Make myself into a *****
I’ve been there before
The lesson of this ’sin’ begins within
the philosophy.
Society, a judgmental *****, calls it a monstrosity
but it’s simple
it’s lean
You can make it obscene
But the honest truth is it’s not easy to be easy
to rise above the want of love
Love is for family,
love is for friends
romance is for those to be called a martyr in the end
“But I gave her everything,
but I was a saint.”
But no, you were a ******* taint.
You wanted to get and that’s why you gave
you wanted a beautiful, infatuating slave
**** popular bred trust
give me chemical lust.
Superficial holes need superficial fillers
*****, ******, tongues and fingers.
But the holes in my psyche are the holes for my demons.
They can’t be filled with gestures or *****.
Those are for me, for ******* my reality.
to fall in love… to be together.
Ridiculous expectations… the result of expired tradition.
You will fail to receive that which does not exist.
So just grab my **** and press your mouth to my lips.

Fancy, a flighty folly,
I’ve found fairly hard to find.
As soon as she stops searching
so suddenly it slips into sight.

Love’s lack leaves life lackluster,
but lust can lead life lessons
Wayward ones will waste them.
While worrywarts wail un-waning.

My existence becomes hard to stomach
Then I get sick from all the running
If I never loved it wouldn’t be anything at all
If I never cared I would never fall

I find society’s mess overwhelming
like a water well filled with mud
When will I draw out a clean bucket?
I’m so thirsty, but I guess just **** it.

writhing and bawling on the bathroom floor
This is the life
bleeding my feelings beneath the mask of a *****
Poison my dreams with a slow-working cancer
This is the life
Just to find death’s the only answer.

Disassociate me. I am not yours. I am not their’s. I am not them. I am in my bubble. I am out of that box. Flying high. Impenetrable. Out of reach. All of you are out of reach.

But **** this solid body.  My soul looks *****… because I’m in this bubble too long. Difficult for you to see through the atmosphere of pain and aggression.  Glass lost its gleam.

I long for intervention.  Only for a spell. Only one night of hell. Then I’ll go up, up, and away.

I wonder this, I wonder that…
Isn’t it all in all a wonder?
a marvel of the mind?
a marvel?
The world…
The world I wander,
not by foot but neurologics,
electronic pulse.
Tick tock.
I wander all night.
I wonder my life away.
Nomadic cognition,
Evasive mental technician,
she wonders away living.
She wanders away from life.
Escapist, flee the seen.
Searches for the unknown.
A scene of undefined frontier.

an unseen.

what we don’t know…
That’s the marvel.
But mostly the knowing are known.
However, I wonder.