for you are too encompassing to ignore,
too statuesque to mute with the strings of my guitar,
& so i find the only way to repel you,
is to write of you.
is to sit in the eye of your storm
and allow the thick blanket of your skin
to unfold into me,
as i attempt to describe this experience to a t,
so that your uninvited presence becomes familiar.

and
you
        --  treacherous muse --
can become
my ally,  

so that when you eventually roll around again,
which you normally tend to do at the
crisp start of a burgeoning evening,
i can welcome you
with my open arms
and an empty chair,
and we can
use our sharpened vocabulary
to battle
over the
meaning
of stillness.

Person for sale

Able to:

Breathe quietly
Talk when needed
Wear acceptable clothes on work days
Use transport facilities in a timely fashion

Willing to:

Spend time with people
They don’t like
Set aside any feelings of
Boredom
Restlessness
Apathy
Disinterest
Disillusionment
Malais­e
Fatigue
Stress

And feign:

Interest
Enthusiasm
Concern
Delight
Contentment
Joie de vivre
Passion
Commitment

Willing to:

Sit stoically
In front of a square screen
Sending typed messages back and forth
Quietly count the days, months and years
As they tick by
Cover unsightly grey hairs
With unnatural dyes (at personal expense)
Spend hours in the same rooms with the same people
Use communal toilet facilities
Sit on trains
Day after day
Use caffeine and sugar
As the acceptable drug of choice

Prepared to scream out in silence
When it all gets too much

Person
For
Sale

I was a shape in my cosy little shell,
I stayed...
I nestled.
My cookie-cutter thoughts would
occasionally rebel...
And stray to the windows.
But still they were imprisoned by the
walls that surrounded.

I would steal bashful peeks
out a window.
I'd let my senses take unrestricted flights,
as I stared into the grandeur of the carnival
that seemed to have sprouted overnight...

Just beyond the confines of my home.

"What a marvellous circus!" I'd think...
I'd gawk with child-like adoration
and never blink.

The universe lay sprawled
in a celebration of systematic chaos.
It stretched far into the horizon...
A delight to the senses,
perceived through such young eyes.
The world had told me stories.
They were like fireworks
that speared up to the sky.

I wanted to be a part of the jubilee...
I longed for the validation of my existence.
I wished to claim the gift of life bestowed upon me.
I'd resent being held hostage by my indoctrinated ignorance.

I was a shape.
I knew I was a square.
I knew I had a home...
But not within those four walls.
Simply because...
My heart wasn't there.

When I was still young and fresh
A million years ago
I walked on edges
Always on the edge of something
Something wild

Bright lights and long nights
Lots of laughter and music
Always music
Singing with the band
Dodging the flying glass
When fights broke out
Howling to the moon
Oh, wild indeed were we

All shadows now, alas
Visions from an addled brain
Pubs, clubs and smoky dumps
Leave no turn unstoned was the cry
More fun than fundamental
And fundamentally flawed, it was
A couple of hours sleep 'fore the day job
With eye-lids stuck together
And walking into walls
But still I wouldn't have swapped it
For all the strait laced straight faced
Wealth in the world

                                 By Phil Roberts

We rise
only to fall
angels
gone to ground
in the sweet loam

honor the bones
let silt become
the raw clay
to re-form
our souls

we take long drags
of each others skin,
the addiction comes
in phases.
day 1: my lungs sigh, weary,
air does not satisfy,
day 2: we're chasing
lifelines, that are rusted
and in vain
day 5: bad habits are
hard to break, beg, at the
holy altar of our mistakes
day 8: hands desperate,
clammy, unfurl
like belladonna palms.
day 9: i hope your
vocal cords strain, that
the only word you can
bear to say is 'stay'.
day 11: last breaths
muffled in the
graveyard of a kiss.
day 17: darling, i'm
losing track of time
day 28: i'm finding it
a little bit hard to quit.

Help me stabilize
Intoxicated roads
Slurred sentences
Sipping away drifting apart

We exist in rain coated streets
Red and blue blaring
The sirens that simply take
There's no comfort in these sheets

A drink to think
A smoke to cope
A lie to hide
A note and rope

A lukewarm December
But my soul grows colder
Scraping my skin, ice, dirt off my shoulder
Chilling my spine
You body bleeds cherry wine

Dreams of a white haired horse
Summer night, quiet
Swinging chairs on the wooden porch

Is it better to be left alone
Time for your mind to freely roam
Or feel like no one is listening
You drown in explanations
You sink under

Staying awake is as hard as falling asleep
Followed by demons
Followed by voices
The sounds they creep into my skull
My thought out thoughts are boring and dull

I fade out in my words
Clinging to each word you haven't heard

....

*This poem will fade out as well
I realized I'm a sad contradiction
If you read this far.... I'm sorry

I've spent centuries
in this agony
My body changes
but time stays still

All this time I've passed
waiting to be found
like a bird inside a cage,
my feet chained to this ground

I can't keep my monsters at bay
but I can't run away

In the eye of each soul
all I see is fear
and my own still whispers
"I'm not from here"

By now I thought
I'd have more power
But at the end of each day
"it" still devours

Even though there's love in my heart
I still feel like falling apart

Each fight feels like
dark mirrors inside a maze
and all I see in this reflection
is my own empty gaze

My mind is light years
away from this place
Still the only thing that saves me
is your warm embrace

And when it feels like I have no choice
I recognize your voice

I'm so tired of this fight
But your love still keeps me warm
Together, we'll win this battle
Together, we'll breathe through the storm.

You are
The whisper of wind
That tickles my neck.
The music
That makes me dance.
The bird
That lands so close.
The rain
That soaks me to the bone.
The perfume
That brings me to tears.
The threadbare blanket
That keeps me warm.
The voice
That speaks through photos.
The song
That sings in my heart.
The memories
That are never far.
You are.