I'm gonna give up this fight
you never once laid your hands on.

— I'll surrender the hopes I fight with

we all know it's a lie
deny me when I say
'I want to let you go'
see through my eyes
heal the tears inside
kiss my lips that lie

gently pull me back
to the currents
of your waves
I've grown to know

why must be apart?
to truly know that our hearts
chose to draw each other closer

— fate leads us to each other

If I were to be honest,
I'll be called "mad".

— 'it is you that I love'

a thought of you
can move me to tears,
the exquisite joy
of seeing your smile
with your figure
a bit taller than mine
right up close to me

next to the sadness
that we might never be
like parallel lines,
asymptotes—
oh how lucky are we
if we were just like that

at least you're within my reach
not like this
where you're galaxies away,
apart with these oceans
flooding us away
like the skies pouring hard rain,
these eyes blur my vision up to you
A star that's out of my league

stuck in the same place
over and over
I'm growing tired
faded, to look at the other end
A non-existent thread,
to yours— bled red
something I put up tying to mine
to yours— an invisible line

For once I am lost for words,
hollow, empty of a shell with no home
as we are living in different worlds
I will never see you by the doorstep

We're like two matchsticks
you used to burn up my flames
my eyes lit up looking at you—
burning with passion
wasting no gasoline,
my heart you filled up the brim
— now it's a heart burnout

I used to hold on
and vision it clearly up ahead
with you holding my tired hand
with me looking up to smile
my heart used to race a thousand mile
how is it now this came too soon?
now it's just faded
a scene that's white noise filled
you're fading to black quickly

For once I don't see you
standing on the other side
I've held loose of the rope

I'm no longer scared
or anxious
of what we will come about
A future without you
with these feelings wavering—
How come I vision this clearly?

A story with no ‘we’—
An ending page
and from the beginning
that's where
we're supposed to stand in line

isn’t it sad
when you can visibly see
the embers of a star
slowly dying?
up in the night sky
from a galaxy far away from me
don’t you ever look up
looking for the signs of me?

my dear, I plead
for an apology
nowhere within your reach
I am sorry
for this light to be fading
for letting it cease from existing

my love, I have always been praying
for our dream
that’s never meant to be
to our stars that never will align
not for once, nor till I ever die

my darling, please I beg
for this light to lose its glimmer
‘it’s already dim though’
is there anything I could do?

my dearest, can you not hear me?
at least hear me out on my pleas
in my last twinkle,
please be reminded
that it’s only the light of my remains
this dream has been dead long ago
‘a dream of the impossible’
my light has been long gone,
before then it can reach you

You were never mine,
but you made me feel as if I were
in your arms,
my hands fit so right with yours

You were never mine,
but your songs seems like we once were
By the melody, we are deep in love
With your words of parting
of a meeting that never once occurred

You were never mine
But sometimes I wish you were
Always but I keep myself hidden
I knew—
from the risk of falling
It just cannot be—
So I fall back
Even if I knew it was a moment too soon

You were never mine,
I knew from the start.

You were never mine.
My love, you were never mine to keep

But you made me feel
like I was yours
And you were mine

— la douleur exquise

Is it right or is it wrong
to not ask anything in return
yet wanting to ask for more?
I can be a walking irony
as I make my way closer to you
How can it be
I know that we cannot be
yet risking to cross the seas
to close the gap for a kiss?
Why is it that
the distance between us
cannot drown me
on how far my dream can be—
you're impossible; unattainable
yet why can't I put an end
into these feelings I question
if it's bad or good
to pour on efforts
to soar these emotions still?

“Why is it you always write about the night?”/ he asks as he sees her scribbling down her thoughts again late at one in the morning.

She turns to him, unfazed and gives him a smile meant for the sun to shine down on.

“Because I feel there’s more sense into them. The night and us have something in common— something only the two us get.”

He lets her words sink into him, now looking over her shoulder with wonder in his eyes. He touches her ink stained fingers, pulling it close to his chaste lips.

“I do feel it.” He nods wholeheartedly, letting his eyes flutter with the beating of his heart echo in each other’s mind. She do hope he feels hers, too.

This is what she meant. It’s the silence and wishes that surrounds them. It’s the serene feeling, the stillness between them, that’s meant to be under the stars and the moonlight casting over their skins.

She finds comfort in the stars as it reminds her of his bright lit eyes. As he feels safe under the moonlight every night; it’s her softness that draws him the same with the moon in the sky.

The moon and the stars will not bat an eye as they just continue to look after you.

It is the night that hears the most silent and powerful prayers from the heart.

And I do hope at some nights, no matter how far we are, he would be awake as I am not visited by sleep— he would think how somewhere out there, there’s someone wishing to be a moon to another like him. There’s also someone wishing to be closer with the stars.

— ironically, I wrote this at dawn.