like the stars in the sky that I admire
every night and miss when they’re gone.

like the trees, so green,
that let me breathe more clearly.

like the vast, blue ocean I stand before
that satisfies my hunger for something beautiful.

and like the red, beating heart in my chest
you keep me well and alive.

i always have
the urge to run.

but what is it like
to be a tree?

to be confident enough
to root yourself
and grow with
wild abandonment,
being unapologetically
you?

i'm still running,
but i wish i knew.

sand squishes between my toes
as ocean waves wash over them,
coming and going.

my thoughts come and go
with them—
i try hard not to
hold on too tight

but i just love the way it feels.

we walked through
campus together.
the sun was shining,
purple and gold
flowers lined our path.
in the fountain outside
of the library
birds were bathing
and the campus cats
were sitting in the
bushes, only admiring

because they know better than the boys on campus what not to touch.

just take some time to
unclench fists and soften gaze
you deserve to relax

and when you think you've tried it all,

dig deeper.

i'm not doing this on purpose
i just wish i knew
how to be a person without
having to think it all through.

i wander through my days
with a fog before my eyes
i don't know who to talk to
or if i'm even alive.

it's difficult to live when you
spend almost all your time
fantasizing about death
and that's the only real thought in mind.

i just wish i knew
who to be
where to go
what to do