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Nov 2018 · 446
Lone Leaf
Chloe Chapman Nov 2018
Lone leaf in the wind
Gentle spiral come to rest
Worn down underfoot
Nov 2018 · 422
Chloe Chapman Nov 2018
Listen to the rain
Indifferent to the pleas of man
Cleansing all in time
Haiku 5/7/5
Jul 2017 · 331
Education Factories
Chloe Chapman Jul 2017
Children in,
Adults out.
Mar 2017 · 559
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
I forgot who I was pretending to be today..
Mar 2017 · 2.3k
The Loneliness Connundrum
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
people bore me                               loneliness bores me
people drain me                             loneliness drains me
people tire me                                 loneliness tires me
people misunderstand me            loneliness means I misunderstand myself
people ignore me                           loneliness is the epitome of being ignored
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
How can I understand others so easily, yet form no connection to them?
There are parts of me which are so foreign to others that they cannot comprehend me.
There are parts of me that are so similar to others that they form a connection with me.
I cannot [will not] reciprocate this.
I am entirely wrapped up in my own self, yet still I am Lost in the sea of everyone else.
APATHY: no connection to others
NARCISSISM: self obliterates others
CO-DEPENDENCE: others obliterate self
EMPATHY: connection and understanding
Mar 2017 · 1.1k
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
Just a few of my fears.. Spot the theme..
Mar 2017 · 1.2k
How Can You Know Me?
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
How can you know me,
    When you've only seen my skin
There is not way
    I could possibly portray
    More than a distorted fragment
        Of the twisted universe
            That resides inside my head.

I try  my dear,
    Oh how hard I try!
But it is futile you see,
    For how can I form words
        To convey who I am
When I myself
Do not even understand
Who I Have Become.
Mar 2017 · 1.6k
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
I am both the wound,
And the blade. The torturer,
And he who is flayed.
blade wound torture flayed torturer he both and I am
Mar 2017 · 1.3k
I Like The Colour Purple
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
I like the colour purple,
     as it blooms across my skin,
The delicate spread of lavender,
     dappled with yellow and green.

I like the smell of iron,
     of copper pennies and blood
As it oozes form a scab
     or drips from a fresh cut.

I like the feel of my ribs,
     the bones beneath my skin,
The curve of my skull under my cheek,
     Or the joints of every knuckle.
Wrote this on a whim..
(and yes Colour is spelt right, that's how we spell it in England.)
Mar 2017 · 579
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
I feel homesick for a place that doesn't exist.
I am homesick but I am at home.
Why am I homesick in my own home?
Where will I stop feeling homesick?
Everyone else feels safe at home.
When will I stop feeling homesick?
Do I even need a home?
Mar 2017 · 560
Blood Drips
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
Blood drips,
                      In lurid globes
Down the shadowed folds of heavy velvet.
            cloying stench,
                      shattered china.

