Please take a breath and hear my words
For they were meant for you,
On the cold and bitter days
That you don't think you can get through.
I want to remind you that this life
May be hard but you are strong,
And anyone who says otherwise
Is straight up wrong.
I want to remind you of the sun,
Its light will come again,
And no matter how dark it seems to get
The darkness always ends.
And I know it may seem impossible
Like it will forever go on
But I'm telling you the darkest hour
Is just before the dawn.
Sometimes we fall and need help up
Because we can't do it alone
And if this happens please ask for help
Because I promise you're not on your own.
You've still got mountains to climb
So many things to do and see,
And I promise you it's worth it in the end
I promise you you'll be happy.

Here lies the memory of a girl
Who used to have a heart of gold
Who was filled with warmth and happiness
Until the world went and made her cold.
Here lies the memory of a girl
Who heard music and sang along
But now she lays vacant with tears in her eyes
When she hears that exact same song.
Here lies the memory of a girl
Who wished upon the stars
But instead of counting wishes
She now spends her nights counting her scars.
Here lies the memory of a girl
Who would play in the rain,
And now she spends that time using it
To wash away the pain.
Here lies the memory of a girl  
Who didn't guard her heart
But who now has 6 inch steel walls
To keep it from falling apart.
Here lies the memory of a girl  
Who believed in happy endings
Who's heart is now broken
One she's constantly mending.
Here lies the memory of a girl  
Who is now dead,
Who paints art on her skin with needles
Replaced by the demons in her head.

Dear Mr. Someday,
I am looking for something that cannot be found.
A picturesque alternate reality
where my heart isn't a punching bag for every boy who's ever
"just wanted to see me be happy".
On days where the sun is the second to last thing I have left to believe in, I realize.
There's still you.

I'd like to know how you are.
Are you happy?
Are you seeing somebody?
Oh.
I understand.
I realized that my hands weren't the best at holding onto things that inevitably leave. Everyone always just
leaves.
Maybe in another lifetime.

Dear Mr. Someday,
I will not wait for you.
I will not stare until the grains of sand forget how to fall
waiting for you to come find me.
I refuse to dedicate my life in finding a man that
cannot love me more than I can love myself.
Your hands did not pick me up from the bathroom floor at 3am,
your arms did not hold onto me as the earthquake inside me
shook me until I could no longer stand,
your words did not take the sting out of my insecurity,
after every heartbreak,
after every night spent in the corridors of my mind
wondering what the **** is wrong with me,
it was not you.
It was me.
And it will always be
me.

Dear Mr. Someday,
I'd like to meet you.
I hope the feeling is mutual.
Hopefully, we can catch up on everything we missed.

I don't know the touch of your hands on mine,
I don't know how you look at 7 in the morning.
I don't know your favourite nursery rhyme,
I don't know the weight of your arm on my neck.
I don't know how you look when you are in love,
or how you manage to laugh on days where smiling is impossible.
I don't know what you're most scared to lose,
or how many times you have.
I don't know the feeling of your lips on mine,
or why God modeled the oceans after your eyes.
I don't know why I can listen to you speak for hours on end
and never get bored,
or how my definition of 'home' is so encapsulated by one person.
I don't know, and that's okay.
You can teach me.

Growing up too fast wasnt something i chose, but it marked a defining point of my childhood despite not being 18. I lost my innocence the day i realized that the pretty words a boy will tell you are a dagger in disguise. I lost my innocence the day i let my reputation define me, but adults will still say "You dont even know how bad life can get yet, all you have to do is go to school." What they dont know is that in school, they may teach you how to read and write. In school they taught me how to recite plays and taught me how to multiply 10 times 8, but they didnt teach me how to stop loving someone who doesnt love you anymore. They dont teach you how to deal with a goodbye you never received. In school they dont teach you that your friends will turn their back on you if its the cool thing to do, they dont teach you about how a boys kiss can taste better than Prozac. In school they dont teach you that alcohol makes as many problems as it solves but man does it feel good to let your throat burn for a split second rather than deal with the aching pain in your heart and the problems in your head that you couldnt solve. they teach that arithmetic and english are the main things to learn in life but life isnt 10 times 8 and life isnt this beautiful picture that artists paint. Life is the nights you lie awake at 16 missing a boy who you gave everything to. Life is the pain in your eyes that says Im fine when you know that isnt true. So maybe you are right, maybe i dont have to pay bills or deal with the "adult" world, but ive learned more about life in my 16 years of ages than some adults ever will.

They say I've always wanted to be a poet.
That's true,
at least in part.
I love writing beautiful words,
expressing mixtures of emotions,
turing words into extravagant art,
confessing my love,
but never actually expressing my love.
I love the safe excape that it gives.
The excape from abuse,
self-harm,
shame,
disappointment,
and fear.
But if I'm being honest,
the thing I want more than to be a poet...

          Is to be someone else's poem.

Dear future lover,
Please be kind.
Touch with only the softest hands
For I've felt the worst.
Please don't be impatient
I may be difficult at times.
I will feel lost without you
For I loathe being lonesome.
Please be gentle with me
Don't pull on my petals.
A smile in its rarest form
Belongs to you and only you.
Please, future lover,
Be faithful to me alone.
I've felt the sting of betrayal once
And I am afraid.
Please never doubt my love
For you're always on my mind.
Never doubt that I dream of you
Each and every night.
Please, future lover,
Give and you shall receive.
I would wake at any hour
To soothe any agony.
Never fear my help, dear
We all have our nights.
Never doubt that I understand
And I won't doubt your frights.
And please, don't ignore me
Just tell me when you're hurting.
I would help in every way
I'd never be a burden.
Finally, future lover,
Know your arms are my home.
And though you may be far
Never let me sleep alone.