mum's in the big bed
da's on the living room couch
i'm the hall between

Our cycle of grit and grind
The brutal societal kind
Left the warm insides dry
To want ***** on the fly

Stretch the muscles sore
Yet he runs back for more
Forget the need to vent
Boy, you need to pay rent

Those arms toned healthy
By street dancing and Tai Chi
Are used as gears of machines
Or to wipe **** ***** clean

Those great young Picassos
Or those potential Platos
Have their way to top so steep
Since ideas and art are cheap

Those beautiful people
Paid to lend their *******
To wolves of superior collar
Proudly sorted by the color

The herd united in this song
La la la, there's nothing wrong
We are all numb as hookers
The system—the avid customer

the dank soil tightened
scent of relief after rain
sunset burned like sighs
in time the gray sky turns blue
so do the streaks in their eyes

You never knew me as well as you thought you did
You only saw the side I wanted you to see
You saw the moon glowing in all her glory
Worshiping her more than she deserved
You didn't see the dark side
The side that didn't deserve praise and flattery
That left me with guilt
Because you were praising only half of me, thinking it was all of me

You never knew me as well as you thought you did
You always expected me to be the happy, bubbly person I could sometimes be
You thought something was wrong when I wasn't how you wanted me to be
"I'm fine" I say. And I really was.
Why can't I have my quieter days?
It can be exaughsting to be happy all the time
Sometimes I want to be expressionless

There were things I liked that you didn't know about
And there are things I have done that you didn't know about
If I told you, would you have seen me differently?
I know you would.

You never truly knew me
You only think you did
If I asked you a question about me, would you know the answer?
Probably not.
You knew what you saw, not the facts
You knew the moon glowed bright, but quickly forgot that there are two sides.
Just like you forgot that every cycle the moon goes dark.
It doesn't glow or shine brilliantly
It doesn't bathe you in moonlight and light your path
It leaves you blind in a night without shadows, without light

You knew the full moon, you never saw the New
Cause if you did, you would have left me alone

lately
I haven't been writing
like I used to
it used to be a flow of words
love or hate didn't matter
I just loved it when
the words
landed on the paper
elegant like butterflies
but now
they turned into rocks
scratching the paper
hurting my mind
they change
every poem I write to

please like me
please like
me please like me
please like me please
like me
please

you are happiness-
like ice cream on a hot day,
green lights when running late,
new countries & new friends.
you are comfortable like a rainy Sunday afternoon,
smooth legs & soft sheets,
the sweet scent of a newly-lit candle.
i know it's early but
you make me feel safe
and i could get used to your arms being my second home.
i think of the feeling of your warm hand on mine
and that is what i feel-
home.

Do I know your name?
Don't be shy, I am tame
Have you seen the raven
Flying inside the haze?
Or  the black cat
Walking through the buzz?
Maybe the white wolf
Laying in the alleys?

No, I guess you don't
You don't remember do you?
Don't remember the faces or the places
Of mistaken voices, misplaced memories
Gas-lighting has done a real number on you.

They told me about you
Your little white bunny
You tried to escape me
Wanted to be free
Thought that people
Would hide you from evil
You thought I was that evil, huh.

But a word of advice from a sage conjurer

Don't try to glide through the crowd,
I don't want to see you drown.
I want you to escape
This fool's paradise.



© Sofia Villagrana 2018