Your spine is twisted under stretched yellow skin,
Disjointed vertebrae break through, glinting white.
Your lost words heavy on your tongue,
Ringing in my ears.
Every villain believes
   they are a hero dear.
         even me.
Not a huge fan of this one if I'm honest. Thought I would post it anyway.
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
The sharp jagged edge,
An exhausted little beak
Bedraggled feathers.
The Pain of New Life - Part 3
Haiku series
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
Torn from mother's womb.
Lungs strain with gasps of cold air,
Unforgiving world.
The Pain of New Life - Part 2
Haiku series
Chloe Chapman Mar 2017
Do you think it hurts,
When fresh buds burst from dark earth?
What beautiful pain.
The Pain of New Life - part one
Haiku series
Feb 2017 · 675
Chloe Chapman Feb 2017
Our existence consists of a resistance to the persistent indifference,
The instinct without substance, consistent yet distant,
That will influence our adolescence, make us insistent and violent,
Until in an instant we will all become silent.
Jan 2017 · 586
My Own Words
Chloe Chapman Jan 2017
abyss tried left pulling untitled beauty scales heavy chase lies shoulders flew starvation body rough broke veins water crawling beat angel sun slow fly looked morning hear walls wake live touch need blame wasn't looking gave stand whirled planet want way know pair inside hold thousands going gravity friends different universe sparks end help trance million lungs pumped oh hand struggle spine mirror bleeding surely crave suddenly draw rasp clouds face smile rushes pooling feet calls shatter glance circuited risk catch danced seeing eye pieces jumps irresistible false barefoot blow stretching helium hair-trigger deserve near wall trail wish told tip razor requiring staining pure holding un-calculated precarious short health think scare drowned tight light proportioning maybe arm filled hair fight spins centre loose vulnerable lightest balanced noticed step rope stains rot wanting deserved realized bitter connection set instead selfish cast shame blamed aside shut overwhelmed factories ***** stretch roads lattice toxic nations sores polluting cities smog mechanical landscape great guilt affection mistakes forgive ate actions intimacy tsunami given fine tired self-pity free decay came lied signs smiling doubt small fault passion words fell admit default finally true matter wounded cope pride strength burning submit okay best paint hate reading realize listening music eating lonely walking child dreamt heat bystanders wound deaf glassy sunken opened sat hidden knew sneers smoke reflection arched web lovers mother drinking beasts ***** lines rivers blameless spewing sectioning leaving asphalt blistered whilst scattered plagued villages birds peace tea countryside scars machines torn 'civilization' tarmac land etched earth towns war sprawling rip snowed forced symmetry choose changed big flakes flurrie touched shall soul follow hunt new yesterday lasted brothers seconds adapt fluid hard wet state whirling fluffy liquid ground jewles crown adorn suffocating stones ran cloying caught burst silent beneath crept shredding numbness crawled got moss moon wear does soars wingless anguish dark course retreated rushed covered festered decaying princesses lie faeries dance hide mountains 1157 feelings sameness year change forward quite happy roar everyone's lives tall wide river dreams swim cries spirits phoenixes dragons soar conversations minuets savor overwhelming single remember unable devastating mermaids beings humans weak force unmeasurable bold consume makes afar repeating shining existence space comprehend the entities human humanity vivid insignificance infinitesimal embodied edges pressure grow thought jealous inner size weight felt voice downfall thing vast seduced strong galaxy whispered plot artistry belong struggled visible prison make systematic shrunk suns carry captivity constellations lazy rigorous impulsive tons understanding term wants loner unrealistic introverted perpetual personal care-free contradiction long extrovert unhealthy rational bullshitter therapist competitive energetic detached planner burn honest optimist mediator fit hot grating mold grime weighing fingers humid disintegrated rushing faltered sockets scramble chest frantically impenetrable reason disease silence sound gasped closed fled drowning nose faded choked insects stench rationality peals drown couldn't wondrous inspired unsaid settled smaller held expanse hostage began bars lucid sleep open mess sea rest consumes not to afloat darkness little elusive try movements attracted like mind heart stars life eyes world broken just feel time blood screamed pain bring throat nature wrong breath images thoughts apart wanted glass filling anymore hope humanity skin ripping look mouth head fantasy panic hands away human brain ears air saw balance kept pass cold white fall delicate structure
words of significance used in my poetry. Can you see a theme?
Chloe Chapman Jan 2017
Who made you the centre of my universe?
Because it sure wasn't me.
Do you think that I want my life to revolve around you?
like i'm just a planet orbiting the sun,
A pair of jeans in the washing machine
Or flotsam in a whirlpool.
I don't suppose you'd understand,
How dizzy I get,
after a day around you
Or even a few moments.
How I can't keep my balance
And the world sort of tips
till' everything is inside out
backwards and all mixed up.
Except you.
because for some reason
the only stable thing
in this topsy-turvy world
is you.
not really sure how this came out.. critique welcome
Nov 2016 · 485
Fragments of You
Chloe Chapman Nov 2016
I never expected to capture anything more
than a fragment of you
A phrase you might once have spoke in your sleep,
A twitch of your lips,
Or the curve of your spine when you stretched.

I soon realized that snippets of you were all about the place,
caught in the hedge by the back gate or reflected in the kettle.
The rings of coffee mugs on my old desk,
and loose change down the back of the sofa.
Even when I was away I still found you,
Sand in my shoes, folded corners in my books,

Even though you are gone,
I can see you in myself.
I speak with your words,  
I still see the world as you described it,
Full of wonder and curiosity,
But now tinged with bitterness.
Lyrics from your songs lurk in my mind,
And an aching emptiness where my heart once was.

I cannot forget you,
For I cannot escape you.
Nov 2016 · 1.1k
The Mistakes I Made
Chloe Chapman Nov 2016
Looking back I can see, how it all must have looked from your eyes.
The true nature of my actions, my words and my lies.
I admit there was something wrong in my mind
And it's only now I can see all the signs.
I broke myself for you, I made myself small,
I tried to be what you wanted, I gave you my all.

But it didn't matter what I did, what you wanted wasn't me,
I should have given up, and set myself free
But instead I kept smiling, "I'm fine" I lied.
I don't hold it against you, how you cast me aside,
But you see, when I finally gave up hope,
Life overwhelmed me and I could not cope.

