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Fang Xuyokuna Mar 2016
Lessons learned and losses spurned;
Burned are the sweet-nothings you often heard.
Mired in a conflict never-ending,
Stuck between loving and merely pretending.
It takes all I have to pretend I don't love you when you're around. You see through me. You are not fooled.

"Better is open rebuke than hidden love." -Proverbs 27:5
Nov 2015 · 826
On Thoughts
Fang Xuyokuna Nov 2015
Infest for fest; instead fester.
Rest yourself in steadfast sequester.
Like insects swarm these thoughts overwhelm me. It takes all I have sometimes to keep them quiet.

Formerly part of a poem in progress. I removed it from the current draft but felt it was too good to go unpublished.
Enjoy!
Jun 2015 · 2.1k
House of Cards
Fang Xuyokuna Jun 2015
You've stacked the deck in your favor,
but if even one card shifts
the entire house comes crashing down.

Hitting as the dealer holds
you've folded, revealing your hand.
What a Joker you've become!

The bluff has fallen on deaf ears.
It is 4am and my best friend calls me in tears. I hope you're happy, because you've inspired this one.
Oct 2014 · 1.4k
You Called Me Last Night
Fang Xuyokuna Oct 2014
You called me last night
The first time in what felt like weeks
I answered the phone
And all I could do was listen to your voice.

The subtelty in the way you talk
The inflection of every word
The changes in your speech patterns

You're feeling better now...

I'm sorry, what did you say?
It was so nice hearing you again
I just wanted to take in as much of you as I could

The only thing I didn't take in were your words
In all the scrambling in my head to remember your voice
I wasn't ready to piece together your syllables

By the time I was ready, you left me speechless
Your parting words are all I remember now...

"Goodnight, I love you. I'll talk to you later, bye"
It's been a long night and it's almost morning. I've played it back thousands of times, listening to the way you said I love you. Am I crazy or did you really mean it?
Oct 2014 · 641
A Letter to a Lost Love
Fang Xuyokuna Oct 2014
It's cold in my room again
and I long for a warm body to keep me company
other than that I'm fine...

but listen to me
and I don't know what this means to you
I know what it means to me and that's all that matters right now.

I love you
and I'm still changing
and it scares me
I don't know who I am

I'm changing and I have only you to thank
Sincerely, thank you

If there's one other thing I know, it's this
When(if)ever I'm finished, I will be better for it

For you.

With Love and More...
It's amazing, and heartbreaking, what events one mistake can cause.
Sep 2014 · 2.0k
Af·fec·tion /əˈfekSHən/
Fang Xuyokuna Sep 2014
I've got an affection, this affliction
It's bringing me down,
But all the while I am bouyed by such an emotion.
It invades my mind, muddles my devotion-
Nearly makes all function impossible

This diseased mind has only one mission: to be with it's affliction- this affection, you see.
The only cure is in vaccination, filled exactly with what infection you bring
As it courses through my system, I can feel the sorrow soothe;
The panging in my heart stops...
Did my heart stop?

Yes,
This condition, no longer contagion
It makes me happy to say,
Is with sensation, fighting cessation...

Still my only ambition is for you, my love, to stay.
noun

1.
a gentle feeling of fondness or liking.

2. archaic
the act or process of affecting or being affected.
-a condition of disease.
-a mental state; an emotion.

Why is it, after 10 months, I find myself crying out at night in your name?
Fang Xuyokuna Jul 2014
In the daylight I mourn our friendship

In the night I mourn our love

At dawn I sleep
It's easier not to cry when the sun is up

— The End —