The sinking feeling of an anchor dropping down to the bottom of the sea
Hopelessness
Waves slamming you against the shore again and again, gasping for air and only getting lungs full of sand
A lifeless body being spit out by the ocean
The tide gently caressing it
Like you would caress a sick child
Only to pull it back in
Where it will be swallowed by the depth
Remembered no more

I can’t look at your face.
It is a reminder of what almost was.
A reminder of the sweet words that flowed from your mouth.
A reminder of the times we spent in your car, driving to nowhere in particular. Your hand casually patting my leg in intervals during light conversation.
A reminder of your plans and seemingly eagerness to talk to me.
A reminder of what could have been.
I’m not sure what happened between now and then.
What caused you to drift away, the tide carrying you in. Leaving not even a trace.
Do I miss you? Or do I miss how you made me feel?
You made me feel light and hopeful. Like I finally found it this time.
Like I found the one who would stay.
But you didn’t.

I have fire and stars in my veins
oceans in my mind
sparkling and shimmering
reflecting the morning sun
Inside of me are whole worlds
But it takes time
For me to reveal this side of me
Pull me back
Layer by layer
and soon you will see
The light streaming through the cracks
The water streaming out to caress your feet
Please be patient with me
I am worth the effort
The raveling and unraveling of my soul
is a process
and if you stay long enough
You will see

As summer's warm light began to fade, I felt you beginning to reach out. Warmth and light conversation filled the air, I floated on a cloud filled with hope. Than summmer began to flicker, and finally went out, and you disappeared. I wonder how many times you are to vanish before you are here to stay. I wonder how many times I am supposed to let you slip through my fingers before your fingers are permanently in mine.