I shut myself in, and everything out,
left alone with my mind, self-pity and doubt.
Like rot in my brain and decay in my heart,
It ate away at my passion, and my strength fell apart.
Forgive me if I blamed you, it wasn't your fault,
But I was bitter and tired, and blame is my default.

Then came guilt, a tsunami of shame,
When I realized that I was the one to blame.
In my selfish need I had broken our connection,
Wanting more than I deserved of intimacy and affection.
And here I stand, without you by my side,
With a broken heart and wounded pride.
Nov 2016 · 489
Chloe Chapman Nov 2016
I wish we would write more.
Physical letters, I mean,
To show who we care for,
Instead of expressing ourselves by machine.
Because there's something about
Ink on a page,
And painstakingly writing it out
But... that's so rare in this age.

Are we truly connected
If you only ever tell me through text?
I suppose it's expected
but it leaves me perplexed
How can it be true?
If it's just pixels on a screen
Words with no value,
On the face of a machine.

Don't you detest
Our online obsession,
Conversations compressed
And a loss of connection
Written for a competition entitled 'messages'
Oct 2016 · 868
Chloe Chapman Oct 2016
I like reading alone,
I like drinking tea by myself,
and eating without anyone else.
I like listening to music alone,
I like painting by myself,
and walking without anyone else.

But when I see
A mother and her child,
Two best friends
Or a pair of lovers

I realize that
even though
I like being
I hate
Sep 2016 · 1.3k
Chloe Chapman Sep 2016
It's okay
If you don't
Have the time.
I would do anything for you.
Sep 2016 · 727
Chloe Chapman Sep 2016
I was stumbling through life when I met you.
Unbalanced on the uneven terrain
of God
and school,
and friendships,
and family.
But you caught hold of my flailing hands,
and wrapped your arms around my waist
to steady me, you said.
But now, I'm stumbling through the internet,
looking at pictures of you and them.
And I waver,
As I imagine you with her, and me here alone with my phone.
You said
You were busy,
Which is why there was no reply.
But why can't
You be busy
With me?
Sep 2016 · 495
Chloe Chapman Sep 2016
I was wrong before,
when I said  I was in love.
I had not fully understood,
I thought it was just a warm feeling,
and a smile when they walk into the room.
But now,
Now I know.
Love is a relentless tide,
A storm in my body,
A tornado in my heart.
It rips apart my reality,
And does not care for the wreckage it leaves in its wake.
My mind a war zone.

Love is not butterflies, it is bombs,
It is not fleeting, it is not kind.
It is not compassionate, it is a mighty force that takes control of me, and will not leave.
Sep 2016 · 871
For You
Chloe Chapman Sep 2016
You are more than I will ever deserve

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,
Or maybe it would scare you,
because every time I look at you,
No, every time I think of you,
My heart jumps, and my mind clouds,
Blood rushes to my face,
I can't breath and the world spins,
Like my brain has short circuited,
and I feel like my hair should stand on end,
and sparks should fly from my eyes.
Surely you have noticed the way I look at you,
How I can't draw my eyes away from you.
How suddenly the centre of my universe is you,
I am just a planet to your sun.

And when you look at me,
When you catch my eye, and smile,
I feel like I have been pumped full of helium,
I feel like I could blow away with the lightest breath of air,
Like I would shatter into a million pieces with just a touch.
Oh, and how I crave your touch!
Your hand on my arm, my head on your heart.
Your gravity is irresistible,
All I want is to be near you.

Is it wrong?
The way I feel?
What would you do if I told you?
I do not know, and I cannot take the risk,
For if I were to loose you,
I would become nothing.
Everything I am too afraid to tell you
Sep 2016 · 620
I Dreamt I Saw Myself
Chloe Chapman Sep 2016
I saw myself,
Balanced on a razor thin wall of glass,
barefoot and bleeding,
The white chasm stretching down either side of me,
And in my hands,
Were a pair of scales,
With my life in the balance.
One false step and I would fall into the abyss,
One un-calculated move and the balance would tip,
The precarious nature of my hair-trigger scales,
Holding My Mind, My Health, My Heart,
Requiring the most delicate of proportioning,
Only made it more vulnerable.
And in my wake,
A trail of my blood,
Staining the pure glass.
Aug 2016 · 546
Life As They Know It
Chloe Chapman Aug 2016
She sat among the broken glass,
Opened her mouth to hear the rasp,
of smoke filled lungs
and a broken heart.
Pain she knew would never pass.

