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 Nov 2016 Gracie Anne
complexify
MY WHOLE BODY IS SHAKING
OUT OF AGONY

but i'm sitting still
smiling at everyone.

MY HEART ACHED LIKE IT'S BEING STABBED BY THOUSANDS KNIVES

but i'm laughing along
pretending, faking.

I SCREAM INSIDE ABOUT THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR**

outside, i'm quiet
my eyes began to tear.
help me, please.
 Sep 2016 Gracie Anne
Hannah
Lost
 Sep 2016 Gracie Anne
Hannah
Have you ever been so lonely
Lost in the woods
But terrified to turn back
Because you know where you came from
The darkness is unbearable
Yet you hold yourself to the floor
Saying
Don’t give up…
Don’t give up…
Like moth to flames, I am to love.
But I often mistake a spark for a bonfire.
This horrible feeling
This constant reminder
Of how my life is not one worth living
So many mistakes
So many regrets
None is which can be returned to me
All I want is for this smile on my face to be real
I smile everyday
I laugh all the time
I say I'm happy
Although not once was it true
In 4th grade girls' minds
Is how to braid hair and jump rope
But in this 10 year old mind lays
Suicidal thoughts to no end
Except the one to unlatch
No source of it
Just the thought of
What's the point in life?.
No matter the direction we will take
Our roads will all meet in one spot
Death
The beautiful, breath-taking moment of
Death
The moment I'm longing for
But how will it come?.
A car accident?.
A heart attack?.
Will it be gruesome?.
Or will it be of natural cause?.
In my sleep?.
I don't care
I just want it to come
Come faster
I don't want this life I'm living
I don't care for it
And never will
I don't care if I will end up
In my own big white house
With matching white plates and bowls
That's worth more than the snowy white husky
And the an Audi R8 in the garage
Alongside my perfectly polished children and spouse
Who will never hear the idiotic thought of rebelling against me
Or if I end up living with no job
No fancy house
Or a car
Or family
If I'm all alone
Living in the streets
I don't ******* care
I just want the Grim Reaper to come take me
Take me with you
You have my soul to take
Just put me out of my misery
I can't stand being on this planet
In this universe
No strings attached
Please
I beg of you
Just help
Rid me of this
Forsaken worthless case of a life
I call my own
Because it is unwanted
It’s yours to take
And keep
 Aug 2016 Gracie Anne
Brent
P's
 Aug 2016 Gracie Anne
Brent
P's
a fair warning for you
if you are planning to
to fall in love with me
you fall in love with P's

if you fall in love with me
you fall in love with a pessimist
who believes that every single thing will fall apart
every bad thing is bound to happen
so please i ask
help me find the positives
in a world
where negatives are all i see

if you fall in love with me
you fall in love with a paranoid
who breaks almost every night
thinking about how wrong i could be
every choice
every decision
will be the worst one
so please i ask
to accept me
and convince me
that the world is not yet over.

if you fall in love with me
you fall in love with a p-ssy.
a coward
who's afraid to make the first move
who's ashamed to fail.
so please i ask
to wait for me
to be able to overcome my fears.

and lastly,
if you fall in love with me
you fall in love with a poet.
a writer
who's prepared to write everything
and anything
because sadly, that's all i'm good at.
so please i ask
to accept my love
in the form of words
and i will change myself.
i love you so ******* much yet i think you don't feel the same. at least, anymore.
 Aug 2016 Gracie Anne
Sarah Kline
i told them what happened
i cried in their faces
some said "you were wearing those leggings- you know what that was saying"
some didn't believe me at first but when the tears came they heard
the pain in my voice and they believed my words
some said i didn't deserve it but at the end of the day i willing put myself in the situation
'what the hell' i thought
'i have no support"
the group message was all complaints
about them being pulled from class to help my case
did they not see my pain?
i felt all alone
like no one believed that i had said the word "no"
or that i asked him several times if we could go
and he replied "no"
my consent didn't matter
when the only way out is to climb the ladder
that's what u should do
i couldve bit and i could have fought but i didn't see how when every boy i play fight w could pin me down
and i had just bought the pepper spray that was in the compartment between us

nobody believed me
maybe he did
but he still blamed the situation on me
when you say what you say all i hear is
"you got ***** bc you put yourself in the position too"
i knew it could happen
so does that mean i was asking for it?
no
^ that's the word he didn't understand
i want to puke, and sometimes cry
other times i'm numb and feel nothing inside
i can't be alone w my love now and not breakdown
i had a dream last night it happened again
except this time i told no one
because why go through the pain of telling it and re creating it to these people
if they aren't gonna believe ya
im laying in the dark and hoping that i can ball and cry reall soon
"thank for believing"
i got to say to no one ever
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