I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a thing for you anymore

We were short lived
But ******* we were beautiful

People loose feelings for all sorts of reasons
It was small things like in the way you poured cream in my coffee and a tablespoon too much of sugar
I like black coffee
It was in the way you said I love you
Screaming it from rooftops with feigned patience
I could've said it louder instead of whispering it with promise
You think alcohol tastes bitter and fruity
I think it tastes like love and regret
You thought it was our differences that brought us closer
I thought they ripped us apart
You left me silently like a sunrise at 6 am
I left you like you were a stranger on a bus
You didn't have the courage to say goodbye or to watch me cry
I didn't have the nerve to ask how or more importantly why
You remember me as the first person you fell in love with
I remember you as the last person to break my heart
You told me, "I don't think you're the right one for me anymore"
I told you, "I hope you find whatever you need that you couldn't find in me"
8 months ago for the last time you told me you loved me
I see you today and I almost say it back

And it wasn't romantic
It wasn't even affectionate
It was incredibly excruciating
Nothing was okay
And needing someone to make it okay
Is not endearing
Because there is a difference
Between love and needing someone

Don't kiss me like you'll want me tomorrow

And i think you wanted me to
Wild, sleepless,unbreakable me
To kiss you so hard that all our problems vanished
But I couldn't because you were leaving
I couldn't look at you tonight
Because I was living in a certain moment that I knew i would never experience again
A moment just before we collide
The space before we close in
I love that more than what follows through
More than how you kiss me so hard it leaves bruises
More than my name leaving your trembling lips like you can't help it
Like it hurts
That moment is held with you wanting me
Not in a frantic way that makes us stumble to a bathroom stall
But in the purest form of the word
Want in a way where it feels as if you're not in control anymore
And I couldn't look at you
Because your eyes are enough to break me
And I ignore your phone calls
because last time was the last time
And I'm still holding my promise to keep your secrets
I always will
Even the ones you keep from yourself

Not once did I ever convince myself
that I was good enough for you

Don't fall in love with people who can hold your heart with an iron grip
Who breathe with sunken chests and look with sleepless eyes
With high cheekbones and ***** smirks
Who touch you delicately with soft hands
Who utter the word **** at you when you fight
Until they are then walking back the two miles to show that the word is merely just an action you two complete
People that say they'll make love to you as hard as they say they do
But they don't and probably never will

you are all shades of the sky
and I wake up each morning not knowing which you'll be

I had loved you in a thousand ways. And it wasn't enough. Not even close

Don't fall in love with me
I will break your heart before you even have a chance to think about it
Because I've been doing this alone thing a long time
Because my dad has been breaking my heart everyday of my life
I will read you like a ******* book, then tear out every page
I will kiss you like it's the last time  

Unbutton your pants like its a passion of mine
There will be lipstick stained on your favourite shirt because I am always too eager
You will make me your whole world
And I will have never ran faster than the time I ran away from you
You will think you understand me

You'll think I'm lying when I tell you I'm a **** person
But I ******* told you

And the worst isn't the yelling
Or the arguing
Hell, it isn't even the tears
The worst is knowing
That I slip from your mind
Easier than I would have been able to a couple months ago

All I want is
Wine bottles and cigarettes
Followed by ***** flavoured kisses
And chills up my back
I want the stumbles to find the bedroom
I need the clawing at my hair
And the yearning for more
I want the action of coming undone
The finish line
But I'm sorry to say that
I don't need or want
the I love you's

You faced your fears and left
*-you told me you were afraid of losing me

And she sees him shaking and tries to push it out of her mind
So she kisses and touches his neck because that's all she knows how to do.