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Feb 2015 · 460
Thursday
Caitlin Feb 2015
It started with me crying,
And me running to someone who would listen.
Then ended with you telling me that you like me...
Feb 2015 · 388
Happy
Caitlin Feb 2015
I feel like for the first time in my life I am happy.
And I'm happy because of you.
To John.. <3
Feb 2015 · 560
To him.
Caitlin Feb 2015
Yesterday I told you that I liked you.
Yesterday you told me that you liked me back.
You made me happy.
I am happy.

Thank you for that.
Love is a powerful thing....
Feb 2015 · 190
Untitled
Caitlin Feb 2015
Its been almost a year since you left.
Why do you haunt me still?
Feb 2015 · 185
Optional
Caitlin Feb 2015
What does that word even mean?
Its optional?
What's optional?
Does that mean that I can chose not to do it and not get hurt?
Or will I still get hurt?

I'm so confused.
Feb 2015 · 705
To you, Yes you.
Caitlin Feb 2015
I love you all, here on Hellopoetry.
Without you. I wouldn't know where I'd be, or even who I'd be.
Thank you.
Jan 2015 · 659
Today
Caitlin Jan 2015
Today I was called spoiled.
Today I almost cried.
Today I reached my limit.
Today I fell.
Today I learned that I can't expect anything from you.
Today I lived.

Today I was ridiculed.
Today I was pushed.
Today I was disappointed.
Today I was tired of putting up with your crap.
Today I lived.

Today I was done with life.
Today I was discouraged.
Today I was alone.
Today I learned.
Today I lived.

Today I loved.
Today I learned.
Today I lived
Jan 2015 · 305
Perfect.
Caitlin Jan 2015
I'm not.
Stop assuming I am.
Jan 2015 · 240
Dark Feeling
Caitlin Jan 2015
This feeling..
I don't like it.
Take it away,
Please?
Jan 2015 · 200
Him
Caitlin Jan 2015
Him
I texted you....
Shame on me.
Jan 2015 · 262
Untitled
Jan 2015 · 236
Silence
Caitlin Jan 2015
I find it easier to do than speaking up.
Staying silent.
It's the option you choose when you are uncomfortable with how life is but is to afraid to change it.

It's the option that will get you in less trouble then speaking your mind and regretting it later.

I stay silent to protect not only me, but others around me as well.
*I stay silent
Jan 2015 · 388
Hearts (10w)
Caitlin Jan 2015
Mine is broken
Yours is whole.

Where is the fairness?
Jan 2015 · 468
Confessions
Caitlin Jan 2015
You see me,
At first glance,
I may look like a strong young women.
Like I have confidence,
Like I don't care about what other people say.
But if you look closer you'd see the miniscule fractures that make up my heart,
The broken peices of my soul left in the hands of those I love,
The tears that come down my eyes, when I think no one is looking.
*I am broken..
Always have been.
Always will.
Just something.. a challenge. Hope you like it, it's more raw emotion than anything really
Jan 2015 · 321
So Today I Told You..
Caitlin Jan 2015
So you know the poem that I wrote, Goodbyes?
Well the guy that I was talking about falling for..
I showed him the poem..

He didn't really react..
I don't think he got it that I was starting to like him.....
Jan 2015 · 391
Step up..
Caitlin Jan 2015
Stop depending on me so much.

*I'm afraid I'll let you down
Just me right now.. Thinking of band.. And my leadership..
Jan 2015 · 532
Can't you see??
Caitlin Jan 2015
Can't  you see what you do to me?
The way you make me feel?

Can't you see it in the way my eyes light when I talk around you?
Can't you see it in the way I act around you?
I'm not usually like this..
I was shy and unrevealing of  my emotions..

Can't you see that I trust you?
Can't you see that I love our hugs?
My arms around you shoulders and my face pressed into your neck?

Can't you see what you do to me?
Can't you see how you make me feel?
To him... I love you.. If only...
Jan 2015 · 1.9k
Clarity-Zedd-- Reflections
Caitlin Jan 2015
'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?*

I am done fighting for someone who isn't worth my time,
This song describes exactly how I feel.
He is/was my clarity for my broken world..
Now He's gone...
just a reflection of how this song makes me feel...
Jan 2015 · 1.3k
I Dreamed A Dream
Caitlin Jan 2015
I once dreamed of a life where all was how I wanted it,
He was there, by my side, never leaving.
Her and I were talking again, and all my friends got along.
I never had to worry if what I was doing was goo enough because my parents were fine with anything I did, as long as I was happy.
I never had a problem with communication or showing my true feelings


But it was only a dream..
Jan 2015 · 212
You
Caitlin Jan 2015
You
Can't we all just love each other?
Why do we have to fight?
Jan 2015 · 255
Writing...
Caitlin Jan 2015
When I sit down to actually write a poem,
Not one that comes from my feeling or pure thought,
A poem that reflects My true identity as a writer,
My mind always wanders to those I have loved,
and to those who I do love
Both currently and the ones I never stopped loving.

