We drink alcohol
and smoke cigarettes
and kiss stupid boys
that don't care about us
Just to forget about
life
We want to feel the rush
the adrenalin
because in reality
we have that boring job
and that one stupid boy
that doesn't text back.
reality hurts
and we don't want to feel pain

How many times
are you going to smash your face
before you realize
you can't walk through
a closed door?

" you're not mature enough to handle it"
so apparently, I'm old enough to handle a back-breaking amount of schoolwork, the stress of living up to your expectations and that of two dozen relatives, the standards of a dysfunctional society, but NOT one, single BOY.

2. " it distracts you from your studying"
well no, not really.
Do you know what really is distracting, though? having to keep your favourite people a secret. all day every day. The anxiety of being discovered gnaws at your very existence. Deleted chats, deleted phone logs, deleted feelings. suppressing your emotions long enough to brainwash myself into thinking I don't care about him anymore. and YOU think I'm acting differently these days?

3. " it's not part of our culture."
since when did love become a foreign commodity? we are but robots with our hearts switched off till the age of 20. And when a trail of incomplete relationships shadows us everywhere, we're left fending for ourselves. Just cos no one taught us to love others right.

All I need is money from the bank to buy a rocket, and then the moon is ours

we lie awake for the same reasons we fall asleep,
the haunting feeling of the past,
the unsureness of the future,
the unchangeableness of the present,
our eyes remain open and it reminds us of our past mistakes,
the ones we want to change but never will,
it reminds us of what used to be so easy;
living freely.