She's so beautiful,
I'm speechless,
So, I'll write
About her.

we shouldn't spill our secrets like we spill our drinks, reckless

it was the season of the sun and all I could think about was her
the girl with eyes so beautiful you couldn't even describe them
the season of flowers in every kind of color, long nights and butterflies
the summer always was the most magical time of the year

riddels are just riddels and words are just words
you can compare it with the water in a river, the waves in the sea
all these things are just like the stars twinkling in the dark of the night

things are just things untill someone gives a meaning to it
and for me you gave everything in my life a meaning
that moment when you came around love wasn't just love
I can give you all my heart without getting anything back
and still this person would make me feel more complete

we both knew how it felt to be obsessed with someone
and maybe it was a dangerous thing to began with
but everytime I saw you walking away from me
my love for you began to grow, a little more, every single day
it came to a point that I didn't wanted to share her, with anyone
not even with my bestfriend, she needed to be mine, only mine
and I know she felt this way about me too, this need to have someone
maybe our love is a little bit cursed or a little bit mad maybe crazy

oh well oh well

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

I thought I could swallow my fear,
But I guess you could taste it in my kiss.

I'm an anxiety driven teen ****-up.
I let my fears drag me on a leash.
I make the wrong choices in every situation
And I can never really sleep.

My meals consist of nothing.
I feel overweight and unclean.
I feel mostly suicidal
But I can't **** myself
I'm afraid of the unseen.

I am a walking paradox.
Tired but won't sleep.
Hungry but won't eat.
I am the embodiment of stupid
But isn't that every teen?

I'm an anxiety driven teen ****-up.
Just give up on me and leave.
Tear me up into pieces,
And run from the crime scene.

Train of thought
Intertwined with the ebb and flow of thoughts forgot
In the purity  of that empty space between your brows
In the shapeless darkness  where feelings allow
Reality to abstract itself
Re-arrange and interact with itself
Here in the pits of imagination and firing synapses
I lost who I was
But found who I came here to be