I write because of them.
And because its a stress reliever for me,
And because I love to write.
Jan 2015 · 520
Safe Haven Part 2
Caitlin Jan 2015
It's not at home
Not at church..

I'm not even sure it's with music any more..
Jan 2015 · 329
To Fall In Love With A Poet
Caitlin Jan 2015
It's actually not hard to do.
You grin at the way her hands are shaking to get tot a pen and paper.
You think is adorable how she only uses one certain type of pen, and only pen- no pencil for this writer.
You hate to see her at a loss for words because she always has words, even when everything else fails her.
You want to be the only one to leave her speechless
and the only one to make her write like mad.
You stick around long enough and you notice that she writes in the same pen that she uses to write poem, she uses to write on herself, different word and phrases she wants to remember.
You love the way her eyes light up when she comes up with the perfect ten words to describe something.
You think that she is the one who dreams and writes all that she remembers.

A warning for you, if you do fall in love wit a poet,
Remember that she is human, just like you.
Remember that she is writing for a reason.
Remember that if you break her heart,
You could, possibly break the very part of her that writes and it could Be days or weeks or months before she starts to write again.
And she will write only love and heartbreak poems,
Not the ones you remember about the trees or clouds or how your eyes get a gleam in them when you smile.

Just don't break her heart.
Jan 2015 · 262
To my parents.
Caitlin Jan 2015
Can I get any slack?
I do so much for this family,
And that's what I get in return??
No, I'm not like my brother.
But you still treat us sorta kinda the same?
I know what I need to do.
I know what my job is.
Do you even know half of the crap I deal with on a daily basis?
I don't need it at home too.
I can't even get a break???
You asked me if I was alright?
Do you even care?
What if I wasn't?
What then??
Do you even know me anymore???
Jan 2015 · 259
me
Caitlin Jan 2015
me
My life *****.
Jan 2015 · 2.0k
Recipe
Caitlin Jan 2015
So you want to make me?
A moody?
Ok, here's what you do.

Have a caring soul.
Tear that soul's heart to pieces.
Then try to reassemble those parts.
If you are successful, put that heart inside of a body that is fat, too tall. and not noticed by anyone.

There you have a moody.
Caitlin Moody.
Just me right now.. Maybe I'll write a different one, later..
Jan 2015 · 370
My Life...
Caitlin Jan 2015
I hate my life.
I can say that honestly.
Nothing goes right for me..
Not love, Not family,
Nothing.

I hate it.
I'm avoiding my family right now.. They just don't get it.
Jan 2015 · 200
Breaking again.
Caitlin Jan 2015
I am breaking.
And it's my own **** fault.
I wish I could take it back,
To go back to the way we were..
But I doubt that will happen again.

I love you too much to let you go.
Please don't let me go...
Jan 2015 · 209
Help!! part 2
Caitlin Jan 2015
So My friend is fine.
He is fine. I talked to him almost all of last night..
Thanks for listening.
Jan 2015 · 226
Help!
Caitlin Jan 2015
What do yo do when someone you love,
has a knife to their wrist????????
Please don't leave here. I need you still.
Jan 2015 · 485
A Miracles (10w)
Caitlin Jan 2015
I feel one..
A miracle.
It's coming....
I hope soon.
Jan 2015 · 357
Ramblings
Caitlin Jan 2015
Have you ever thought about love, like as much as I've thought about love?
Do you know that I think of you more often than not?
Do you ever think of me?

I hate this feeling inside when I think that you could come back.
It's a mixture of fear and anxiety and joy.
I want to show you that you no longer effect me, but at the same time I fear that I actually do...
Him. That's all I can say...
Jan 2015 · 2.0k
Family pain...
Caitlin Jan 2015
I hate that I have to bite my tongue around my family,
To keep what I want to say back..
Instead I simply nod and
Act like the daughter I'm supposed to be...
This is actually my life. I hate having to put on a front to my family, because they expect me to be perfect. It *****.
Jan 2015 · 456
Pressure
Caitlin Jan 2015
Don't you know that I know what pressure I'm under?
I don't need your nagging too.
Jan 2015 · 231
Dying
Caitlin Jan 2015
Why must you **** me with
each picture you post of you and her?