The world flew by, without a glance.
And in the mirror her reflection danced,
a web of lies,
And sunken eyes,
Glassy in a trance.

He looked up at the broken light,
About his throat a rope wound tight,
Calls for help fall on deaf ears,
Bystanders pass with hidden sneers,
not seeing him struggle in a fight.

Her spine arched as water beat,
On broken skin with burning heat,
Her mind whirled down,
In thoughts she drowned,
Blood pooling at her feet.
wrote this agesssss ago, I don't know what to think of it,but found it in the back of a draw.Thanks for reading :)
Aug 2016 · 1.4k
The Stains of Humanity
Chloe Chapman Aug 2016
Roads stretch out, a lattice of scars etched into the land.
Asphalt and Tarmac rivers, crawling with lines of ***** machines.
Sectioning off nature.
I cannot hear the birds anymore.

A countryside blistered with towns, villages.
The sores of sprawling cities scattered across the earth,
Polluting the peace.
I cannot see the stars anymore.

Great factories spewing toxic smog,
Whilst mechanical beasts tear into the veins of the planet,
Ripping apart the landscape.
We are not blameless anymore.

We have ***** our world,
leaving in our wake:
War torn nations,
Plagued by starvation,
Human 'civilization'.
In progress. Any thoughts on improvement?
Jul 2016 · 2.4k
I am a Contradiction.
Chloe Chapman Jul 2016
capable but unmotivated,
love being different, hate being misunderstood,
impulsive long term planner.
strange mix of super private and open book.
rational yet unrealistic.
great at giving advice, bad at following it.
arrogant, but painfully aware of my flaws
sure of myself, yet unassuming
introverted extrovert,
rigorous yet care-free,
perpetual loner with tons of friends.
energetic but lazy,
sensitive, yet cold hearted
gregarious yet studious,
intelligent but spacey,
personal, yet detached.
unhealthy, yet understanding therapist,
competitive mediator.
The optimist who just wants to see the world burn.
Where do I fit in?
Curses of an ENTP
Jul 2016 · 702
Who are you?
Chloe Chapman Jul 2016
Your shadow runs in the sunset,
Leaping over buildings in its stride,
The waning day fills me with regret,
Of lost chances I can't provide.

The lonely road stretches ahead,
Bereft bridge I cross everyday.
Starlight upon a tousled head,
The moon that lights the way.

I want to let the fire have you,
You're mine to hold when you weep,
Brave heart that needs a rescue.
Your deepest desires I keep.

At dusk our shadows blend together,
Flying high we seek the same things,
You're my compass and my cover,
And tonight you become my wings.
Who are you? Where are you?
Jul 2016 · 770
It's not morning yet
Chloe Chapman Jul 2016
It's not morning yet, I still have a little time:

For my body to rest.
My movements are lucid,
My mind is a mess.
Sleep is elusive.

I begin to breakdown,
I am afloat on the sea.
I try not  to drown.
The darkness consumes me.
Jul 2016 · 731
Chloe Chapman Jul 2016
I consume time, as I march at a steady beat.
I may seem fearsome, but you I will not eat.
I once was a multitude, in times long past,
But now I am encased in gold and glass.
Inspired by the Corpus Christi clock, Cambridge, also known as the time eater, and the locust clock.
Feb 2016 · 601
Chloe Chapman Feb 2016
Panic crept up to me,
Filling my mind with images of them pulling out my body,
Festered  and decaying.
Images of slow starvation. Of disease and disintegrated skin.
My breath faltered,
I gasped for air but it got caught in my throat,
Hot and humid,
The cloying stench of mold.

I could feel my heart in my head,
Rushing through my ears,
Every beat ripping my chest open,
Like the pressure would burst my veins.
Reason fled.
Rationality ran.

The walls closed in on my mind,
The water rushed up and choked my hope,
Impenetrable dark, weighing on my shoulders,
Pulling me down. Suffocating me.
Filling my mouth,
My nose,
My mind.

The moss beneath my hands crawled up my skin,
Images of drowning in insects flew through my brain.
Crawling in to my mouth,
The sockets of my eyes.
I screamed.

I screamed and I screamed,
My voice broke and still I screamed,
Silent peals of anguish,
The sound rough and course, grating against my throat.
Ripping apart the silence.

