You’re not a poet because you know those ‘fancy’ words
You’re a poet because every word you write comes straight from your heart

You’re not a poet because people admire your work
You’re a poet because you write for your own contentment and not for people's consent

You’re not a poet because you feel alone
You’re a poet because pen and paper are your biggest companions

You’re not a poet because you understand emotions better
You’re a poet because you let them flow freely

You are not a poet because you’ve failed in love
You’re a poet because you’ve been in love deeper than anyone else

You’re not a poet because you are strong
You’re a poet because you don’t hide your weaknesses

You’re not a poet because you can heal hearts
You’re a poet because you know what it means to be broken

It has been five months since we have talked last
and I have come to the conclusion that

I was wrong.

There is nobody left for me to blame anymore.

I have come to terms with the fact that
I acted like a child and that my behaviour
was toxic.

I understand,
now,
why our situation
ended up this way
and
that the reason for all
of this distance
was

my own unforgiving misery.

You see,
I tried to convince you to love me.

My ego made way
for my downfall
and
at the end of the day
all I can say
is that-

I do not blame you for not bothering to call.

Truth be told,
you probably did not want to hear my voice
and when it came to picking up the phone;
I probably did not even have the *****.

I was a small man acting in
selfish ways
wondering why
someone as
right as rain
would not give me
the time of day.

I labelled your innocence
as ignorance
when I was the one
in denial,
all alone.

And all along the time
I had chased after you-

I had lost sight of what I wanted to become.

Those that lack compassion will never
utilize their second chances
and I am not saying this to be romantic
I am just letting you know what is true;

the only difference between

love &
        hate
                is

what you see inside of you.

My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.

I guess
I'll go back to poetry
now that
the real thing is ending

It's hard to lose touch
when you finally found it
hard to imagine
being content
staring at computer eyes
and typing can never
replace her flesh and blood hand

yet the reality is we must part after meeting
so brief the moment
so unsweet the parting
I may write a poem full of tears
I may tear this **** keyboard apart

trying to make it all real once more
her feel her heart her love for me.

I have many problems in life
What to eat
What to wear

But my main problem
My main problem is that I Care

I care about my car
But I don't care about me
I care about my grades
But I don't care about me

I care about my parents
But I don't care about me

I love and care those I call my friend
But I don't care about me

I care
But I don't care about me

My car can't care about me
My grades don't give a **** about me

My parents have four others
To care for before me

My friends have their own life
And people to care about

And this I understand

But I don't understand
Why each and every day
I put myself through Hell
And I don't know if I'll make it back

And I do that for all these things
These people
Because I care

I care that they make it through
I care that they are alright

So I care for all of these people
But I don't care about me

Once again
A chapter draws to a close
But unlike before
This chapter could be a story of its own

From new faces
Who became family
To learning
I can write

From the pain
Of losing friends
To learning
Some things can never be made right

But now the chapter's closing
The story is coming to its end
My newly found family
Has a new path to follow
But I guess even from afar
They'll be my inspiration to write

So as the chapter comes to a close
And the final pages are turned
The last memories are made

And with me
All of them
Will Remain
Forever