i'd rather get drunk
to the sound of your voice
but here i am
listening to music
on the midnight train home
all the good nights
and sleep tights
can't mask the ending
that began when we met

it came out of nowhere
like the arrival of summer showers
the bicycle speeding round the corner
my favourite song playing on the radio
i wasn't prepared for you
the way i wasn't prepared to start anew
you're the scent of spring rain
morning coffee
you're my sweet death
and i'm not ready

it's summer again
i met someone else
he'll become my summer
like you were my spring
in the clockwork seasons
we met and we loved
i used to fill pages with you
now i'm flipping the page
if i loved you
let it become a memory

when you walk away
i'm still head over heels for you
still feel my heart skip a beat
still feel my stomach dropping out
like that time we went on the roller coaster
and i saw the skyscrapers upside down with you
i still feel the butterflies
still think about the what-ifs
still wonder what i did wrong
still think about you
but you're walking away
and i don't know how to go after you

the walk to the beach is a long way
we pass by no one on the roads
the stars are a little forlorn
i look up at you but you don't look at me
we pass by an empty shopping cart
who left it there?
i push it along because it looks a little lonely
and it's not nice to be lonely at 4am
i know
you don't ask how  
but i wish you would
it's a very long way to the beach

when we get there
i'll still be empty
but i'll watch you turn golden
you, you were made for the sun

jack-frost blue on snow white
circles of grey around midnight black
against the velvet night sky
the silent constellations
i fell
and fell
and fell

i bathed in your irises
but my feet couldn't reach the bottom
and when i tried to surface
the air was frigid
slicing my consciousness into ribbons
i took a breath
the chill seeped in
first it was my toes
then my legs
my stomach
my fingers
my arms
my chest

then you blinked
the ice fractured
and i
i shattered from the inside
out