If your Gods were just,
you would be the one penning this

And I would be blind
And I would be deaf
And I would be numb
To your flavour of bitter bliss

Lend an ear,
hear me whisper -
all I wanted you to do

If I still felt
that you had ever cared,
I would probably ask you..

Did I deserve
to be terrorized
by your spiteful eyes?

You may think
I'm the monster
It is just the skin I wear
Warm to myself but
Intended to scare
The real ones out there

Put me to sleep
I'm so tired of the day
And so scared of the night
Your thoughts have made my mind
Their playground

Put me to sleep
For when my eyes open
There's you, or the want of you
And the certain reality that our
Roads have un-wound

Put me to sleep
Because I have to see you tomorrow
And pretend to be someone else
And all I wish to say to you
Must be spoken sans sound

Put me to sleep
I hate this reality
I hate this passing time
I hate the thought of the moment that
Will come with despair profound

Put me to sleep
Maybe I'll find you in dreams
Stitched from happy memories
Or scribbled pages, or olden journals
Where my delusions abound

She speaks to me
And I tell her things
That normally shut most people out
And others, well they're not listening

Her eyes sparkle sometimes in photographs
Mine tired, always bloodshot
And I think it's a relief to see her smile
But those thoughts remain.. thoughts

Friend? No I don't think so..
But neither am I all round the year
But we talk on blue moons and Mondays
Silly secrets, dumb decisions and foolish fears

We've given each other little spaces,
little places to go to
But the roads to take us there have long been gone
And we end up failing to get through.

At first
Change is strange
But then
Change is good

More often than not,
Some people should

The fluorescent streetlamp shone
As you spoke
The pavement and I
Keen with interest
While the street shook
With the roars of busy travellers

And the smoke kept rising..


The neons blinked to life
When you smiled
The tree-leaves and I
Rustled with excitement
As the gentle wind
Tickled in on a late summer's eve

And the smoke kept rising..


The taillights stopped
As you accelerated
The world and I
Saw you move farther
And farther away
Vanishing into the darkness

And the smoke cleared away..

Secret plots and whispered conversations
They've drawn down their lines in the sand

My limbs and legs dance in painted mirth
For the strings are in their hands

But a part of mine has escaped their eyes
The smouldering flame, the closet arsonist

Parched with a desire, to set the world on fire
Tired and old, tied in a fold, the soul begins to resist

I know,
They'll come with sharpened claws
and hardened steel
But like a snake, I'll escape,
I will shed my skin
I'll crawl through the crevice
that they've never seen
They can't stop me forever
Yes - I'll be free!


The smell of incense and the sound of bells
do not appeal to the senses any longer

For the messengers swoop down like vultures
and I sense I am outnumbered

They're all cut from the same cloth,
Gloating authority and feigning wisdom

Unnecessary absolution awaits in their arms
should the sinner kneel before their Gods

I know,
They'll come with righteous preachment
and medicine
But like a rebel in defiance
I'll bathe in sin
They will pray, say, everyday -
that I am sick
They can't stop me forever
Oh I'll be free!


My pen does not understand the pangs of hunger
It does not feel the need to be polite
It dances to the tune of the chaos in my mind
It moves like a runaway kite

You know,
They want a people of marionettes,
to make promises they never keep
They want to keep us in separate boxes,
So that we may never meet -
They will try to take our languages,
Censor the truths we speak
But they can not stop us forever
This world is ours, and we'll be free.

Just you see.

I wonder
If I ever come as
An unannounced guest
In your mind
Because you stay in mine
Always welcome
All the time

I wonder
If you're unimpressed
By the cover; I urge you
To take a peek within
You'll never know the narrative
If you've made your mind
Before you begin

I wonder
What felt sadder
To have your heart broken
Or shattering mine?
I thought I was the victim
But maybe falling in love
Is the crime

I wonder
If both of us are broken
Why not trade each other
Pieces of our souls
See if we can find
Edges that fit and
Close these gaping holes

I wonder
If we had more time
Would it be any different
Than how it is today?
Would you find me worthy?
Or would you still
Push me away?

Do not tell me
It is not love
That fills me with joy -
The sight of
Your lips
Pulling at the corners
When you break into
A smile
Even if
I am burnt out
From inside

Do not tell me
It is not love
That raises my heartbeat -
The tension
In my nerves
When your
Eyes shine
Moist and sad
Too short to notice
Yet still I do
The narrowest span

Do not tell me
It is not love
That soothes my mind -
The sound
Of your voice
A symphony
Of fresh notes,
gentle chimes
The wind bears
Them once
I perceive them thrice

A fool undoubtedly, but one out of his time
Ancient are my thoughts, yet present is my crime
If this isn't love, I don't know what is
If this isn't love, then educate me

Tell me oh fleeting cloud
Tell me oh passing breeze
Is my suffering in vain, or
Does she ever think of me

Sufficiently suffocated,
Do we abound in blood?

Reason abandoned, our
masters have merchandised war

Irrationality the only currency
The penniless to the churn

One question
to ruin my sleep
to shatter my dreams
to derail my life

Just what am I to you?

A fire in my belly roars
****** cringe for dinner
If I finish
    all the dishes
        am I still a sinner?

Can’t pick your poison
In a usurper’s market
You’re scrolling
    through the trolling
        of the disregarded

Climbing down
from this energy
to make you a final appeal..

Can you hear
the sound of rebellion?
One in a million
Drowning in the distance

Take my hand
before it’s too late to carry on
and we’re off to oblivion
Tonight’s our last dance

                    ...

‘Become anti-fragile!’
The new prophet says
When you type
    ‘wanna die’
        on the internet

Strip till your soul is naked!
Why’s no one listening??
There’s no purpose
    to this service
        that’s on offering

Climbing down
from this energy
to make you a final appeal..

Can you hear
the sound of rebellion?
One in a million
Drowning in the distance

Take my hand
before it’s too late to carry on
and we’re off to oblivion
Tonight’s our last dance

                     ...

                Underneath,
Lost inside a sea of darkness
                   Finally,
I might be seeing a ray of sunshine
             I’m reaching out
   Amidst all the background
                      So..

Burn the book of faces
Hunt the little blue birds
Break the lenses
    of the senseless
        little micro cult

Taste the steel and stone
Past the trigger warnings
Past the snipes
    and the swipes
        of mock-up darlings

Climbing down
from this energy
to make you a final appeal..

Can you hear
the sound of rebellion?
One in a million
Drowning in the distance

Take my hand
before it’s too late to carry on
and we’re off to oblivion
Tonight’s our last dance

Our last chance.

-x-

Look, there's a trail of fire
across my gray wall
The scent of honey
within concrete and dust

The minutest of creatures
march on with impeccable conduct