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I've hated you for cutting your veins open
while i was the one handing you the knife
August 30, 2014
WAJ
I´m just an expert
in letting nice things go.
- w.a.j.
I always seem to find the rain in every rainbow.
© WAJ
Jun 30 2014
The night is racing
Like the coke that's going trough my nose
My veins are transparant
Just like the thoughts i share

I'm in your arms crying
In silence listening
To whatever sound breaks the discomfort

I don't want to **** right now
Let me just play another indie song
Till the light shines through my curtains

Picking up all the bottles from yesterday
Cleaning up the left up powder on the table
And you tell yourself it's fine
That night made perfect sense after all
You're like wodka
to me, I'm addicted
I need you more
each and every day
to keep my heart
from ever feeling
hopeless or
unwanted.
Jun 24 2014
© WAJ
Finding love

is like spotting 2 rainbows at the end of the road
like finding a typo in a book
or crying but not ******* your makeup up
like getting those annoyingly catchy song out of your head
like trying to stay completely sober at a party or
trying to concentrate at an exam when you hear penclicks
and stomach noises like there's a war going on inside them

Finding love
is like smoking cigarettes in the rain
or writing a song without chords or even words
like getting lost in this small village of 2 streets long

Finding love
is like forgetting the thought of you
when that's the only thing i can think about during the days
Finding true love is like loving you without missing you
Like doing things without receiving the endless strings of consequences
or like explaining yourself when you don't even understand it
or like getting your **** together when you're completely lost

Finding true love
is finding someone along the road
that falls for you as hard as you did for them
And they'll fit so perfectly like one long lost puzzle piece
That it makes you feel like you were made for each other

The feeling of confirmation that someone loves you so unconditionally
It's even better than knowing all the secrets god knows
It's like spotting 2 rainbows at the end of the road

It's so **** hard
And even harder for those who are looking for it
But when true love is found you must cherish it till death

Because finding true love is so hard to find
Winter 2k15
Turn the lights out

Touch me in the dark

kiss me at midnight

and taste the whiskey on my tongue

pour wine all over my body

and taste it with your warm soft lips

kiss me gently in my neck

as your fingers are dancing under my clothes

making me crave you more and more

dont say anything

your lips on mine say much more

no ocean can extenguish our burning hearts

no freezer can refrigerate this hot desire

I don't know life nor death

day nor night, right nor wrong

I only know that I want you so bad right now

everything else is irrelevant and forgotten
Jun 21 2014
© WAJ
I’m bitter
Bittery sweet
Like an iced latte with caramel syrup
Extra caramel syrup for me please
So I can subdue all my worthless anger
It’s been a while
I still matter, do I?

If I only could
I would make a deal that you would kiss me for just one last time
You used to look at me with ur heart
And you would fill mine with joy
Eventually your heart grew cold
And i would feel myself getting paralyzed
In the frost
And you left me behind

Where did you go
Our happy days seem so long ago
Yet we're still sleeping in the same sheets
Yet i still smoke to eliminate stress
But it's only a timekiller

It's just a waste. waste. waste.
I should walk away
But if you call for me
You know i'll come
But you're already gone
Just fearing one day soon
You'll be gone forever
And i'll sit there in silence
Smoking my last cigarettes
His  h a n d s  were so beautiful
Rough, like a first-time bikecrash
Manly, bruised, ragged cuticles
Curiously wandering trough
this undressed  f o r e s t
Exploring every part with soft touch
Tryna reach for the appletree
Craving for that fresh taste
When he's giving me  h e a d
on the unmade bed

Slowly   s i n k i n g
further and further into his love
It  h e a t s  me up
My bones become gelatin
His breath becomes my  o x y g e n
Our heartbeat becomes a melody
His maddening eyes watching me ***
Goosebumps appear all over my skin
This feeling is so confusing and ineffable
Yet so   e u p h o r i c   and intense
it can't be explained
We're two lights burning on one candle
Together, we melt
into this burning desire
for  e a c h   o t h e r.
-- WINTER ALLEN JANE
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."

                                                                                        
                                                                                                -Roald Dahl
I drove with jesus and the devil in the backseat
I decided to let the devil take the wheel
because i didn't know the difference between black and white
and we drove so fast that the stars looked big
too fast for me to even say my last words
as we drove

                                                          ­                         off a  c l i f f.
3. 7. 2014
© WAJ
I broke your heart once.
And then you broke mine.
Every man gets his wish, right
I find it very strange
how we are all made
from the same elements
formed out of stardust
shaped bones covered in skin
so how come
some girls are pretty

And I'm not
Jun 23 2014
- ( w.a.j. )
We cannot prevent people from falling in life
Blinded by our own salted skin and crunching bones
And only notice the wounds on someone's face
when they knock on our door
and ask if they can borrow a plaster

I can only watch you with deep s y m p a t h y
when your scarred heart gasps for breath
if only I can heal your p a i n
if only I could catch you whenever you fall
but I'm just another helpless creature
expecting myself to be m o r e
and guilt appears faster than rain on car windows
and my heart goes up in the flames of grief
the guilt grows damp before my eyes
plasters do not heal w o u n d s
want to bury them deep down with me
your misfortunes are mine
My crooked heart knitted to y o u r s
And I just want to say that I'm really sorry
for letting you f a l l
I should've hold your hand more tightly
I couldn't swim and you jumped in

                                                             ­                  and I couldn't s a v e you

we always know everything afterwards
so we cannot prevent our people from falling
We can run as fast as we can
but time is faster than realization

                                                    ­              We are either  d e a d  or  l a t e.
Jun 17 2014
© WAJ
We had nothing to lose,
nothing to gain,
nothing we desired anymore;
except to make our lives into a
work of art.

