is it too much to ask
that i hold your soul
in the palms of my
shaking, nervous hands?

is it possible
to kiss someone & take their breath away
yet somehow breathe life into them?

you gave me an imperfect heaven
and i loved every second of
the flourishing fantasy
because you make me feel good
and warm
and wanted
so i ask that you let me do the same.

i wanted to get lost in your kiss
and feel the way love does
when she finally gets her way;
i wanted to *******
just to be a little closer
to what i could never have
you.

-the flourishing fantasy

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i am dizzy and watch the sun burn in hot pink fire
i watch the skies orange hues
spark rage onto the tips of the trees,
and there is some light
dimmed and green and ever-glowing
that I find myself drawn to;
a black and mossy demon, a shape-shifting lover.

when you approach this calmed heart
please hold it gently;
remember that i am here-
and when you fail to see the wind waltz through your bedroom window
know it still flows-
somewhere a world catches drift of your dreams
and you inspire thousands.

i see you in the swirls and patterns that engulf me
and i sense the desperation for confirmation but for now
i'm watching the clouds roll by like motion-picture movies;
and they tell my favorite stories

through this fire, i smile.

-through this fire

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when i love
i throw myself in flames

but i've learnt that
i don't need to

i can save that passion
i can save myself for someone
i choose

i am my own hero.

-realizing the hero

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how can someone be that powerful
to ******* steal your breath away
without warning, without physical harm;
no closure, other than your ******* ignorance-

how the **** could you do that?

-how

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she asks me why i keep looking behind
closed doors
and i don't want to say but
i keep looking for something unbruised
or a distant feeling that's been renewed
or i don't know

a past memory. maybe an old life.

she asks me why i keep looking behind
closed doors
and i struggle to say that i miss the past.
that everything i lost was really all i had and
i miss it. i miss them.
i miss every time someone made me genuinely smile

i miss the times where people bothered to try.

she asks me why i keep looking behind
closed doors
when i know there's nothing of substance
and i don't want to say that
i find out a new disappointing fact every time
i peak behind that door,
an outstanding opportunity to break my heart,
an old smile that feels like happiness when i tend
to revisit,
and a part of me believes my care could revive it.

that's why i keep checking behind closed doors.

that's why ill beat the door down, until i can see right through it.

-behind closed doors

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i can't help but be filled with poison
every time you strike me
because when you do its like
a thunderstorm has hit
and my delicate body was
decaying land
that couldn't possibly stand
the lightning.

-it keeps crashing

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you leave me gasping for eternity in our darkened slumber and I fall deeper into this mystical feeling. the tenderness trails my body and i can't stop melting into the covers while you hold my head. bright eyes can't deceive me anymore an somehow i was gifted with yours, free of lies. i see a universe of hope and fanaticism and calmness that something about it entices me to stay. there's nothing left but tired. sleepy nights after making love when you let me stay;

and you held me.. and i felt real again.

-i love melting into you

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