Tall chairs, no backs
Short chairs, tall backs
Arranged in geometric mazes of social anxiety

Round arrangements of fruits, salad
Burgers, comfort foods on rotation
Fruity drinks, PUSH here
Infused water to dull the senses

Alone and lonely
Tall chairs
In front of a screen projecting my insecurities
Stalkers and murderers
A Lifetime of Crime

Friendly face appears around the corner
Handsome tanned face, ***** blonde hair
Eyes clear as blue-tinted topaz on a sunny day
Music had connected us once upon a night
Briefly
And here we are again

Sunday small talk
Over eggs sunny side up and the false illusion of a smile
Church, homework, moods of days
Then on the subject of RAs
"I met him before school,
As part of the Summer Bridge Program"

"I know, I came early too.
Now we're even."

In the cast of all my burdening sensibilities
We are even
You feel it too, don't you?
Pretty face, pretty eyes
All just lies

Sixty fakers masquerading as one of them
Beautiful girls with tanned skin
Hair masterfully tangled into curls enrapturing
The male focus
The boys with smiles brighter than summer clouds
Chiseled so well da Vinci would be proud
Striped cards glazed with a sweetness so thick
Masqueraders envy

Can it be spoken of?
Can I do this?
Can I do that?
Why do I even try?
They know I'm not like them
But I want them to like me
But my conscientiousness, my pride, my will to stay alive
Threatens to swallow me whole
Until all that's left is crumbs
Of guilt, self-consciousness and greed

I am an imposter
I'm always the one that's not like the others
Alienation

I want to reach out and caress them

But they're u n t o u c h a b l e

To those like me