capable but unmotivated,
love being different, hate being misunderstood,
impulsive long term planner.
strange mix of super private and open book.
rational yet unrealistic.
great at giving advice, bad at following it.
arrogant, but painfully aware of my flaws
sure of myself, yet unassuming
introverted extrovert,
rigorous yet care-free,
perpetual loner with tons of friends.
energetic but lazy,
sensitive, yet cold hearted
gregarious yet studious,
intelligent but spacey,
personal, yet detached.
unhealthy, yet understanding therapist,
competitive mediator.
The optimist who just wants to see the world burn.
Where do I fit in?

Your shadow runs in the sunset,
Leaping over buildings in its stride,
The waning day fills me with regret,
Of lost chances I can't provide.

The lonely road stretches ahead,
Bereft bridge I cross everyday.
Starlight upon a tousled head,
The moon that lights the way.

I want to let the fire have you,
You're mine to hold when you weep,
Brave heart that needs a rescue.
Your deepest desires I keep.

At dusk our shadows blend together,
Flying high we seek the same things,
You're my compass and my cover,
And tonight you become my wings.

I consume time, as I march at a steady beat.
I may seem fearsome, but you I will not eat.
I once was a multitude, in times long past,
But now I am encased in gold and glass.

Panic crept up to me,
Filling my mind with images of them pulling out my body,
Festered  and decaying.
Images of slow starvation. Of disease and disintegrated skin.
My breath faltered,
I gasped for air but it got caught in my throat,
Hot and humid,
The cloying stench of mold.

I could feel my heart in my head,
Rushing through my ears,
Every beat ripping my chest open,
Like the pressure would burst my veins.
Reason fled.
Rationality ran.

The walls closed in on my mind,
The water rushed up and choked my hope,
Impenetrable dark, weighing on my shoulders,
Pulling me down. Suffocating me.
Filling my mouth,
My nose,
My mind.

The moss beneath my hands crawled up my skin,
Images of drowning in insects flew through my brain.
Crawling in to my mouth,
The sockets of my eyes.
I screamed.

I screamed and I screamed,
My voice broke and still I screamed,
Silent peals of anguish,
The sound rough and course, grating against my throat.
Ripping apart the silence.

Frantically I tried to scramble up the rough stones.
Shredding my fingers,
My hands were covered in blood and grime.
Panic faded into Pain.
Pain to numbness.
I retreated into my mind.

Their is no need to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Do it to do it. Not to have done it.
"Why me?" "Why not you."