Frantically I tried to scramble up the rough stones.
Shredding my fingers,
My hands were covered in blood and grime.
Panic faded into Pain.
Pain to numbness.
I retreated into my mind.
Once I got stuck in a well, about one meter across and five deep. thigh deep water and mold up the sides. I was sure I was going to die there. This is what I felt.
Feb 2016 · 251
Chloe Chapman Feb 2016
Their is no need to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Do it to do it. Not to have done it.
"Why me?" "Why not you."
Chloe Chapman Dec 2015
You need not worry, Pretty one,
For I am here, My dearest son.

I will protect you, at all cost,
For if you die then all is lost.

Do not be afraid, you must not fear
For I will always, hold you dear.

The world will wait,
And so will fate,
For though you're the heir,
Right now, you are in my care.
Dec 2015 · 294
Bring me the stars
Chloe Chapman Dec 2015
I would wait for the day that he would say to me:
"Bring me the stars.
Bring them to me so that I may wear them around my throat.
That I may adorn my crown with the Sun and Moon."

He will walk the universe with but a stride,
swathed in galaxies and Nebulae.
My Lord
My King
Jan 2015 · 800
Chloe Chapman Jan 2015
Yesterday it snowed.
Big fluffy flakes whirling down in a flurrie of white.
But they lasted only seconds, as they touched the wet ground their state changed, they left behind their cold, hard edges and symmetry and became fluid and liquid. there was no going back to its delicate structure, just like all its brothers it was something new and they didn't choose it. They were forced to adapt.
This is unedited, I just worte it how it came to me. Sorry
Jan 2015 · 4.3k
Chloe Chapman Jan 2015
Muscles are a network of steel cables.
Winding together forming the landscape of the body,
Coiled to spring, convolted and twisting.
Rigid and strained, beneath the skin.
Taut. Tense.
Been looking at muscle structure in art. Inspired me i guess.
Jan 2015 · 328
Absolutely Nothing
Jan 2015 · 510
Chloe Chapman Jan 2015
That's just it, I'm not.
I can't write today
Jan 2015 · 2.6k
Chloe Chapman Jan 2015
I will follow you
I will chase you
I will hunt you
Never shall I give up
All I am is a heavy heart and an empty soul
All I need is you
2 minuet poem
Jan 2015 · 1.6k
Chloe Chapman Jan 2015
He haunted her.
Phantom touches
Icy breath on the back of her neck
He tugged on her memory
Left scars on her skin
He was there in those moments between sleep and awake
He was there in the dark crevises of her mind
She could not let him go
He haunted her.
Jan 2015 · 15.5k
Chloe Chapman Jan 2015
A single Human, alone and weak,
is unable to comprehend  the insignificance of its life.
But as a whole, Humanity, we are unmeasurable, overwhelming
filling space and time with our vivid existance.
We consume all other entities with our devistating force.
Embodied in thousands upon thousands of infintesimal beings. Humans.
We must remember that it is the human that makes up humanity.
too tired to write
Dec 2014 · 591
Not Quite
Chloe Chapman Dec 2014
Its 11:57 and I can see the stars.
The stars are always there, shining down from afar.
and I'm always here, going about my life, repeating the same conversations and feelings and thoughts. what am i to do.
I want next year to be diffrent.
I hope it will be diffrent.
I will savor these last few minuets of sameness.
I am looking forward to change though.
Dec 2014 · 1.1k
The fishbowl
Chloe Chapman Dec 2014
Two goldfish in an endless game of tag.
They rely apon unknown entitys for food, life.
They do not try to escape.
Knowing no better, they continue their lives in a state of incomprehension.
Unaware of anything other than that which they know.
Their memory spans moments,
Washed away with the flick of a fin.
And yet, I am jealouse of them.
inspired by a friends goldfish, named Innocence and Ignorance
Dec 2014 · 276
Chloe Chapman Dec 2014
She is a wingless angel.
She does not fly, she soars.
Dec 2014 · 335
Chloe Chapman Dec 2014
Sometimes I dream. Sometimes I do not.
often i will not sleep until 2 am,
From time to time I go to sleep as soon as my head touches the pillow.
Once in a blue moon I will stay up all night.
My sleep does not follow a pattern, neither does my life.
It fluctuates from here to there, adrift in space and time.
I am infrequent. I am haphazard. I am erratic.
I do not mind, It makes me who I am.
Dec 2014 · 570
Chloe Chapman Dec 2014
Where mountins are tall and river are wide,
Where mermaids swim and faries hide,
Where princesses live and dragons roar,
Where spirits dance and phoenixes soar,
Where everyone's happy and no one cries,
Where there is no pain and dreams dont lie,
I don't live in that world of fantasy,
That world of fantasy lives in me.
written in 2012 (twelve years old)

— The End —