Why do you keep relapsing?
Well,
Its like yours mind give s you a hunderd reasons
To be happy.
And your depression says
Wait.
Here's a reason to be sad.
Every single thing thats wrong,
That you have done wrong
In your entire life.
All of the memories
And then that voice over rules
Everything.

Home alone.
You break down,
letting out everything,
crying as loud as you can.

Your family come home,
and here you go.
Fake smile,fake laugh,
pretend everything okay.

They do not suspect a thing.
They do not suspect their child is broken and falling apart.

Everyday it gets harder.
Everyday it is a nightmare
                progressing on and on.
Everyday is another prayer
           echoing from my bones,
asking God to please take me now.
Everyday I close up more and more.
    It is getting more impossible to stay here.
Everyday I feel myself die more and more.
     When I  lay down each night,
I wonder how ill leave this hell..
       I never felt so much pain.

When the urges are to high,
take some time to breath..

I know is hard to breath then,
but you will get through this..

This storm won't last forever,
take some time to look back at your life.

It may seem like it was horrible and not worth the memory's,
but your wrong..

God put you here for a reason.

So when you get those thoughts and urges.
Just take 15 minutes and,
breath, and try to relax.
Do something that will get your mind of those things.

God will never put something in your life,
that he knows you can't handle.
You can get through it with his help,
and your strength in him..

Don't you dare tell  me I am beautiful.
Until you have seen my scars...
That are craved into my body,
and the blood that pours out of my soul..

Don't you dare tell me I am lovely,
until I completely shut you out of my life..
Because I swore to myself,
you are just like the others and you will get sick of me.....

Don't you dare tell me I am flawless,
until you have seen me break down in tears..
I will show you the darkness  that's inside me that's consumes me,
and you will run away form me...

But  if you,
have seen my scars,
my bitterness,
and darkness...
Then I might believe you....

She was only 13 and she wished for
happiness...
On her 14th  birthday she wished to
feel alive...
Her 15th birthday she wished she was dead...
She  is already dead inside so it doesn't matter...
When her 16th birthday came she wasn't there not longer....
she was DEAD.....

He is only 10 he should
be crying beacuse he
feel down,not beacuse
someone called him a ***.

She's only 12,she
should be playing with
makeup,not razors..

He's only 14  he should be  out with his freinds,
not tying ropes...

She's only 16, she
should be out on dates,
not staraving herself...

They were all 18, they
should have been
celebrating graduation,
not a furneral...

Do you ever get the feeling,
your are sitting in your room all alone.
Your thoughts are wandering...
Your crying,but you just feel so empty and sad...
Replaying momments from your life,
and wondering where the heck did it all go wrong...

The feeling of the blade running across your skin.
The blood dripping down your legs, and arms.
The numb feeling going all over your body.
Is that what you wanted in the first place.
Not to feel your pain.
Also not having those horrible thoughts in your mind.
After awhile those thoughts will come back with bigger urges...

I realized today that I have
stopped living life.
I am literally just trying to get
to the next day, just living in the
thought of tomorrow.
I am not living, I am waiting.
And the trouble is, I don't know what
I am exactly waiting for. I am kind of
scared for what it might be.

They aren't just scars.
They are the demons
I fought at 3 am.
They are my insecurities,
my deepest fears,
and my lonely nights.
They are the insults I have received and the
emotions I cant contain.
They are a part of me
and are what I have become.

A pile of letters,
all sealed with a kiss.
A boy in a bathroom,
slitting his wrists...
A girl in a closet,
a gun to her head...
A boy on a bridge,
one jump intill he's dead...
A girl in the bathtub,
holding her breath...
They all were happy children,
awaiting their death......

A scar on my wrist,
To you it's just a mark.
I know how it was placed there,
Alone in the darkness.
Odd how esoteric,
A single slice may be.
To me a cry for help.
For you slipped sheath.
Only the ones who done it,
Are the ones who can see.
The marks on your wrist,
Was from a mental disease.

She looked at her blades,
Than looked at her wrist...
She missed that feeling,
But her scars were healing.
She wanted to stay strong,
But i's  been so long...
She put the blade on her wrist,
And than made her hands into a fists...
She dropped the blade,
And began to cry..
She couldn't believe how long it's been,
Since she felt those blades cutting her self.....
She should be so proud,
But voices in her head got so loud...
She sat there in pain,
Because she knew she was  going insane!!!

Welcome to our society.
Where the teens are depressed,
And the students are stressed..
Where people will hate you,
For what you wear and your weight..
Where there's only *** no hugs,
And there is no candy just drugs..
Where we cut form an escape,
And the parents beat and ****...
Where laws forbid people of  being gay,
And everything is weary and grey...
So I hope you enjoy your visit with society,
Just try not to get depressed and anxiety..........

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm dying inside,
But it doesn't matter to you,I'm a nobody..
A suicidal.. self harming girl...,
In the confines of a hospital,
And they say that I'm dying...
And there's nothing they can do.
They will just let me suffer...,
In my own pain and guilt,
It's to late for anyone to save me...
My life is in the hands of the devil....,
Good bye cruel world!!!!