11/4/2017

third floor balcony the highest it goes
we stood– he said earlier
the top staircase is good luck

just her and i smiling leaning on railing
talking about everything:
who gives a **** but we did and we do

the night was brand new- sitting
joking the apartment was an ***** den
smoking your lucky cigarette, you paused

and i thought is this the best we're ever gonna get?
you hand it back to me,
i breathe remember last time i was here

we walk back in,
they laugh and talk about how they're out
of beer

she asks if i want my makeup done
and how the others will be here soon
i can only think of the dead leaves

i saw on the courtyard from the stairs
and wonder which one fell
first.

I have talked to heaven
May I live there, even
May I sing an evening song
in the beautiful garden,
May I enjoy them long?

I have talked to the moon
May I catch moonshine?
I have asked the moon
to not go away so soon,
even it departs before long.

There are no problems
Everything is fine
but they will say, 'Yes'
when you will be mine.
So, will you think of me?

i’m typing this
as i’m waiting for you to get back
from the bathroom.
in the starbucks
cozy acoustic music is playing
and your mocha frappucino
half empty
is on the table in front of me.
your lips have touched the lid
and i don’t want to be
that person
but i wonder.
i wonder how it feels
does it know that it’s lucky.
can it tell me its secrets
how does it do that?
get you to open up
and let inside the warmth?
i’m not jealous.
just curious.

you should be back any second now.
you might walk out
back to our cliche little table
and ask me
what i’m doing
what i’m typing so furiously
what i’m so passionate about.
i will want to say you.
i love you
right here right now right time right place
i won’t though

maybe i’ll say
“i forgot to finish this paper
that’s due at 11:59 tonight”
or maybe i’ll say
“i just got an urgent email
about my political science class tomorrow”
or maybe i’ll say
“an old elementary school friend
just sent me a Facebook message
and i need to reply”

or.
or maybe i’ll say
“nothing.
nothing more important than our coffee.”
maybe i’ll just close my laptop
mid-sentence
because it’s true.

nothing is more importa

And i see you
as you walk
with your head held high
amongst them
shining of a light
that's all yours.
And i fall
even more
in love
cause you smile at me
as if you were a child
and i was made
of cotton candy.
You taste
and destroy me
with your endless sweetness
and intergalactic mouth
that makes us shine.
As you give up
the light
that was once yours
but that it's now
all ours.

You are my friend
You are my teacher
You are my trend
You are my editor

You're my supervisor
You're my inspiration
You're my favorite author
You're my satisfaction

You are my morning
You are my new day
You are my lighting
You are my right way

Your heart is my heart
Your mind is my mind
Your lovely art is my art
Your kind is my kind

You are in my mind
You are my shine
You are so kind
But you are not mine
Please, don't mind…..

Maybe I cannot say
Some words to you
Oh, I'm missing them
    My sweet, lovely
    great, happy smiley
    cute, amazing friend.
Truly, here type is bind
I am so sorry
don't worry
don't mind

But I must say
I respect you
I owe you
I like you, my friend.

Call me crazy
I refuse to talk in a room full of my peers,
Because I am afraid for
How those will react to the
“Shy” “Quiet” “Odd”
Girl to speak.

Call me crazy
I would rather be home writing
Enjoying a hot cup of hot cocoa rather than
Be out late at a party
With a random stranger
Who likes me for when I turn around

Call me crazy
I do not reach societies standards
For a barbie body,
Straight A’s,
Or owning the hottest pair of jeans on town.

Call me crazy
But I am not like the rest
And I refuse to become somebody
Who I do not want to be.