self pity
should I let you in
self pity
perhaps today I deserve you
wasn't today hard enough?
can't I wallow in sadness
and beg my friends for attention?

self pity
for now I'll keep you on arm-lenght
because I want you
but I like you
a little too much

I get weak
Thinking
About weeks.
For example:
1300 weeks = 1 generation;
2080 weeks = a work life;
4420 weeks = a lifetime.
Don't squander 1 week
Worrying about
Next week,
It makes one weak.

It eats me alive
Ripping through like a twister
Unpredictable
I never know when it will hit and when it will die

I think it's a lie
I'd rather feel numb than pain
The coward's honor may not be to desire
Then again the grass is always greener

The source seems unreachable
The hypersensitivity gets so unbearable
Breathing alone is a chore
I am no longer human

Then the sun comes back out
Suddenly I can see
It feels so great until I wonder
How long do I get to be me?

Do you know that feeling...when you fall in love?
When you start falling and you know you'll never get up.
When you give your happiness to someone,because you care for him more than you care for yourself.
Because you love him,more than you love yourself.
Do you know that feeling...when you fall in love?
When the touch of someones hands takes you to another dimension.
When you see another world in someones eyes,a world you always dreamed of.
Do you know that person...that makes you fall in love?
The same person who erases all your fears,making you feel safer than ever.
The same person who is the reason you cope with everything.
The reason to get up,live,and fight.
Do you know that feeling...when your heart breaks?
When that same person becomes stranger.
When the love dissapears like it never excisted.
When you become one big nothing to him.
But he is one everything to you.
He is and he will always be.

I let the people push me
to where I want to go,
to where I want to be.

They have their words that
punch and their legs that kick.

To the point where
I,
**** the bluebird
with my eyes.

What if you think life isn't worth it?
You're just standing there.
Nailed to the ground.
Looking at your past, with your back to the future.
Trying to find a purpose in life.

Is life actually worth it?
Walking around with a smile on your face.
Trying to hide your pain.
People who think you're fine, that you're happy.
Till you collapse.

Life isn't worth it.
You just wait for the moment where you snap.
Where you get pushed over the edge.
One more step, one more thought and one more breath.
And then you're death.

So much emphasis is placed
On finding the face in the crowd
That makes a permanent home in your brain
On the way a small forest fire can sprout from the fingertip touch
Of the one
Who may or may not stay
Just like the feelings that seem too good to be true.
But what about waking up early just to be filled with the solace of a gentle sunrise
Or dancing to the radio while cooking tomato soup in your sunlit kitchen
Or rolling down your car windows despite the falling rain
Or pulling on your favorite socks after eating peanut butter toast
I want you to wake up in the morning and smile because you have a whole life to live          
I want you to learn to appreciate the way the light streams over the moutains at 7:36 in the morning
through the air laying heavy with people's thoughts        
and through your window screen
Where the light lands in speckles on your bed and seeps into your heart.
I want you to cook your favorite breakfast and ride your bike the long way to work.
The beautiful things in life
Are the ones that are rarely noticed by others.
Love seeps from the earth and from your skin. Don't wait for someone to hand it to you.
Feed it to yourself.