English is not the language of love
the reason my boyfriend left me
is still trying to win my heart
'can love if i'm' are his broken words

life forced him to learn too many languages
when he was fleeing from country to country
from the people who murdered his family

I wish I could let him flee into my heart
but it's not a safe place
I am warground
grenades of trauma's and lost love still wound me
Don't try to come inside my heart
I closed my borders
don't give asylum

I'm not safe
It wouldn't be fair to you
to let you in
for I would wound you
like 'he' wounded me
while you saw us
breaking up

If it has ended now
And we stop being friends,
Just tell me clearly please;
For love has blinded me,
I will not plainly see
That it has ended here.
I'm such a hopeful man
And will keep dreaming on,
So, say for certain please-
That this sweet friendship died;
There is no going back.
Too late to admit wrong,
(I am the guilty one
The fault was always mine).
Tell me to forget hope-
That the walls between us
Are stone hard, fiery hot,
And they will never fall.
Tell me to reject you,
And to not trouble you
That I should ramble off
And just go away far.
So, say it bluntly please,
If it has happened that
We are no longer friends.

The deeper I bleed
The more at home I am

The more I feel
The less I become

Numbness

Simply feeling for the sake of existing
Is all I could ever know

Why do I even live?

I don't deserve my life,
Yet it's never been taken.

Perhaps it would be better if I said goodbye and bled myself dry

I will write till my pen bleeds....till my heart beats.
I will write till my words are death kissed.....till their death like...you died!!!

When i fell that i'm all alone
Noone came...
But  you came...
My  ever  lovely loneliness

When did I get so good at hiding the truth?
Has my mask finally done all that it should?
How did I get so good at lying?
And why does it hurt so much more than I thought it would?