i hate the way i tremble
even as your knee brushes against my toe,
as if a simple gesture was enough to make me fall again.

i hate the way your eyes crinkle at the corners when you laugh,
the way you talk so easily,
words gliding from your mouth
so distinguishable i can almost feel them land on my skin,
like water droplets when it is drizzling.

you are dangerous,
you with your delicate beauty
like a wash of gold upon my eyes,
like the lifting of a curtain in a dark, dusty room.

i am blinded by you.
and i hate being blind.

i hate the way i love you.

i hate the way you smile,
i hate the way you laugh.

i hate how i know you have a dimple,
there, right there, on the side of your cheek.

i hate how you are like sunlight hitting a shimmering puddle,
as if you had the power to lift clouds and calm storms.

you don't have that power.