I don't want to be

Him, over there showing his scars off like some badass


Or her over there the loner, but beyond the truth she has more skeletons in her closet than you

Or the other person in the corner
Hiding from the world and thinks it's fine, but daylight is burning

Or the guy whose in denial, doesn't want to learn and thinks everything is fine In the current situation

I can't keep up

Seek what we sunk

Time lacks patience

But to define myself as a whole person

Accepting these perfect flaws and let them worsen

I have to chose and unwillingly
Have already chosen

You think you can beat me

See my flaw is not revenge its spite its the passion of proving you wrong the makes it ignite

I gotta remember

I'm not one of them

I have to be something different

Something better than

A person that text and goes on social media more than a 9 to 5 job to fill an aspiration

But I can't be the one who mocks those who social "medialize" and make my own words up just to show how pathetic they are

By far

I'm the worst

I dislike favoritism

So I can't fully tolerate relationships

And don't have the patience for lovey dovey antics

Or just some pet peeves

You don't have to end it I will leave

Oh and the self loathing

What a hypocrite am I

I go with whatever works instead or what my true self wants

A color without colors

However like you on facebook or you who have accomplished an amazing feet some much that an applause is needed

You are not special

And those who claim to be tied to no soul and blatantly put Yan in my life and theirs

You're not special

And through this raving and ranting of useless words making the sentences and sentences that make phrases to let me borrow the holy power of the context of these words

You are not special

It doesn't make a difference

I'm never going to be different

Why am I not Happy?
I live a good life.
Good Friends,
Good family,

Good everything.

I'm not hungry
I'm not worrying about my medicine
I have a roof over my head.

But why am I not happy then?

Is it because of that whispering thought
Your friends think your annoying
Your parents are tired of you
You're ugly.

And you feel even sadder.

But then that other voice pipes in.
What are you doing!?
Why are you feeling so sorry for yourself?!

And you become guilty

What are you doing?!
You have a house and clothes
Food and medicine
Stop moping around!

And you feel even worse

You start aching
When you walk
And when you breath

And you become tired.

And soon, crying is every day
You can't tell anyone
And soon you feel the worst part
Of this vicious *****

Now you're alone.

Everything we see is
it’s pristine essence
casting the same light
from the womb of darkness.

Gripped by the dolor of a glaucous sky,
love's longing reminds us
that nothing is ever truly lost
to anything less
than the visual acuity of a heart.

Unseen signs never give up
their quest for being seen.
With a slight tilt of the head,
the light of the heart changes...
and so does everything,
everything.

My focus shattered into fractals
without kaleidoscopic sense.
No sensual words, no image tactile
having meaning two days hence.

Now lights were always on,
Beyond my bed of sky.
Soul to pavement, pounding,
the hourglass near dry.

I forget you enjoyed my silence,
I was early, she says late.
But let's not dwell on me,
It was all about you, Kate.

Whisperings of constant doubts,
Curdle our shared air.
Caged passion,the ache of breathing
but soon I won't be there.

Then typing is your weakness,
Rain mirrored in the glass,
Is that what Daddy taught you?
Your word is less than last.

But if I could be remembered,
Forgive, my missing place.
Recall the touch of guilty hand,
Upon your fading face.