt love me anymore
and suddenly those petals became dull
and the flower began to droop
i tried to water it back to life
but it was no use
i tried to pick it out
but it was rooted too deep
so there remains the sad sunflower
in the deepest pit of my chest
a reminder of something i no longer have
you