- L. Del Rey
Sad
Sad
she broke out in tears
I didn't know what to do
so I gave her my cat
bc my cat never failed to comfort me


when i'm sad.
Jun 18 2014
© WAJ
''****** attraction is confusing, maddening, euphoric, even dangerous.
It drives people to extreme behavior, even unspeakable crimes.

The beating pulse, the sweating palms, the rise of chemicals in the brain are the symptoms of a much deeper, more mysterious affliction.

The mechanism that chooses and controls the objects of ****** desire can only be found in the heart of the unexplained''
Not by me
I just want to get drunk with you in the middle of the night
And stare at the none-ending universe
And wonder how we are just a small molecule
if we compare ourselves to the whole galaxy
and all the places we didn't discover yet
the whole wide world is just at our feet

I just want to have those late night calls with you
Where we tell our stories once again
And I'll listen to your voice
till we both fall asleep

I just want to laugh and cry with you
Laugh about those stupid metaphorical love poems
But i'm such a hypocrite because i'm writing that **** now
I used to joke about those corny cliche lines every poets uses
to describe their lovers, like their ocean blue eyes or
their cherry red lips and how they're so madly in love
So joke if you must
But i'm liking those poems nowadays
Because every poem is starting to remind me of you

I just want to cry with you
crying about those songs which we don't even know the lyrics to
but just because the song is so beautiful
the beauty of the melody and how the words fit so nicely along with it
I dig that ****

I just want to have endless conversations with you
About the questions only god knows the answer to
And always argue about our disagreements
And **** boy, you are so stubborn
But you probably think the same about me

I just want to explore your mind
Read every page of your book
And every little thing no one else sees
Your mind is like a labyrinth
It's just so confusing and ****** up like mine
But i'll find my way
And the more i learn about you
the more i'm starting to fall in love

I just want to describe the wonderful person that you are
and to analyse every little thing you do
And notice your beautiful features
but when i look at your face
it feels like my mind just stops thinking
like writing songs without chords
lost words and unfinished sentences
And when i look in your eyes
I see a galaxy with countless stars and i just get lost
And the only thing i could possibly write down is that
Boy you're so **** amazing
And I think I love you
There, I said it. I feel so relieved now
Cause i always hated to admit that

I just want to wake up next to you
Each and every day
And to start a new day and a new life with you
And i know there are so many places we didn't discover yet
And so many long roads to wander on
And if a car ever crashes into us
I wouldn't mind dying that night
cause to me it seems like such a heavenly way to die
Just right there, in your arms
Feeling nothing but peace

And even if we were going straight to hell
I wouldn't ever be scared, I wouldn't even doubt it
Cause when i'm with you

Everything is fine.
I haven't written for a while so it feels good to be back. Even though this is not some great masterpiece, but just my thoughts lately.  

Winter 24.4.2015
I watch my reflection in the mirror
with my pale blue eyes
watching my lifeless stature in the dark
bones made out of gelatin
and my heart out of fragile glass
that breaks everytime i see myself

My fingertops softly touch my face
Tears keep coming faster
till my waterlines are overflowing
My nails grow sharper
and my fingers cramp
digging holes under my eyes
I want to shatter my bones
And burn my skin to ashes
I want to rip the hair from my scalp
as well as all the pages
filled with frustration
scratching and screaming
I have to be pretty

but the need for it grows
as well as the demons inside my soul
They cannot ever be satisfied
And that makes them depressed
They try to run from it but fail to escape
Instead of running they need to defeat the monsters
with guns

Jun 29 2014
© WAJ
I am not the type of person that can easily hide
And I am not the type of person that can hold their tongue tightly
But for you i shall wring it like a wet towel
so all the dark cropped up secrets drip out
And I will put them in a tiny box with a lock
And I will throw the key away in the ocean of trust
I shall live in the goldness of remaining silent
Your terrifying dreams and your secret stories are safe with me
And I won't ever share them with any other person but you



&                           
I hope you do the same with me.
I have  f a i t h  in you, just like you have  f a i t h  in me.

July  7th  2014
WAJ
Your drafts are always better than your poems
Even if i would make myself prettier
And even if all the boys would want me
If only you will look at me again
With the same dreamy eyes as yesterday
you are not a name
or a height, or a weight
or a gender
you are not an age
and you are not where you are from

you are your favorite books
and the songs stuck in your head
you are your thoughts
and what you eat for breakfast
on Saturday mornings

you are a thousand things
but everyone chooses
to see the million things
you are not

you are not
where you are from
you are
where you are going
and i'd like
to go there
too

- m.k.
these are only for my collection

— The End —