I'm jealous..
Jan 2015 · 303
December
Caitlin Jan 2015
Remember December
The life that we knew

Don't you ever forget.
Jan 2015 · 198
There are times
Caitlin Jan 2015
There are times, like now where I think to myself, why can't I feel like this all the time.
I'm with friends who actually care, but I only see them once a week on Sunday...
I'm so lost in this world full of souls who are just like me.
I want to be noticed.
I want to be loved.
**Can't anyone see that?
Jan 2015 · 169
Depression
Caitlin Jan 2015
Now mind you, this is not something that you discuss around just anyone...
I am depressed. Not so bad that I have to take pills or see doctors.
But I can't shake this feeling that I'm not worth anything,
Or the one that tells me that all of this is just a lie.
Or even the one that tells me that people actually care about me...
That's why I'm depressed...
Jan 2015 · 206
Sinking feeling
Caitlin Jan 2015
I
  Have
   This
    Sinking
      Feeling
        In the
         Pit of
           My
              Stomach...
        No  
          Idea
             Why.
Jan 2015 · 445
Ask.
Caitlin Jan 2015
How many of you actually care?
I really want to know.
Jan 2015 · 877
Band-Aids
Caitlin Jan 2015
I just ran out of band-Aids.
I have none left for me...
Tonight... Tonight was terrible.
Jan 2015 · 822
Expectations
Caitlin Jan 2015
Why do I expect so much from people, who will fail?
Again tonight..
Jan 2015 · 3.5k
Cold Rain
Caitlin Jan 2015
I'm thankful for the rain,
For it covers my tears.

I'm thankful that it's cold,
For it excuses my shaking.
Tonight. This was me.
Jan 2015 · 418
Rant
Caitlin Jan 2015
So today, I realized that I was depressed, based on the poem "my fear" that is evident. so I told some people. Like my English teacher, who has been very supportive of me this past year. He quite possibly understands me better than my parents do. But what He said after I showed him "My Fear", shocked me. He said I needed therapy, to get someone else's opinion on my life, which is true. So I decided to get a second opinion, from my band director. I love my band director, He gets me. So I told him that I was depressed about family and stress and school. and He started talking to me about this, and how it effects my playing and ect. But one thing He said was that I need to use this pressure, for that was what it boiled down to was pressure, and use it as motivation. And so I left, feeling a little better. But what really got me was that when I enter the band room afterschool, to grab some music to copy at home, my folder is missing. Now folders rarely go missing, because we have our own spot for them. And I did eventually locate my folder, but the thing was that 4 pieces of my music were missing. a exercise book, a chorale and 2 festival music. Now I know that when I put my music away after class, which was 6th period, we only had one class left. but I KNOW that  I had my music in that folder. So sometime within 50 min, someone took my folder out and took my music. Now that, that is out, the fact that I was depressed than this incident with my music made me paranoid, it was not a good combination. I almost started to cry.... it was terrible.
Jan 2015 · 298
Reminder.
Caitlin Jan 2015
I need to strive under pressure,
It's the only way to get out of this depression.
Jan 2015 · 189
Me
Caitlin Jan 2015
Me
I am changing.
Don't know whether that's good or bad...
Jan 2015 · 825
I Fear...
Caitlin Jan 2015
I fear that this feeling inside of me won't go away.
I fear that this depression will consume me.
I fear that I will bleed until I come to my senses.
I fear what would happen of people found out..
I fear what you, whose reading this will say.
I fear me.
I fear this change.
I fear me.
Please don't take this the wrong way....
Jan 2015 · 766
The Three Roses
Caitlin Jan 2015
One the darkest red,
    Like blood.
One the purest white,
     Like snow.
One the lightest pink,
    Like her soul..

Can these three live side by side?
Or will the pure white one be
tainted by the blood red one?

Who know?
This came to me as I looked at  my profile picture.. hope you like it!
Jan 2015 · 564
Hiding
Caitlin Jan 2015
People think that I'm hiding something..

But you wanna know the truth?

I am hiding something.

I am hiding myself.
If that makes sense...
Jan 2015 · 232
To you:
Caitlin Jan 2015
I love you!!
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