This horrible feeling
This constant reminder
Of how my life is not one worth living
So many mistakes
So many regrets
None is which can be returned to me
All I want is for this smile on my face to be real
I smile everyday
I laugh all the time
I say I'm happy
Although not once was it true
In 4th grade girls' minds
Is how to braid hair and jump rope
But in this 10 year old mind lays
Suicidal thoughts to no end
Except the one to unlatch
No source of it
Just the thought of
What's the point in life?.
No matter the direction we will take
Our roads will all meet in one spot
Death
The beautiful, breath-taking moment of
Death
The moment I'm longing for
But how will it come?.
A car accident?.
A heart attack?.
Will it be gruesome?.
Or will it be of natural cause?.
In my sleep?.
I don't care
I just want it to come
Come faster
I don't want this life I'm living
I don't care for it
And never will
I don't care if I will end up
In my own big white house
With matching white plates and bowls
That's worth more than the snowy white husky
And the an Audi R8 in the garage
Alongside my perfectly polished children and spouse
Who will never hear the idiotic thought of rebelling against me
Or if I end up living with no job
No fancy house
Or a car
Or family
If I'm all alone
Living in the streets
I don't ******* care
I just want the Grim Reaper to come take me
Take me with you
You have my soul to take
Just put me out of my misery
I can't stand being on this planet
In this universe
No strings attached
Please
I beg of you
Just help
Rid me of this
Forsaken worthless case of a life
I call my own
Because it is unwanted
It’s yours to take
And keep